


Fire on the Horizon

by Thalianix



Series: Sky and Horizons Series [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-03-23 13:55:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 49
Words: 65,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13789137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thalianix/pseuds/Thalianix
Summary: Garrus and Femsheps story from the end of ME2 through and beyond ME3 as told through some direct from game story dialogue/situations and missing moments. Labeled Mature for later chapters.





	1. Promises Promises

**Author's Note:**

> (7/12/2018: Thank you for all the support as this story developed and posted. I appreciate all the readers and comments. If you like this story, please take a few minutes and check out the prequel "Sparks in the Sky." Again thank you all so much. If you are new to this story, I hope you enjoy it and thank you for reading.)
> 
> This is my first fanfiction work in several years. My goal is to tell Garrus and Femsheps story from their eyes, behind the scenes. I own none of the characters. Only Bioware can claim that. I hope you enjoy. Also, new chapters will be uploaded at least once a week.

"It won't be long Garrus. It's not like I'm being court martialed." Shepard took her regulation hair down out of it's bun allowing it to flow past her shoulders. The conversation had been going on during dinner, two hours before that, and another half hour session prior to that. She didn't like it anymore than he did, but what could she do.

Garrus walked into the Commander's quarters letting the door slightly shut behind him. He made his way to the sofa and sat, facing Jane, back against the arm of the sofa. 

"No, a court martial would at least mean you would be booted out and could leave freely with me." The frustration and anger was apparent in his voice, not that he was trying to hide it. He knew that if the Alliance wanted to press matters they could. He wasn't blind to it. As far as some members of the Alliance were concerned, and outside the Alliance for that matter, she was a traitor. 

He couldn't help the image of the day on Horizon come to the front of his mind. As awful and cruel as the response from Kaidan was to Jane's new found existence, unfortunately it was a tune that would be sung by many. Cerberus was just not well liked, and for good reason. 

Jane sat down across from Garrus on the sofa. She didn't know what to say, so she tried smoothing things over with a good old shot of optimism. "I spoke to Anderson. Unofficially. He said that this is more or less to a horse and pony show. They put me up at Alliance base headquarters in Canada. I sit pretty, have an armed guard, and it keeps me safe. It looks as though I am being punished for my crimes and allows me to be safe from anyone seeking any kind of revenge on me. A few months tops."

Garrus had been looking down at his lap with a scowl on his face. He lifted his eyes up to her at the mention of months. "Months?!? Well, this just gets better and better doesn't it?"

He stood and walked to a well hidden built-in cabinet next to her bed. His back was blocking the view, but she knew what he was doing. The clink of a glass and the sound of pouring liquid confirmed it. 

He turned taking a strong pull on the drink he had made himself. The purple liquid disappearing quickly. He swallowed, turned, and poured another. He walked back over to the sofa and took his former seat back.

"Garrus they can keep me safe." She leaned in to touch his arm, but quickly pulled back when she heard a growl from deep in his chest. 

"I can keep you safe! Archangel can keep you safe. Shit Joker could keep you safer than those fools can." He took a sip of the drink and shook his head. 

All he had wanted was for one thing, just one, to go right. It had too. For awhile. They had their night before they went on their suicide mission. Two things happened that night that he never expected. The first was everything going perfectly. Every step, every kiss, every touch, and every sigh was perfection. A romantic evening straight out of one of Tali's fairytale videos. They woke up, went into the relay, and surprise...they came back alive. All of them. 

They were still working with Cerberus for a bit. Shepard had given the Illusive Man the tech they found and in return he had given her all the room she needed to help humanity. That's when the second thing happened that Garrus had never expected. Falling in love. Oh, he didn't tell her of course. Why ruin a good thing right? It didn't mean it wasn't true. Any chance he had he was with her. He spent the majority of his downtime with her. 

In honesty, the only difference between now and before was the sex and sleeping in the same bed. Still, a large difference. Especially to him. He had no idea if she felt the same way, and now was damn sure not the time to ask. Instead, he took a deep breath and looked at her.

"What do you want me to do Jane?" 

His words shocked her. She and Garrus had never really had discussions where he asked what she wanted him to do. That sort of thing was saved more for orders on the battlefield. She shook her head. Her first response was to tell him to wrap his arms around her, hold her, and let her feel the peace that she had only found in the arms of a Turian. In his arms. She didn't want to seem needy, weak, or scare him off though. She knew how she felt about him. She had known since the moment he told her that she would never make him uncomfortable. 

She sighed and held back what she really wanted him to do. "Get help. Find supporters. See what we can do to prepare Garrus. After that fiasco that Hacket sent me on, well… we all know what is going to happen. We don't have much time. I need you to get us some help. A foothold."

Garrus nodded. He knew it made sense. He could go to Palaven. Talk with his dad. They had become slightly closer since his mother had passed. Maybe the stubborn man would listen to him. 

Garrus finished his drink and kept his back to her as he put the glass on her desk next to the pile of datapads. His voice was so soft and low that she barely heard him when he spoke next. 

"Promise me something Shepard." He stood with his back to her. The words coming out almost like a question.

She waited. When she said nothing, he continued. 

"Promise me you'll stay in touch. You are about the only friend I have left in this damn galaxy. I can't lose that. Promise me."  
He had said friend. Her heart sank to her knees. She shook it off. A friend. A good friend. One of the only ones he had left. A friend with benefits. She would take it. The truth was, she couldn't lose him either. 

She stood and stepped barefoot on the cold floor towards the tall Turian. Wrapping her arms around him from behind she simply whispered, "I promise."


	2. Protection of Archangels

Shepard spent the next several weeks brokering a deal between herself, members of the crew, and the Alliance. Her first step was to allow anyone who wanted to remain with Cerberus to leave. They would be dropped off at secure location with the only restriction being that there communication would be monitored prior to the drop off date to ensure Cerberus didn't know of her departure.

Once that was handled, she began having meetings with Hackett and Anderson via vidcom. She arranged for no charges to be filed against any of her crew. She brokered deals for Joker to return as an Alliance pilot. She even somehow managed to get Jack a deal where she would be recruited by the Alliance for a job "suited to her talents." 

The final agreement was for her. She would arrive at a secured location, handover the Normandy, and release herself into Andersons custody. The secure location ended up being not as secure as Garrus would have liked, but he understood the reasoning. Omega. Neutral ground. If things looked like they were going to flip on her, she could leave and hide easily if need be. Not that she was a runner, but this was not the best of situations. 

Kasumi had agreed to help if that was the case and so had Zaeed. Garrus had decided to stay on board until the last second. He had even surprised her with luxury accomodations on Omega, through a deal with Aria of course, for the night before she would meet with Anderson. If he was giving her up for months, by the Spirits, he was going to have one last night with her before he did. 

He grabbed his duffle bag and met Jane at the docking bay entrance to Omega. She was in civilian clothes, but none that he had ever seen her wear before. She was in a blue pair of pants that Joker had told him were called jeans on Earth. She had her hair down and was wearing a top that looked similar to the tank top she wore when she was sparring or working out. A black leather jacket was over the top and matched her leather boots. In a word she looked amazing to him. 

Her bag was sat at her feet, her ass leaned against the wall. She looked up and smiled as he walked towards her. He wasn't in his normal clothing either. He had on a pair of black loose pants similar to his workout pants. The shirt he had on reminded her of short leave t-shirts human men wore. There was some kind of writing in Turian splashed across the front of the shirt. She smiled noticing that it showed off the muscle in his arms well and the ridgeline of his neck. God she was going to miss him.

He walked up to her, leaned in, and gently kissed her cheek. She smiled softly and waited for him to lead. WIthout warning, but also without hesitation, he guided her to his side, put an arm around her waist, and began leading her down the corridors of the city. Areas she had never been to or seen when they were there before. 

They spent the ride to the accommodations in near silence. Saying only what was required for answers. Garrus lead her to the elevator and then out and down a long haul to what was clearly a sky suite. Taking out a card he popped it into the door slide and a green light blinked as Shepard heard the lock click.

He opened the door and motioned with his arm for her to step in. As she did she took in a breath and then began to laugh. He smirked and stepped in, locking the door behind him, and placing their bags on the floor. 

"I take it the accomodations suit you Commander?" He was still smirking as he tossed the keycard onto a table and the prim and proper soldier Vakarian left to make way for the casual Garrus that she loved.

She looked around the room to see four boxes of pizza on the coffee table. Enough beer to put Afterlife out of business, a widescreen television, and a stack of four vids. There was no sofa. Instead, the sofa had been replaced with a bed larger than her first apartment. Everything in the room was meant for both Turian and human comfort. Even the pizzas were for both consumption. Two of each. 

"All it's missing is a hot tub and triple jet shower." She caught his smirk and followed his hand as he pointed to a closed door on the other side of the room. 

Her eyes got big and a soft laugh of astonishment escaped her. "No??? You're kidding."

"Only the best for my girl." 

He immediately went to kick himself for the dropped remark, but stopped when he realized she must not have heard him. She was heading straight for the closed door.

He chuckled softly and began walking towards her, following at a slight distance. 

The door opened and she flipped on the light. The room was surrounded on three sides by glass. The view overlooked all of Omega. From that view, it looked breathtaking. She turned and saw that the hot tub had jets that were already whirling the water. Plush towels were piled in a pyramid formation next to the hot tub. 

On a small cart near the tub was a black box with a blue velvet ribbon. The same shade of blue as his visor and his clan markings. She let her gaze fall next to it and she gasped. There, laying perfectly on the cart was a small bottle of oil in a velvet gift box. 

"Garrus! You remembered? But, I said that so long ago. I said it…"

He cut her off as he moved to her letting one talon gently glide down her back. His voice was low and husky, like it was when he would get lost in calibrations. 

"We were in the Normandy's mess hall. It was right after Virmire. Liara was talking about scents and how scents and sounds stick with you and etch in your memories. You said, the one scent that always made you feel like home and safe was Sandlewood. I never forgot it. When I was on Omega during my Archangel days, I ran into a red sand dealer. His sister owned an oil shop. And...the rest is history."

Shepard picked up the bottle and ran a finger over it lightly. Opening the top she took in a whiff of the oil. A smile crossed her face. Memories started rushing back to her and it struck her. All at once. Most Turians wore some kind of oil to help with their skin. In many cases it was a simple unscented body oil of some kind. A few Turian males had their own scent that would mix with the oil. She could never place Garrus' scent other than it made her feel comfortable, safe, and at home. When she smelled the sandalwood it all clicked. She turned to him and he smiled nervously.

He cleared his throat as he took the bottle from her, placing it back in the velvet gift box. "I've been wearing it since I was 15."

There was a silence, and he finally spoke up. "So, dinner and a movie. Some beer. Some hot tub time, and maybe bed? What do you say?"

She could hear the awareness in his voice. He sounded like he did their first night together. It was very endearing. "I'd say it is time for me to finally see this Fleet and Flotilla you have been raving about Mr. Vakerian."

Garrus smiled and took her hand. He had to stop when he felt her not moving. He turned slowly around and she was holding the other box in her hand. "But first, what is this?"

He cleared his throat and took the box from her. "Later."

She let it go for the moment and followed him to the main room. Within an hour they were snuggled tight, eating pizza, drinking beer, watching the movie, and at peace. As the movie drew to a close, some two hours later, they were both feeling the buzz of their drinks. They leaned back on the bed and Garrus found himself running a hand over her arm, down her side, over her soft belly. 

Shepard groaned his name, making him growl in return. Several hours later, both spent and exhausted, Garrus rolled to his back pulling Shepherd to his chest and pulling the blanket over their warm naked bodies. He was trying to make the night last longer. To make it stretch to eternity. Their deal, before landing on Omega, was that he would leave before she turned herself in. That way he could go to get the help they needed, regardless of how things went down with Anderson. If something went wrong Zaeed would contact him. If not, she would contact him when she could. 

He was taking in everything about her in that moment. Her touch, her breathing, her scent. He had thought she drifted off to sleep when he heard her whisper against his chest. 

"Mmm, what was that Jane?"

She lifted her head, still a bit buzzed, and smiled at him. It was a sad smile, and just as he was about to ask why, she spoke. 

""I told Liara, after we helped her, that I never thought I'd find peace in the arms of a Turian. Now, I don't know how I will ever feel peace without them. How I'll make it through these next few months. I...I…" her voice trailed off. 

It was the most vulnerable Garrus had ever seen her. Her words touched him more deeply than he could have ever imagined. Meant more than he could have ever hoped. He circled his arms around her tightly and held her close. Kissing the top of her head he whispered, "Your guardian angel will always be there Jane."

She nodded and a short time later fell asleep holding him. 

She woke several hours later to a natural light alarm. As her eyes woke and adjusted she rolled over and felt the cold sheets next to her. Her heart sank as she looked to the door and saw only her bag there. 

She sat up and jumped as she felt something cold touching her chest. Her hand reached down and pulled at a piece of metal. She lifted it, and it's chain that was around her neck, to eye level. Tears welled up in her eyes at what she saw. It was half of the archangel emblem that Garrus had worn. It looked like it had been broken in half perfectly. She flipped it over and saw something written on the opposite side in Turian.

Turning on her omnitool she scanned over the broken wing of the emblem. The omni tool focused in on the wording.

"May the wings of the spirits watch over you. May they hold you and keep you. May they protect you like an Archangel."


	3. Gilded Cages

The last five and a half months had not been exactly what Shepard had expected. To be honest, she didn't really know what she had expected to happen. She turned herself in and it took over three weeks to just process her through the various levels of red tape. Anderson had come to her when she arrived in Canada to debrief her. 

Once they were left alone, he told her what was going on. She would be held in an apartment. She was being kept there for her safety, psych evaluations, and to answer any questions the Alliance brass had for her. She would be decommissioned with no hearing pending. Her commission was not on the table for negotiation. She was a very well kept prisoner that the Alliance was labeling as everything from a traitor to an informant, depending on who you talked to. 

She could come and go as she pleased, with her guard. She had to be back in her apartment by 2200. She had freedom to roam, with her guard. She could read correspondence and send correspondence, as long as it had been scanned and approved. In other words, there was no privacy and she was under 24 hours surveillance. She kept telling herself it could be worse.

Anderson finished his debriefing and asked her where the bathroom was. She thought it was an odd question since all the apartments were set up the same, but she nodded her head to the far left of the room. He stood, walked to the door, and that's when she noticed it. There was no camera. No way for him to be monitored once he was inside the door. He pulled out a small data drive from his jacket and placed it on the sink before shutting the door. A few minutes later she heard a flush, the sink turning on then off, then he emerged. 

"Nice bathroom. Make sure you keep it that way for my next visit." He winked at her and took a glance at the cameras all around the room. He shook his head. She knew he felt like this whole thing was a setup where she was playing the fall guy. She also knew he had to play along until he could actually do something.

"Before I go, there's something else. Your guard. Vega get in here!" Anderson turned his head to shout towards the door. The door slid open and a few seconds later this well built soldier stepped in. he wasn't totally regulation, she noticed. He had a tattoo that crept up his neck. It appeared to be tribal of some sort. 

He stepped in, stopped, saluted her, and went to an at ease position. "Commander. James Vega. I'm your guard for the next few months." Just behind him was a duffle bag and a small foot locker.

Shepard raised a brow to Anderson who shrugged. 

"He's living here?" Shepard asked a bit shocked and more than a bit annoyed.

Anderson nodded. 'Vega is a god guy, great soldier, and best of all not a hardass. He will keep you guarded, safe, and meets the Alliance needs. He'll also have a beer with you, let you retreat to the bathroom, and he can cook a mean Huevos Rancheros."

Shepard laughed a bit and nodded. "Okay, fine. Welcome to the cell Vega."

Anderson nodded and left the two alone. They spent the next hour chatting a bit. Vega went to the empty room in the apartment and began putting his stuff down. Shepard took the moment to go to the bathroom and get the drive that Anderson had left for her. She turned on the bath water and popped the drive into her datapad.

The first thing that popped up was a note from Anderson. He quickly told her how to access the messages on the file, what to do with them when she was done, and how to navigate everything. It was apparently some sort of mail system set up by Liara. He didn't know that of course. All he knew was that it came from one of the shadow brokers people. 

He did tell her that he couldn't do this often so she had to take what she could get when she could get it. She went to the next message and smiled. It was a short one from Palaven.

"Shepard, not sure if this will make it to you. Talked to Dad. I'll fill you in later. This line isn't as secure as I would like. I have to meet with Palaven High Command in a few hours. It's the first time I've worn my dress uniform since I left the military for C-Sec. It still fits. I feel like i've been stuffed into a dextro food tube. Have I mentioned I hate talking to Palaven High Command? I hope you're well. I miss you, so do what they tell you and be a good little soldier so I don't have to keep missing you. G."

Shepard smiled at the note. She took a moment to imagine him in his dress uniform before pushing the thought away and going to the next few messages. Kasumi was cryptic but stated that she had acquired some artwork for Shepard should she ever finally decide to settle down. Liara had a quick note. Something about a dig site on Mars. There were a few notes here and there from Joker and one from Jack. There was even one from her mother. Finally, toward the end of the messages was one from Garrus again. It was simple, but powerful. At least to her.

"I'm just going to start sending you the things that pop in my head since anything personal could be used against either of us and anything war related could be as well. So, here goes. Have you ever wondered what a Turian/Human baby would look like? Yeah, me neither. G"

She laughed a bit. She knew that side of him. It was the get her to laugh with something that is serious, but that you can easily say was just a joke. A few minutes later, Shepard answered back to everyone, saving her final response for Garrus.

"Hey Big Guy. They have me in a very nice gilded cage. All the food I can want. The freedom to come and go. Meetings. A soft bed. Hot food. And oh yeah, a brick shithouse build guard named Vega. Did I mention he is with me all the time and even lives here? Yeah, this is fun. So a dress uniform? Vids or it didn't happen. A turian human baby. I've wondered on occasion, but then I wake up and go about my day. You too? Please be careful. I need someone to spar with and go to the range with. Liara is too skittish. Besides, I like the looks we get. Shepard. "

She hit send and left the bathroom. Vega was sitting on the sofa watching a game. He said nothing. He just held his hand out. She put the drive in it silently. He pocketed it and looked at the game. "Hey, you like sports?"

"More of a poker player myself." Shepard answered with a smirk.

"Oh really? I think we are gonna get along just fine Commander." Vega smiled and leaned back. 

 

***I appreciate everyone who has read this so far. I just wanted to take a quick second and tell you that more chapters are coming. I know this is a slow build up, but it's about to pick up quickly. Hope you guys enjoy it. I'll be adding several chapters a week. I'd love to read your reviews as well. Thank you again*****


	4. Dates and Datapads

"Vakarian, sir!" A voice down the hallway called out to Garrus. He didn't catch it at first. Anytime he heard his last name followed by the word sir, he automatically thought of his father. The second time he heard the voice shout he realized it was to him. He stopped and turned just in time to see a young Turian soldier approach him. He couldn't be more than 18, Garrus thought to himself.

"At ease soldier. Take a breath. Good, now tell me what you need." Garrus smirked a bit as he watched the boy try to take several breaths and let his heart catch up to his breathing. 

The soldier held out a small datapad. "For you, sir. From Alliance command. At least, I think it is."

Garrus looked over the datapad and back to the soldier. "Thank you." Garrus started to turn when he realized the soldier was still standing there. Shit. He was a terrible Turian. 

"Dismissed." Garrus said as sternly as possible, which always sounded to him like he was trying to mimic his father. The soldier nodded, saluted, and ran off leaving Garrus with the datapad. 

The datapad had the insignia of the Alliance on the bottom corner. He hoped it was from Shepard. Wished even that it was from her. He knew with as official as the datapad looked, it wasn't.

It had been five months. He had tried to send a note to her and there was no response. He kept trying for a month. At the two month mark he met up with Liara for drinks on Ilium. She listened as he went through the whole "it was just one night" and "he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up." The sly asari let him go through the whole thing before she finally slid a datapad overtime with a smile. It had letters from Shepherd to him. One a day for each day they had been apart. 

When he looked at Liara she smiled. "I'm a very good Shadow Broker. You can't send messages back, but for now, I can get messages out. I may be able to get one thing to her, if you want to risk it."

Instead of words, Garrus had opted to have a gift sent to her. A small vial of sandalwood oil and a copy of Fleet and Flotilla. When Liara kept pressing him for a written letter to give Shepard he finally held up his hand and laughed. "T'soni. She'll get my meaning." 

Unfortunately the correspondence stopped at the third month. He had started counting the days until he heard from her again. It bothered him on several levels. He didn't know how she was, what she was doing, or what was going on with her. That was the first problem. The second issue was his own ego. Part of him, that teenage awkward geek in him, still felt like it had been just an extended one night stand. That it was all about blowing off steam. He hoped it wasn't. Wanted to believe it wasn't. 

He went to his office at the Turian Hierarchy and told an assistant he had been assigned to not bother him unless the Reapers themselves were at the door. Sitting down at his desk he ran a talon over the screen, watching it flicker, and a series of locked messages pop up. The top message was unlocked and had a name he recognized. Anderson.

His heart sank. He didn't like not hearing from her, but for the next correspondence to be like this, and from Anderson? Not something he wanted to see.

He took a breath and opened the first note. 

"Vakarian. I don't have a lot of room to move with this. She's fine. Hackett and I have talked the Alliance into allowing her to be a counselor of sorts. An advisor on the Reapers. If things go sideways Garrus, I'll do what I can to keep her safe and in one piece. I managed to get a few notes from her. They are scanned and in the locked files. I thought it may make this easier on you. I've been where you are. One day ask me about a woman named Kahlee. The passcodes to the five notes are based on dates. Shepard said they correspond to five important dates you two share. She said you would know. WIth that. Anderson out. And Vakerian? Stay alive….for her sake."

Garrus smiled. He knew the dates immediately. Two of them were their birthdates. Easy enough. The third was the date he joined her crew. The fourth was the date they took down Saren. The fifth, that one was very personal. The date they blew of steam. 

He began reading the letters. Most of them were quick I miss you letters. Then he got to one that caught his eye.

"I look out the window of this apartment they have me in. All i can think is that the worst thing about this is never getting to see you again. Never having another beer with you. Never waking up to you. Never cleaning guns together. Never… well never. A career in the military and at a time like this, with the Reapers coming, all I can think about is telling you the things that need to be said face to face. Garrus I…."

It cut off. It made no sense. Garrus stood and left his office. He sent out a dispatch to find that courier. The soldier was brought back to him quickly enough. 

"This datapad. Where did you get it?" The soldier looked scared but answered.

"It was in a stack of items that left with the evac. It was marked for you, sir." 

Garrus was confused. He turned and looked at the assistant. "Earth was attacked Garrus. Two days ago. Didn't you know?"

Garrus felt his heart drop, his blood pressure rise, and at that point his world go numb.


	5. When it Rains it Pours

Shepard moved through the corridors of the Normandy. She was pissed, had no idea where she was actually going, and honestly just need to get it out of her system. Before she knew it she was standing at the main battery. The doors slid shut behind her and her back hit the wall. She slid down to the floor and just sat there for a moment. He wasn't there. Was he anywhere? Was he on Palaven watching the vids from Earth wondering if she was there? 

She took a deep breath. "Pull yourself together. Mars. You have to go to Mars. Get that sorted, figure the rest of it out, and…"

Her thoughts were caught off by the door opening. She looked up to see Kaidan standing in the entryway. Funny, weren't they in this position once before she thought to herself. She looked up at him as he slowly moved to her and knelt down to her level. 

"You okay Shepard?" His voice was sincere enough. She was sure he was really concerned. The problem was all she could see was Horizon. All she could hear was the anger and hurt. All she could see is him trying to make something better that was already shattered.

She nodded at him and started to go with the standard I'm okay speech. On a whim she decided to just be herself and be honest. Something she actually rarely did when they were together because she was always handling his emotional response to everything. 

"Kaidan, i have spent the last six months locked up in a nicely decorated cage. I haven't been able to go shower without being watched or listened to for fear of what I may do. I haven't been able to stay in contact with any friends, my mother, or with….well anyone. Earth came to a crashing hault around us today. Less than three hours ago I was standing before the Alliance board and now I'm on the Normandy. I've been reinstated into a nightmare and frankly you were on the station for 6 months right there with me and never asked how the fuck I was doing. So, shitty. Just. Yeah, shitty covers it Kaidan."

Kaidan stood up and blinked a bit. He had heard her be that blunt with others, but never with him. 

"Shepard I…" He started to speak and frankly she didn't care. He had had a year to speak to her from the moment they reunited on Horizon until she took the collector base. He had 6 months to speak to her anytime he wanted while she was being held for questioning. The fact that he decided now was a good time made her sick.

She was about to rip into him when Joker came over the coms. "Commander, we're approaching Mars. ETA 10 minutes."

Shepard allowed Joker to be her voice right now. She pushed past Kaidan and began the walk to her quarters to gear up. Ten minutes later she was boarding the shuttle to Mars wondering how she would get everyone through this mess.

Mars turned out to be better than expected for Shepard. She was reunited with Liara, found out there was some sort of device that could be the answer they needed, and she got back into action. It was awful for her in other ways. Kaidan had spent half the damn time accusing her over and over like a jealous boyfriend. Which, she supposed he was in a way. Her last words to him had been to eff off and get over it. Either he trusted her or didn't. A few moments later he was being slammed against a shuttle at full force, bones breaking, and all she could do was stop the thing that did it. 

They got him back to the Normandy and stabilized. He wasn't awake, but at least he wasn't dead. Joker haad them headed to the CItadel as fast as he could get them there. 

Shepard had decided to take the downtime and get her thoughts together. She was sitting in the starboard lounge when Liara came in.

Liara put her hand on Shepards shoulder as she walked by and took a seat on one of the loungers. 

"I'd ask how you are, but I know the answer. What happened to Kaidan. Shepard that wasn't your fault." 

Shepard looked up and at Liara. She sighed, leaned back, and crossed one leg over her other knee. "Liara, I know that. The commander in me is thankful he may be okay. Kaidan is a good soldier and we need as many of those we can get in this war."

"But?"

"I hate that you know me so well." Shepard smirked. 

"It's my job as a friend. Now, what's the issue?" Liara took a sip of some tea while she watched her friend for a response.

"The civilian side of me would have been relieved. Oh, man. That sounds worse coming out of my mouth. I feel horrible." Shepard dropped her had down looking at her boots. 

Liara smiled and shook her head. "The differences between my people and yours are staggering at times like this. Shepard it is natural to have that feeling. You were with him for two years. You die and are gone for two years. You reunite with him and instead of being understandably shocked he rips into you. He acts as if you are the one to blame. That you did it as some elaborate way to break it off with him." She took a breath and stood to make more tea.

Shepard leaned back. "How did you know that? You weren't there."

Liara turned and eyed her with a smirk. "THe Shadow Broker has eyes everywhere."

Shepard nodded as Liara continued. "He ripped your heart out, accused you of treason, and then just walked off. You lost him twice in effect. He comes back and says sorry. You don't have to accept that Shepard. Then when you meet up again he is still accusing you. Of course it would be a relief. The pain would be over."

"Liara it was brutal. The fact that it happened in front of crew members. It was devastating. How could I go back to him after that?"

Liara nodded. "Do you feel guilty? That the pain with Kaidan lead you to the peace with Garrus? Do you feel guilty that you found some sort of happiness?"

Shepard winced. "Guilty? No, not guilty. God. Garrus. Liara I don't even know if he is okay. If he feels the same. If he…"

Liara laughed a bit. "Shepard, Garrus adores you. He is more devoted to you than anyone I've ever known. He even turned down…" She stopped realizing she had said too much. 

Shepard perked up. "Turned down what?"

"I was watching some feeds from Palaven. He was invited out several times. He would go, have a decent time with the other soldiers. If a female asked him out, he would always say he was taken. He would thank them. He would be polite. But always said he was taken. Shepard, he is devoted. He even ordered videos on human customs. Didn't you get his letters?" Liara stood to put her cup in the small sink of the lounge. When she turned she realized that Shepard had no idea.

"No, they wouldn't let me get any correspondance. Liara could you.." They were caught off by Joker's voice. 

"Commander? We are about to dock with the Citadel. And Shepard? Palaven is under attack. It started this morning. I've got coms open. I'm….trying to find...well yeah." Joker sounded uncomfortable. He looked at Shepard as a mix of a best friend and older sister. He just wanted to make it better for her somehow. 

Shepard looked at Liara and they both rushed out to suit up for docking, getting Kaidan to the hospital, and speaking to the council.


	6. Wasted Chances

Garrus was sitting in a bunker, sniper rifle draped over his legs, and his head laid back resting against the wall. They had been fighting all day, all night the night before, and probably days before that. The days were running into the next. General Victus was held up in the bunker with him along with two other soldiers. It was Victus who broke the silence.

"Who is she?" it was a simple question. Personal too. It was also the kind of question a General asks when he is trying to not think about the loss of life or the choices he will have to make. Ruthless calculus. 

Any other time Garrus would have brushed it off, but at this point why not be honest. "We were friends for years. About a year ago, we… well we blew off some steam together. "

Victus kept his eyes shut and his head leaned against the all behind him mirroring Garrus. Victus took a breath and stretched out a leg. "Ever tell her how you feel?"

Garrus sighed and moved a finger over his sniper rifle absently. "No, I wanted to. Time and again. Something always got in the way. Fuck it. Honestly I can fight through reapears. I can take out anything and take on anything. I fought through the slums of Omega, took down a collector base, and never blinked. Telling her how I feel not knowing how she feels? I'd rather cut my eyes out than face that rejection. Stupid huh?"

Victus laughed and stood stretching. He looked out the small slits in the bunker to see what was going on outside. "Twenty-five years ago I was brought into a makeshift hospital. I had been injured, leg cut open by an angry Krogan that blamed me for the genophage because you know...Turian."

Garrus had opened his eyes and was listening as he allowed a small smile to creep along his face. Victus continued his story. 

"There was a nurse there. She had the bedside manner of a vorcha. She was mending my leg and I tried to flirt with her. She was having none of it. We became friends. She was always there with the med units when we fought. One day I asked her out. Finally. She told me that she could never go out with a Turian that couldn't even tell her he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her."

Garrus looked at Victus puzzled. "Had you ever gone that route with her?"

Victus laughed. "Spirits no. I was, what do the humans call it? Too much of a pussy to do that. When she said that to me, I finally took the risk and told her how I felt. She took four days to return the favor."

Garrus smiled. "So, what happened to the nurse?"

Victus moved his collar and showed the top of a bond mark. "She even marked me first. The only thing I've ever submitted to. And Vakarian? It was the best thing I ever did. If you get the chance, don't waste it again."

Garrus was about to respond when an alarm went off. The coms opened and a voice spoke into Victus' earbud. 

"Vakarian? There's an Alliance shuttle landing at the main bunker point. Get up there and find out what's going on."

Garrus stood and moved to the door. They opened the bunker and began firing. The other two soldiers tried following Victus but kept getting hit by husks. 

"Get those things the hell of my men!" Victus shouted over his soldier. 

Garrus took out the husks and fought his way through before heading to the main bunker.

It took him about half an hour to get there. As he walked up he heard her voice. He stopped and took it in for a minute, took her in. She looked amazing. Her hair looked like black silk. It was pulled back like she normally kept it. He hoped for a moment that he would be able to run his talons through it again. He shook himself out of it when he heard a crash nearby. 

"I'm on it Shepard. We'll find the primarch for you."

She turned and her eyes said everything he hoped they would. Relief. "Garrus! You're alive. What are you doing here? I'd thought you'd be on Palavan."

He reached his hand out to shake hers. "I'm hard to kill. You should know that." As he took her hand he cupped his other over hers and looked her in the eye. Their eyes locked for a minute before he pulled back. 

They took a few minutes to try and locate the primarch. Once they battled through and found Victus, Shepard did her magic. Convincing him to help. When she asked Garrus if he was with her, he almost laughed. Of course he was. 

They boarded the shuttle to the Normandy and settled in. Cortez announced it would be an ETA of 1 hour to the Normandy. Shepard stood and moved to the back area of the shuttle. Garrus slowly followed her.

They both knew they didn't have real privacy on this small shuttle, but it didn't matter. Garrus took a seat on the shuttle floor across from Shepard. The sat in silence for a few moments as Cortez got the shuttle stabilized and out of the atmosphere. 

Garrus cleared his throat and glanced back into the main area of the shuttle. Victus had his head leaned back likely contemplating everything that had just happened. Vega was standing near Cortez talking in a hushed voice. 

"I saw the vids of Earth. Spirits Shepard. My first thought was just getting off Palaven to get to you. Then we got hit. I was in a transport shuttle when the Reapers landed. The shuttle was rerouted to Menae, and now you know." He finished on an almost whisper and looked up at her. He didn't really know what he expected her to say.

She looked at him and shook her head. "I thought you were dead. I saw that blaze of orange. My only thought was to find you, one way or another."

They both smiled and began laughing. Garrus was the first to say the truth. "We are terrible people. Here it is. The end of the world out there and we only care about one other soul. What does that say about us?"

Shepard had opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by the Primarch.

"It says you two should save it for a private room!"

The both blushed, well as much as Garrus could, and smiled."

They spent the rest of the trip to the Normandy talking about the past few months, filling each other in, and trying to act like nothing had changed. Which, for them, it hadn't.


	7. Soldiers will be soldiers

The second Shepard's boot hit the shuttle bay her com system went off. "Commander!?! Something's going on with EDI. Everything is going offline and she has gone offline." Shepard turned to Victus. She still had to get him settled in suitable quarters. Luckily Cortez saw the look on her face. 

"I've got this Commander." Cortez smiled and nodded towards the Primarch. "Primarch, I'm Steve Cortez. I'll show you to your quarters." He was already leading Victus out before Shepard could say another word.

"What do you mean offline? Where is the source Joker?" She had one hand up to her ear comm trying to hear Joker over the roar of the shuttle bay. Her other hand reached out and softly glided across the turian walking past her. She turned to him and just nodded to her. 

"I'll be in the main battery. Go take care of it." Garrus whispered in that low rumble she had grown so accustom to over the years. She simply nodded and mouthed a thank you to him..

She wanted to have some time. Time to talk to him. Time to really have a few minutes alone. The shuttle ride back had been more of a catching up. Nothing about them was really discussed, if there even was a them. She shook that last thought off and headed to the source of EDI's meltdown.

A few minutes later a walking talking robot EDI left the medical bay area and headed back to the cockpit. Shepard smirked and shook her head. She made a few stops to check in with everyone. She could say it was to make sure everyone had what they needed, but the truth was it was to make sure she would have a few minutes alone with Garrus. 

The stop before the main battery was to check on the new Primarch. He was in guest quarters that were set up for diplomats. He had everything he needed, including a small kitchen if he wanted to use it. She knocked and heard him yell out an "enter." She had to smirk a bit at what she saw. His military jacket was off and tossed over a chair in a lump. Datapads were thrown all over. Each of them glittering with everything from battle maps to incoming messages and news feeds. He had turian coffee brewing in the pot. 

He was flicking over one of the datapads when she noticed smoke trailing from behind him. She knew turians smoked, she even saw Garrus do it once or twice, but it was still odd to see. 

Victus looked up from the data pad, tossed it, and threw himself down in a chair. His hand motioned to a chair across from him. "Have a seat Commander."

She smiled and took a seat. "I came to make sure you were settled in and had what you needed. I didn't expect to find this."

He looked embarrassed and went to clean up some of the data pads. She reached out shaking her hand and laughing a bit. "No, no. I just mean I remember being where you are. Being handed the keys to a falling apart kingdom and told to fix it when just the previous day I was a soldier like everyone else. Suddenly, I was the one people were looking to for the answers and I couldn't even make a cup of coffee right."

He smirked a bit and seemed to relax. He sat back and grabbed the ashtray and smoke along with a cup of coffee. He held one out to her, but she shook her head. 

"I don't know what to do with all this to be honest Shepard. I'm a soldier, not a diplomat. My planet is being invaded. My people are dying by the hundreds of thousands, and all I can do is look over datapads and hope this horse and pony show with the other representatives goes like we need it to. If we don't have Krogan support we are very literally fucked." He sighed and shook his head.

"I can relate. I have to host that horse and pony show remember. Everytime I put on that dress uniform all I see is the girl that likes jeans, techno music, and the bar." She shook her head not believing she just revealed that to a Primarch. Hell, to her he was a soldier just like her. Just with a bit more responsibility now.

He nodded. "I know what you mean. They want you to be respectable when all you want to do is shoot them or punch them."

They both shared a laugh. It was Victus that broke the laughter. "Garrus seemed pleased to see you."

She looked up at him and nodded. "Yes, he is a hell of a soldier. Good friend too."

Victus nodded and smirked. "He talked about you. Thought about you more. Oh, don't panic. He didn't say your name. When I saw him with you, I knew you were the one he had mentioned. May I ask something personal?"

Shepard nodded. 

"Did you miss him?" Victus let the question fall where it would. She knew it was more than just a simple inquiry. She decided to simply be honest.

"Yes, he was the only thing keeping me going to be honest with you." Well, that was a little more honest than she was going for. 

"Good. I'd hate to see a good soldier like him let down. Especially during this war. We all need something to look forward to. Just take some advice Shepard. Don't hold back waiting for the right time or moment. Don't let it slip through your fingers. The last thing you want is to be on that battlefield with bullets all around wishing you had said something or done more."

Shepard stood up and nodded. She really didn't know what to say. That is until her mouth took over. "Sounds like experience talking Primarch."

Victus stood up and grabbed a holo frame from his bag. It was of him and a turian female. He handed it to Shepard. "My bondmate, Eliza. I almost let her slip through my fingers. Even though it is painful not being with her, not knowing if she is okay, not knowing...anything really I'd rather have this pain with the hope of seeing her soon than sitting in this room wishing I had said something."

Shepard handed the frame back to him. "Thank you Primarch."

"Adrian. My name is Adrian."

"Adrian. Thank you. You can call me Jane."

They shook hands and she turned to leave. Victus stopped her.

"One more question. A statement really. I'm not sure who Alenko is, but his name and some information Garrus was told about him seemed to unsettle Garrus. I thought you should know."

Shepard nodded curtly. "Thank you Adrian. Let me know if you need anything. I'll notify you with an updated ETA on the diplomatic meeting."

Shepard stood in the lift heading to the main battery. Shit. She was hoping Alenko wouldn't still be a looming issue. They had never talked about. Garrus was standing there on Horizon when it all went sideways. He saw the hurt on her face. Hell, Jack was with them. She didn't even know Kaidan and wanted to throat punch him. Garrus hadn't talked to her about. He just showed up at her quarters that night with pizza and some beer. It was never mentioned. It was exactly what she needed. Spirits she hoped she could fix this mess somehow. 

She stopped quickly and took a detour to see Liara. Maybe she needed to talk it out before seeing Garrus.


	8. Old Feelings and Getting Cozy

Garrus walked to the cockpit and leaned on the small wall next to Joker. Nothing was said for a few minutes as Garrus stared at the new body EDI was sporting. Joker was the first to speak.

"I swear I didn't know she was doing this. You believe me right? Come on big guy. Someone has to believe me." 

Garrus laughed a bit and shrugged. "I believe you Joker. I've played poker with you. There's no way you could keep this under wraps."

"Thank you! My point...wait...I don't have a poker face?" 

Garrus just shook his head and chuckled. It didn't take long for updates to be given on all the crew members. Joker filled him in on what had been happening from his perspective and how Shepard had been doing. Eventually Joker got to Kaidan. 

"Yeah, James said it was pretty brutal. Apparently Major Asshat...sorry Alenko… spent the entire time on Mars confronting Shepard. Just really going at her. She couldn't blink without him saying something about Cerberus. She laid into him good though and told him to piss off about it. Trust her or not, but she was done."

Garrus was nodding and listening. He couldn't believe the balls on that guy. Totally berates Jane in front of her crewmates. Accuses her of everything from betrayal to not even being real. Then writes her a letter of the oh I'm sorry I'm a dick variety. He didn't know what all was said, but he could imagine. Now, he was back and accusing her again. He never let up.

"Wait, James told you all this? Joker? You know how Jane feels about you listening in on her coms." 

"Protection only. I just wanted to make sure we could get a shuttle in if we needed to. Besides, the coms kept going in and out. I only caught bits and pieces. The juicy ones."

"Uh-huh. What else did you happen to catch?" Joker pretended to be shocked. Just as he was about to say something Liara came across the com. 

"Has he told you about Kaidan getting hurt yet?" 

Garrus replied. "No, why? What was hurt on him besides his ego?"

Joker cut in. "Hey! Liara was listening in and no one is getting on her about it?!? What the hell?"

Liara cut in. "I'd let it go Joker. I know what you watch at night."

Garrus laughed and began to leave the cockpit as he queued in a private channel between himself and Liara. He could hear Joker spewing something about abuse of power as he entered the lift heading to the crew deck.

Liara continued talking to Garrus. "Kaidan was hurt badly. We had to rush him to the Citadel before we came to Palaven. It really threw Shepard. She was upset and stayed by him for most of the trip. I had to convince her to snap out of it. Oh, Goddess. Garrus I was thinking. I didn't mean it...not like...not like that."

Garrus was quiet as he entered the main battery, shut, and locked the door. He sat down on his makeshift bunk and stayed silent for a minute. He wasn't going to say anything and finally he spoke. 

"It's fine Liara. He was eventually going to step back in. I'm, um, sorry he was injured. I'm sure Jane will go visit him when we go back to the Citadel again. She's good like that."

There was a long pause and Liara finally spoke. "On one of the few occasions I was able to get a feed through and watch her while she was on lockdown, I caught her at a personal time. I almost stopped watching the feed, but she looked so sad Garrus. She was holding a necklace and a very small frame. I zoomed in on the frame. It was a picture of you. I'm not sure where she got it or who took it. You were sitting on a balcony, in civilian clothes."

Garrus sat staring, trying to remember the picture. Then, it hit him. "It was on Omega. The last night we had together. She snapped it before I could stop her. She said I looked at peace."

His voice sounded so sad. "Garrus, the look on her face was totally different than the one she had with Kaidan. With Kaidan it was the possibility of losing a soldier. With you…." Her voice trailed off. There was a long pause.

"Garrus."

"I'm fine Liara. Really. If I throw down some rugs in here it would be downright cozy. I'll be fine."


	9. The Things You See

"Garrus." Liara said his name as she stood in front of her computer system. Jane had walked in during their conversation. She didn't mean to. It just happened.

"I'm find Liara. If I throw down some rugs it will be downright cozy." Garrus sounded sad. Shepard wasn't sure if it was about his planet, the war, or Kaidan. 

Liara turned off the channel and turned to Shepard. The two talked for a moment and caught up on what was going on. 

"What is it Jane? What's bothering you?" Liara was genuinely concerned about her friend. Both of her friends really.

"I heard Garrus was informed about Kaidan. I haven't talked to him yet. Either of them. I don't even know how to go about talking to either of them about ...well them. " Jane sat down on the end of Liara's bed. Liara had to admit she had only seen Shepard like this a few times. 

Liara took a deep breath and decided to handle this in the only way she knew how. She turned and flipped on two screens. She paused them before the video feeds started playing. 

"I have a simple question for you. Which one do you want? Which one is the one that could see being with after this war? Don't think about the what if's. Think about if the war was over and we win." Liara spoke softly and gently, but the meaning came across fully.

Shepard sat there looking at her. "Can I speak honestly, and it stay between us?"

Liara nodded. 

"I never thought Kaidan would ever be in my life again. He had hurt me so bad on Horizon. His letter, though heartfelt, didn't change anything really. The life I had with him. The way things were. If I could have all that again. Well, it would be tempting. Then there is Garrus. He has always been there. Always. Ready to walk into hell with me. He isn't as romantic and emotional as Kaidan. It's different. He is intense on a whole different level. It's intense yet peaceful."

Shepard paused for a minute. She took a deep breath and thought over her next words carefully. She stood, pulling at her bottom lip as she paced.

"There was always a simple future with Kaidan. There was always a simple truth that he would be there for me. That he wanted me, but there was the doubt there that what he loved and what he wanted was actually what he had created. His view of me and the real me were different. With Garrus, I'm worried about what there will be with no more war. When the bullets stop flying, what will happen? Will he still love me and want me when I put up my uniform."

Liara hadn't expected such blunt honesty, but the truth was it was what everyone who knew and loved Shepard had been thinking. Her doubts made sense. 

"Before you go speak to Garrus, because I know you are, I want to show you something. Call it selfish. I want you to see behind the scenes. Is it an abuse of my shadow broker status? Perhaps a little, but I want to see my friends happy."

Liara turned and played the first screen. The image started playing of Kaidan. It was a few months ago. He was talking to his mom during, what looked like, a family dinner of some kind. His mom asked him how Shepard was doing. Jane braced herself for the full on emotion and miss her sentiment that was always in his letters. Instead all he said was that she was fine and he kept on talking about himself. There was no real emotion. He spoke about her like you would speak about the weather.

Liara flipped it off and flipped on the other screen. It was Garrus. He was in his families home, Jane assumed, and was leaning against a kitchen sink. His sister was at the table and his father was leaning on the opposite side of the kitchen against a countertop. 

Garrus' father shook his head. "I just don't see where there is a future with a human Garrus. You've always travelled off the beaten path, but this? Explain it to me."

Garrus looked irritated. He let out an aggravated sigh and looked at his sister. "Sol, come on, help me out here."

Sol smiled. "Dad, I've watched videos of her. She's really pretty for a human. She seems really nice."

Garrus' father shook his head. "Everyone has seen videos of her. I'm not concerned with her looks. Looks fade, unless you are an asari. I'm concerned with your brother. Garrus, what does she know of us? What could she see in you? What future do you two even have? Have you thought of that?"

Garrus shook his head and walked over to a duffle bag. He ripped it open and grabbed out a datapad. Tossing it on the table in front of his dad. Sol leaned over and her eyes grew wide.

"Garrus? Is this what I think it is?" His father was in a bit of shock. He was looking at a purchase agreement for land. It was a home with a private gun range, lake, and an environment that both Shepard and Garrus could live on easily.

"What? Mom left me the money for my future. Shepard is my future. When the alliance releases her, I'm going to be the first one there. I'll be outside the room to take her with me. This is part of that. So, yeah. You could say I have a plan dad."

"And what of bondmarks? What of family markings? Children? You need a lineage Garrus." Sol shook her head. She knew what her dad was trying to say, but he always had a way of making it sound like Garrus couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time. 

Usually Garrus just walked away in a huff, but not this time. He stood his ground. "Well, I haven't talked about bondmarks with her. I've seen her tear into a rare steak before so I figure my neck won't be an issue. Family markings? Well, she has asked about them before and I've seen her wear makeup when necessary. I figure she will be okay with a little face paint. Children? Krogan have gone centuries with very few children and even adopting or marrying asari and they seem fucking fine. So, there you go dad. Anything else about the woman I am betting on or can we move on now?"

Shepards eyes were huge. She had never heard Garrus be that protective of her or anything other than a sniper rifle. He looked mad, but she had to say she was proud of him for holding his ground. 

Garrus' father smiled and walked to his son. He hugged him roughly. "Well, then. I need to give this Commander of yours a handshake at the very least. She finally brought the son I knew was there out."

Liara turned it off and Shepard looked at her.

"I just wanted you to see that before you talked to Garrus or Kaidan."

Liara smiled as Shepard stood up and made her way to the main battery.

"Goddess let them work this out." Liara said softly as the door shut behind Shepard.


	10. Protcols and Reunions

The main battery door slid open and closed behind Shepard. She could hear Garrus and his low rumbling voice. She let her eyes fall to the makeshift bunk he had. A military duffle bag sat neatly underneath next to a personal bag. His visor was laying on the bunk. She could hear a soft sound of music coming from it. She turned when she heard him tell the Primarch he was seeing the same data as Adrian regarding the battle.

Shepard walked to the right of the battery and noticed a sniper rifle on the workbench. From the looks of it, Garrus had been cleaning it and was letting some lubricant set on the pieces before assembling it. She stepped down into the battery area and saw Garrus leaned over looking at the mechanics.

He turned off the coms and turned to face her. In the light of the battery she could make out his scars more so than on Palavens moon. They were healing nicely, but at this point what was there is what would likely be there for the rest of his life. He looked tired. 

"So, is this where we...shake hands? Wasn't sure on the protocol for reunions. My scars are fading. I remember they drove you wild. I can go out and get all new ones if that would help."

He played off with the humor, but Shepard knew him well enough to know that deep down he was still that nerdy kid that never thought he would get the girl. She smiled and laughed at his joke about getting new scars. 

She heard Victus in her head reminding her not to let the chance slip through her fingers. In that moment, she remembered so much. She remembered the video she just saw of Garrus vs Kaidan. She remembered laughing with Garrus the night of Horizon. Watching the game, drinking beers, and just relaxing. She remembered their first night together. He just wanted things to go right. She remembered their last night together when he left her with the wings she still wore around her neck. All those memories happened in a flash. 

She smiled and leaned forward. Her hand touching his scars and her lips meeting his. She felt his hands meet her hips and draw her into him. She felt his hands tremble a bit then grip her. The kiss was soft, but intense. She pulled back first and smiled at him. He looked relieved.

"That's the protocol on reunions."

He smiled at her and took her hands in his. Most men would have told her they loved her or gushed over her a bit. Garrus didn't. He said everything he needed to in his next words. 

"The video mentioned it might go something like that. I had hoped it would, I mean, i didn't know…"  
He trailed off. Her heart was nearly beating out of her chest. He had hoped. Hoped this would happen. 

"I missed you Garrus. I thought about you a lot."  
He smiled. "I'm glad to know my romantic skills made an impression. Nothing is going to come between this cross species liaison."

"Speaking of which. You're the expert on reaper forces now?"

They talked about his new position, his family still on the planet, and more. She knew where her heart was. She knew how he felt. Now, she just had to make sure Kaidan understood too.


	11. Summits and Waterfalls

Shepard stood in front of the mirror in her quarters. Her hands were smoothing over her dress uniform when she heard the door to her quarters open. There were only two people on board who would just come in. Garrus or Liara. It only took a breath before she realized who it was. She stepped out to find Garrus placing a stack of datapads on her desk. He turned an smirked at her.

She playfully rolled her eyes and smoothed the bottom of her jacket hem down. "I always feel like I'm playing dress up in these things."

She walked to the desk and began to reach for the stack of datapads. Garrus moved quickly and took her hand away from the pads. He brought her fingers to his mouth and kissed them gently. 

"No, no. Leave those for now. You've got a big meeting, then a trip to the Citadel, then back here for a meeting with the Primarch, and…"

She began chuckling as her hands moved to his chest and his hands moved to her waist. 

"What are you my secretary?" He touched his forehead to hers and let his hands play on her waist. 

"Agenda specialist. It sounds more official." 

She smiled just as Joker came over the intercom in her quarters. "ETA to the meeting 10 minutes Shepard. Start playing pretty."

Garrus piped in without thinking. "Who says she is playing."

Joker laughed. "Whoa hey big guy. Yeah, so this is awkward. I'll just…"

They heard a scratching and the coms went silent. Garrus kissed the top of Shepards head and rubbed her shoulders before stepping back. He moved to the sofa and sprawled out with a datapad in his hand. 

"Go get em tiger." The smirk could be heard in his voice.

Shepherd crossed her arms and stared at him. "You do know how hellish this will be right? I have the Primarch, the Salarian Dalatrass, and Wrex all in one room. I'm leading the negotiating and I don't even know what it is I have in my deck to work with. Come on. Go with me?"

Garrus laughed and shook his head no. "Maybe later. I have calibrations."

"On a datapad?"

The only response she got was a nod and chuckling. She shook her head and went for the door.

"Keep it up big guy. We will see what happens to that chuckle when I get back from this meeting." 

As the lift showed up Garrus smiled at her. "Aww, that's so cute. You think you're coming back from this summit. And here I thought we all but lost our optimism."

She rolled her eyes and stepped into the lift headed for the CIC.

She could hear the debating as she walked toward the conference room. She took a deep breath and stepped in just in time to hear Wrex. After a few minutes of debate the proverable bomb was dropped. Not only did some of the females survive Maelon's research and barbaric testing, but they were also immune to the Genophage and being kept on Sur'kesh. Holy shit. If she could have fallen back in a chair she would've.

She took a stand for Wrex and agreed they needed to go get the females asap. By the time she made it back to her quarters to change into her gear for the recon to Sur'kesh she was seething. Garrus was right where she left him. On the sofa, legs crossed at the ankles, reading a datapad. 

"I didn't hear gunfire so I'm assuming things went well? Wait, what's going on? Jane?" He was standing up and already halfway across the room when she tossed her dress uniform to the ground and grabbed her undershirt for her armor. He touched her arm and all it took was one glare. He knew. He didn't ask anything else. He didn't even blink. He patted her arm, walked out, and came back about fifteen minutes later dressed and ready to go. Sniper rifle in hand, pistol ready, gear ready to go.

She heard his voice as he came back into the quarters. "Joker, ETA on our arrival."

Joker came back over, "20 minutes until we reach Sur'kesh."

Garrus nodded to no one really. "Thanks Joker. Let me know at 5 minutes out."

Garrus switched off the com and turned it to vibrate. Shepard turned smiling at him. She was geared up and ready to go as well. "Wow, Vakarian. I didn't have to say a word."

Garrus scratched his forehead as he smirked. "Yeah, well you might want to tell me what hell I'm walking into. What's going on with Sur'kesh?"

Shepard paused and contacted Liara to let her know she wanted her along on this one. She waited for her to show up and filled them both in at the same time. They both looked shocked, but Garrus broke the silence first. 

"Unbelievable. I can't imagine what Wrex is going through. The only reason they could possibly be keeping the females is to prevent any chance of a cure." Liara was nodding.

"It has to be. Shepard I searched through everything I had after Maelon and nothing came up. This is very locked down. Do you actually know what we are walking into?" Liara was in her professional role at this point. Shepard liked her like this. It would keep her grounded. It also tended to bring up questions that Shepard may have thought of, but needed to hear someone else say as well.

Garrus nodded. "It is odd Shepard. I don't buy it will be this easy. Waltz in, get the females, waltz back out again."

Shepard nodded to both of them and stood up. "Okay, everyone stay on guard. Play nice. We will get the females one way or another and get out. Let's go get Wrex."

An hour later they found themselves waiting to be admitted into the female holding area. Liara was talking to Kirahee. Wrex was being held by security. Shepard had walked over to a balcony overlooking a waterfall. It struck her how much the landscape reminded her of a mix of Aztec and Egyptian. It was beautiful and at any other time it would have been peaceful. 

She felt a hand on her back and the warmth of Garrus move in next to her. He leaned on his arms on the balcony. "It's an inspiring view. Maybe when all this is over we can come back for a vacation. What do you think?"

Shepard smiled. "That sounds nice. Find a little cove down there where no one has demands. Where no one is in pain. Where no one is in misery. Where we can be us."

Garrus rubbed her back and turned to see if anyone was looking their way. He didn't want to break professionalism and at the same time he didn't give a fuck if he did. He did care about Shepard though and what it would do to her. He let his glance move over to Wrex. He had to feel for the guy. 

Shepard let her hand touch his waist. She tipped her chin up towards Wrex. "I can't imagine what he is going through right now."

Garrus nodded. "Indeed. If it were you in there, I'd be ripping apart the Spirits gates if I had to to get to you. I damn sure wouldn't be sitting there so calm with security on either side of me."

Jane was a bit in shock at Garrus' words. If it were her back there. Those words lingered for a minute. She was snapped out of it when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Garrus leaned into her ear and whispered in that husky voice of his. "I'll always find you and you fight for you Jane. That's what Archangels do. Come on, their ready for us." He let his talon catch on the chain to the necklace he had given her what seemed a lifetime ago that night on Omega. He lifted it and let it go as he walked towards the lift.


	12. Security Measures and Interuptions

"The shrapnel managed to be deflected by the armor, but I still am grounding you for a few days. You have been taking a hammering and we still don't know what long term effects those implants may have on your overall."

Shepard sat on the edge of the exam table with her legs dangling. She knew arguing with Karen would get her nowhere. Besides, with the unfolding of information on Sur'kesh she would need to focus on the diplomatic side of things for a bit. 

"Is that all?" It was all she could think to say so she could leave. She heard no verbal response, but she did hear a the door lock engage. The room was soundproof anyway, but the lock was a final privacy measure. Shepard looked up at Karen, watching her sit down and lean back in her chair, hands folded over her stomach.

"Commander, I'm speaking as a friend and a doctor. You are under far too much stress. Yes, I know what you are dealing with, but you still need to find downtime. Say no to some things. Hackett is under some impression that you are the only one capable of handling every cat up a tree in the galaxy while still saving the same said galaxy and handling everything that comes across his desk. Tell him you will handle it then send another team out. James is more than capable of handling some of the minor missions. It will build him back up and give him confidence again. Give some of the diplomatic duties to Liara. Let her deal with the minor issues like meetings and correspondence. Spend some time with Garrus. Let him be your protector for awhile. I'm sure he can...you know what?"

Jane looked up at Karen as the doctor stood up. "Karen?!? Karen what are you...where are you going?"

Jane quickly began following Karen, who was moving at a determined and brisk pace to the main battery. She left after Karen so fast she didn't slip back on her boots or her jacket. There she was the great Commander Shepard chasing after a doctor, through the mess hall, in her tank top and fatigue bottoms...barefoot. Lovely.

The doors to the main battery opened and Garrus looked up from his calibrations. He looked behind Chakwas to Jane. An amused look crossed his face. He turned and crossed his arms, leaning on the console. 

"To what do I owe this intrusion? Has she been a bad girl? Do we need to hold her down to take her medicine?" The amusement could be heard throughout the room. Shepard wasn't amused. She was standing barefoot in the doorway, arms crossed, lips pursed, hair in a messy bun that was dangling just over her shoulders with black strands seeping out of the hair tie. Garrus had to resist the urge to push the good doctor from the room and show Jane just how much he had missed her. 

Chakwas smiled at Garrus. "Garrus, I'm giving you some new duties. Namely, her." She pointed at Jane making Jane's jaw drop and her finger point at herself. 

"Me?!?"

"Yes, Commander. You." Karen turned to Garrus.

"Garrus, the Commander is to have at least 4 hours a day of undisturbed time. Liara will be handling the correspondence and basic diplomatic duties. James will be leading teams to smaller missions requested by Hackett. The commander is to only handle negotiations and issues on the Citadel dealing with this war and her directly. You are to make sure she rests, takes time for herself, and handles only the issues that must deal with her. Do you understand? Also, you need to be with her 24/7 to ensure of this. That's a medical order Vakarian."

Garrus was chuckling at this point and nodding. He couldn't get a word in over his own laughter. Then he heard the last order and processed it. He stopped laughing and looked at Karen a bit shocked and then to Shepard who was now smirking at him. 

"You were saying big guy?" 

Garrus looked back at Karen. Karen just smiled. "Oh don't look so surprised. Everyone knows. Bets are being taken on you two for heaven sake. Now, I'm going back to the clinic. Shepard come clear your things from my floor would you?"

Karen was gone as quickly as she had come in, leaving the couple staring at each other in the dark battery. 

Garrus moved to Jane and pulled her to him, turning them slightly so Jane's back was against the console. He reached up and moved a strand of her hair out of the way. 

"So, 24/7 duty protecting the Commander of the Normandy, saviour of the galaxy, the great Shepard. I think I like that. So, does this job come with any perks?"

Jane put her arms around the turians neck and smiled up at him. "Oh yeah, plenty of them. I think you even get a medal of some kind. Big ceremony and everything."

Garrus had a flash come across his face. "I'm counting on it."

He leaned in and kissed her gently. He had only intended to kiss her for a moment and then begin gathering some of this things to go on his new medical and protective duties guarding Shepard. It didn't work out that way. His kiss prompted Shepard to move in closer to him. Her kiss deepening and becoming more hungry with every passing second.

She gently licked at him until he opened his mouth slightly to her. Her tongue gliding across his making him grown into her mouth. He dug his talons into her hips. 

"Jane…" It came out guttural, husky, full of need. 

She made a slight hop and he was right there with her, grabbing her and lifting her onto the console. She could hear datapads and other items fall to the floor. A year ago she would have been terrified that the crew would have heard. Now, all she cared about was getting the rest of her clothing off and feeling Garrus against her. It had been too long. 

Garrus had the same idea as he started pulling on Jane's clothing. His mouth moving to her neck, nipping and sucking. His fingers tangled with hers at points trying to get them both unclothed as soon as possible. They both chuckled a bit when neither of them could seem to work clasps and buckles.

Jane's legs went around him when she felt a talon glide across her nipples, moving down to her core. She grabbed onto him and began to rock against the hand that was manipulating her body under her pants and over her panties. She took in a deep breath and caught the whiff of sandalwood, the same sandalwood he gave her. Her hips bucked and that was all it took.

He reached down and laid her back on the console. His hand reached for his pants buckle and began to work it as his mouth found her nipple and sucked slightly. 

"Commander! We got a distress signal from Grissom Academy. It's urgent." Joker's voice might as well have been a krogan recon truck for all the damage it did at ruining the moment.

She could feel Garrus slump and sigh against her body. Yet, it was him that spoke first. 

"Joker! Send it to James, he can handle it. Tell him to report back. He can choose his team. That's per Ja...Shepards orders."

He was trying to hold it together. His fingers still working Jane slowly. His body pressed against her as he laid soft kisses on her neck and chest. His mouth moving to hers to capture her one more time. He knew they'd get called out on this. He was just trying to buy time.

"Can't big guy sorry. Cerberus is there. Anderson asked for Shep to handle this personally. As a favor to him."

Jane smiled and kissed Garrus softly. "ETA 10 minutes out Joker. Vakarian and Vega will go with me. Notify Vega."

Garrus slowly let her down off the console as he growled in disapproval. She laughed and kissed his neck making him tremble. He wondered if she knew where she kissed was the exact spot for a bond mark. 

"Come on…"

"That's what I was trying to do." He was smirking and Jane rolled her eyes as she started to laugh.

"You're dirty Vakarian."

He smiled and adjusted his pants. "Good, you can clean me up when we get back."

"It's a deal." She started to leave the battery after fixing her clothing. "Besides, someone has to show you how to use the new dual jet shower in my quarters."


	13. Saviors, Rifles, and Wings

Jack jumped down from the second story and began a steady walk to Shepard. She stopped just short of her and tossed out a right hook. Garrus snarled and made one step forward, but stopped himself. They were here to save the kids and that's what he intended to do. As Shepard and Jack spoke in hushed voices, Garrus glanced up at the kids. He turned his back on them and stepped over to James. They were quickly becoming friends and Garrus was feeling more and more comfortable talking to him.

James nodded at him and glanced at the kids. "They wanna use these kids in this war? I mean, impressive sure, but…"

Garrus nodded. "I'm feeling the same way about it. Hopefully Shepard can convince someone to keep these kids out of the line of fire. I don't care how good they are. I don't like this. Not at all."

Vega nodded. "Sounds like you have experience in dealing with kids in trouble."

Garrus looked down at the ground and back at Vega. "Too much experience. C-sec allows you to help, but you also see the worst in people too. Omega was no different. The only difference was the ability to do more through underground connections. This. I don't know how to deal with this. I just want to get them out of here and get us out of here in one piece."

Shepard brushed past the two of them letting her hand graze Garrus. "How is a camera supposed to help us?"

Garrus barely heard the rest of the conversation. A few minutes later they were ready to go through the doors and make their way to the shuttles. He and James helped gather the kids and kept them covered as they made it past and through cerberus guards and scouts. The fighting, including Shepard getting in a mech, seemed to last hours. In reality, it lasted less than one hour. They almost lost one of the students, but managed to get her out of trouble and on the shuttle at the last minute. 

The shuttle docked in the bay on the Normandy and the last of the kids filed off. Kahlee grabbed onto Jack and was talking to her about their next step. Shepard sat down with her back against the wall, gun next to her, and began to unfasten her boots. James inclined his head over and Garrus nodded. 

"Already on it." 

As everyone went their separate ways, Garrus walked over and sat down across from Shepard. He extended a leg, keeping one knee bent, and began to take out his gun cleaning kit. She looked up for a moment and let a soft smile across her face. Standing up, she removed her field jacket, grabbed a cleaning rag, and sat back down.

They worked in silence for about ten minutes. Garrus looked up and glanced at her. Initially just to watch her and take in the moment. That's when he saw it. The chain glinting. Jane leaned forward and the broken wing slid out of her top. Garrus smiled softly. He went back to buffing out an area on his rifle. A few minutes later he spoke.

"I didn't think you'd still have it."

She knew immediately what he was talking about. Her hand absently went up to play with the wing.

"I had it on in the main battery before the mission. I've never taken it off." Her voice was equally as soft spoken. 

"It looks good on you."

"Most humans have to die to get their wings." 

Garrus let a small smile creep across his face. "You did."

They finished cleaning their rifles and guns, put them up, and headed out to the lift. They didn't notice the smiles and glances they were getting from Vega and Cortez.


	14. The Test of a Man

Garrus had to admit he was slightly nervous. He hadn't even had time to move his things from the main battery to the Captain's Cabin. When they got back from Grissom, Garrus stopped by to see Dr. Chakwas. The doors slid open and she turned in her chair. She chuckled a bit and offered him some coffee and a seat.

"Garrus, what's the problem? The crew knows. No one has a problem with it. In fact, most people like the idea and the others don't really care. She needs someone to stay with her. She needs someone to protect her when she can't protect herself. Garrus, she has always thrown herself into the fire. She needs someone to keep her from getting burned."

Garrus took in everything she said. She was right. He had been concerned about the crew. She even made several other points regarding the fact that he was not Alliance military. He wasn't military at all. He was, in all respects, a civilian as far as any military guidelines were concerned. He took a deep breath and called on his own meditation background. There was a technique they were taught to use in the Turian military. It was a sort of meditation to help find the real issue and bring it out. A few seconds later he let out a deep sigh.

Chakwas knew the technique. She had dealt with many turians over the years and had seen others do it. She remained quiet and sipped on her coffee. 

"What happens when he gets better Karen? What then. What happens when he gets back to duty, if he is put on the Normandy?" There was no insecurity in his voice. It was just the statement and questions. His voice stayed steady and deep.

"Ahh. I wondered if Alenko had something to do with this. Garrus…." Before she could finish the sentence, he abruptly stood up and began pacing.

"Karen look. What he did to her on Horizon was awful. Everyone has a bad breakup, but this was a lashing out. It was like he wanted her to hurt as bad as he had. I can deal with that too. It's not like I've never had a breakup. It's not like i've never been in a relationship. It's been a long time, but still."

He took a deep breath and leaned against the wall, dropping his head back. Karen just watched him. She knew he hadn't been able to get all this out and needed to vent. The closest one to him on the ship, besides Jane, was Liara. To be honest, he hadn't felt comfortable talking to Liara since the Shadow Broker thing. He had tried to talk to Joker, but Joker had never liked Kaidan so there was already this hard viewpoint against the whole thing.

Garrus sighed and continued his vent. "The night of Horizon, well that afternoon, we made a stop at one of the mass relay stations. We were refueling and I decided to step off ship and grab some stuff. I got beers, pizzas, and paid for access to the extranet for one of the games. I showed up at her quarters, didn't mention Kaidan at all, and just let her chill out. It was nice. I had no idea it would lead to all this. I'm not complaining."

He moved back to the seat across from Chakwas and sat back down, taking a sip of the coffee she had prepared for him. 

"So what's the problem? You two are happy. You've stood by her. What's changed?"

Garrus took another sip of coffee. He had relaxed more. He was at ease talking with her finally. "I guess somewhere in my head Kaidan wasn't an issue. He wasn't going to be back in her life at all. A former crewmate and boyfriend."

Karen cut in. 'Fiance."

"Pardon?" Garrus took another sip.

"They were engaged. The wedding date was set. Did she not tell you?" Karen wasn't surprised. The only reason she had known about it was because she was the attending doctor on the Normandy after Saren and she had to give her the physical that was required to apply for an Alliance sanctioned wedding. 

Garrus nodded and gave her a reaction she didn't expect. "Well, I'm not surprised really. They were together for almost three years. Still though. As bad as the breakup was..anyway. My bigger issue was that he just keeps crawling back to reopen the wound. He sent her this long letter. She got it right before our first night together."

"It must not have meant much. You still had a first night instead of no night at all Garrus."

He nodded. "Look, I told her once I wanted one thing to go right. Even with our bumps in the road, this has still gone pretty okay. We are well on our way to something longer term than I ever thought could be. Now, Kaidan is back. So, what happens? I go down on this trumped up guard duty and stay with her. I get a few weeks of a hint at what it might be like after this fucking war. Then, he gets better. He is sent back to the Normandy. She is around and sees the man that she almost married daily. The emotions may still be there. Then I lose anything that meant something to me."

Karen sat back and took in everything Garrus had said. He said it so calm. No hint of pitiful or feel sorry for me. She had to admire that. What bothered her was the underlying issue.

"Garrus, do you not feel your enough for her? That you can't compete with Kaidan?"

She truly was perplexed. Here sat a man, turian or not, that had been highly decorated in his short years in the turian military. He was an expert shot and rifleman. She had seen his C-Sec records when he first came on the Normandy so many years ago. As much as he talked them down, he was a good cop. In fact, he was excellent. He had spearheaded several task forces while he was with C-Sec including aiding homeless children and displaced families so they wouldn't get caught up in the darker sides of the Citadel. In his spare time he had been a coach for some kids teams. He was even rumored to be a good tipper at the bars and Asari clubs on the Citadel. 

In addition to all of that, on Omega he had done good work. Sure, he had gone a darker route to do it, but he did it. He went on to come back and work with Shepard. There was another aspect. Outside of Joker, no one had stood by Shepard come hell or high water the way he had. Karen had even glanced once at his family background. He came from such a good family that he was literally next in line to be Primarch. 

Karen decided to tell him all of that. He smiled through some of it, cringed at some it, and nodded at a few other parts. 

"That sounds inspiring Karen, but…"

"But what?"

"I can't give her what her own kind can. That's what. I look great until I saddle up next to one of her…"

"Garrus Vakarian! I am shocked at you. You have taken out thugs on Omega, took down a trafficking ring on the Citadel, taken out a Collector base, fought for your home planet and you are going to let a human with enough whines to start his own wine and cheese company best you. Well, if that is all it takes then we have no hope at this war."

She took a breath when she realized Garrus had blinked like he had been slapped. Good. That's what she wanted.

"I don't care how you handle the job. You are the primary bodyguard and protector of one of the greatest commanders the Alliance has ever known. Beyond that, it's personal. My personal opinion is that you should show her exactly what you have to offer. Make sure if she chooses Kaidan over you that she will regret it for every single day of the rest of her life. Show her the man you are, in and out of this war. So suck it up buttercup and put your big boy shorts on. Because frankly if she ends up down an isle with Alenko, I will make your life a living hell and I have the medications to do it!"

She stood folding her arms and staring down at the shocked Turian sitting in front of her.

He blinked and stared at her. Honestly, he had never been talked to by that outside of his mother. He was almost certain Karen had channeled her actually, if he believed in that.

"Well?!? Go! You aren't off duty Vakarian."

He stood up. "Yes...yes ma'am." He chuckled slightly and headed to the main battery to pack his things. While he did it he sent a quick message to Jane on her omni tool.

"Want me to bring anything? Beer, wine?"

It took a few minutes and he heard the alert of new mail. "Just you big guy."

That's all he needed. It was time to show Jane exactly what she was getting. If he was going to lose to Alenko, he was going to go out fighting.


	15. Friendships, a Few Beers, and Moving

Shepard was tidying up her quarters and clearing off data pads while she waited on Garrus to show up. She had to admit she was a bit nervous. She had never lived with someone full-time. Well, at least not someone she was in a relationship with. James had lived in the same apartment with her while she was on house arrest with the Alliance, but that was different. They had separate spaces and James had other things to do besides just sit and watch her. 

When she was with Kaidan, they only bunked together a few times during the week. She had wanted him to move in with her and offered it several times, but he always said no and cited some regulation or another. It was a bit annoying she had to admit. But now, this was different. She and Garrus were in a relationship. She wasn't sure where that relationship stood since the war. They hadn't really discussed it. 

She heard the beep of the door alarm and was a little perplexed why Garrus was ringing the doorbell. Maybe his hands were full. She went to the door and as it slid open she was surprised to see Joker standing there.

"Joker? Is something wrong with the coms? I didn't hear you…" 

Jeff waved his hand and shook his head no as he walked in the room. It wasn't the first time he had visited her. They were actually close friends outside of their duties. They just didn't vocalize it as much. He moved over to the sofa and sat down, one of his legs stretched out. The door closed and Shepard made her way to the sitting area, taking a seat across from him.

Joker spoke first.

"So, the big guy is moving in huh?" He took a drink from her as she leaned forward offering it. Leaning back she took her drink and popped the top nodding with the first sip.

"Yeah, Karen put him on guard duty. He has to make sure I am doing what I should be doing. Resting a bit, taking a break, staying mentally and physically aware for this nightmare." She took another sip of the beer and leaned back.

Joker nodded and laughed. "You really think that's all there is to it don't you? My God, what kind of bullshit number did Major Asshat do on you anyway?"

Shepard rolled her eyes. "I get it. You don't and never liked Kaidan, but Joker…"

He shook his head, swallowing the sip of beer in his mouth. He looked at Jane, but kept fiddling with the wrapper on the bottle as he spoke. He knew she needed to hear what he was about to say, but he was still nervous about it. 

"Jane, look. It's not about liking or disliking the guy. You are like a sister to me. What Kaidan did was over the top. Everyone gets him being hurt. No one is faulting him for that. But, beyond that is what we are faulting him for. He treats you like he can run you through the ringer, leave you in a heap, and then just iron it out later. He didn't even take the engagement seriously. I mean shit, he acted like everything with you was expected. Like he was going by some manual and that eventually you two would either die old and unhappy on a porch in some part of god forsaken Canada together or you would move on and he would end up sad and alone until the next by the book came along."

Jane nodded. She had to agree with him. She and Kaidan meshed fine before, but outside of uniforms and regulations they didn't really click. 

"Now, you and Garrus. That's another story. He isn't just doing this out of some sense of duty Jane. I'm going to tell you something I shouldn't. A few somethings I shouldn't. Take it any way you want, but I need to tell you."

Jane nodded and braced herself for the onslaught of things she was doing wrong and how she needed to fix her shit or she would lose Garrus. What she got was unexpected.

"He couldn't stay sober when you died. He made Oraka look like a lightweight. He tried talking to the council. When they wanted to denounce you he was done. More so than the rest of us. The last time I saw him was the day he boarded a shuttle for Omega. He was in casual clothes. You know until then, I didn't know turians knew how to do casual."

They both laughed a little. Jane smiled. "Yeah, the first time I realized they had relaxed outfits I was a bit in shock myself."

Joker nodded and continued.

"He told me he needed to do something to make a difference. That everything was turned upside down and he couldn't keep living like he was. Jane, he had a picture of you on top of his bag. I saw it when he unzipped the thing. I asked him about it. He said he had loved you since the first moment he saw you. He just didn't have the balls do to anything about it. I think he told me because, why the hell not at that point. Who was I going to tell right?"

He took another sip of his beer and sat quiet for a moment.

"I'm going to ask something I shouldn't. How do you feel about him Jane? Really. I won't judge you. I just want to know."

Jane sat for a moment. She had never truly thought about it. Garrus was in her life. She was happy. She had found peace. Beyond that, what was there.

"There's no Shepard without Vakarian." Was all she could say. She let the words hang as she drank the last of her beer.

Joker's eyes got wide for a moment. He was about to say something when the door slid open and a huge thud sound filled the area.

"Oh, no I'm fine. Just let the big burly turian fumble around until he gets in the door. No big deal."

Garrus came in and saw Joker and Jane sitting with their arms crossed smirking at him.

He shook his head. "No, spirits Joker don't get up. You'll break half your body. I got it."

Joker watched as Garrus and Shepard interacted. No prying eyes to stop them. Just them relaxed around each other. He had seen Shepard once or twice around Kaidan, but there was no real change in how they interacted in or out of uniform. This was different.

He watched as Shepard walked over and began putting some of Garrus' stuff away. There was no awkwardness or rules of don't touch that. She emptied his bags as if she had done it a thousand time. Garrus let her too. He walked by her and they spoke to each other laughing or joking. There were some jokes made about how much product turians had. Joker even laughed when Garrus explained why he had so much and Jane made a quip about the difference being that his was scented.

He watched as Garrus moved to the other side of the large bed in the quarters. He began setting some things down on and in the empty nightstand. He even took off his visor and placed it on the nightstand. When he finished he moved and grabbed a turian beer. He turned on the vidscreen and began flipping through until he landed on a station. Muting it he turned and looked at Joker. 

"So, how's the new super sexy robot body in the cockpit?" Joker almost spit out his beer.

Shepard laughed a bit. "What's wrong Jeff? Not used to a relaxed turian?"

Joker laughed it off and began chatting with them. He headed back a few hours later after watching a game, drinking some more, and making sure that the woman he looked up to as a big sister was happy.


	16. Interspecies Awkward Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your ongoing support. Seeing the reviews and kudos makes my day. Believe me there is so much more to come. I hope you enjoy it and continue to enjoy it. Thank you all so much again!
> 
> Thalia

Shepard changed clothes and headed to the bed. Bunking together wasn't anything new, although most of the time it was to find a few quiet moments together before someone realized they were missing. This was different. She sat down on the bed and glanced at Garrus who was reading a datapad. 

"What are you reading? Reports?" Jane moved closer to him and tried to snuggle. He lifted his arm and let her move closer. 

"Nah, it's a report on how awkward it is to move in with your girlfriend and have that first night in bed." His voice didn't waiver. It kept that very solid professional sound to it, which made Jane bust out laughing. Leave it to Garrus to break the ice with laughter.

"It's not that awkward is it?" Jane said through laughter.

He put the datapad down and wrapped his arms around her. Rubbing his forehead to the side of hers. "No, actually I think that is what makes it a little awkward. Everything is easy. Everything clicks. Everything is…."

"Right?" Jane's voice hung for a bit and she heard a low grown and a slight mm-hmnm as he snuggled her. 

Jane turned her head and let her lips touch the scars on Garrus' face. She heard a low growl and felt his arms tighten around her. He could almost forget there was a war going on. When he had told her almost a year ago, that all he wanted was for something to go right for once. This...this was it.

He whispered in her ear as he rolled her onto her back. "I missed you Jane. I missed us."

It was the first time he had ever referred to them as anything. Her heart swelled and began to beat faster as she wrapped her arms around him. Her legs spread as his hand moved her shorts down exposing her skin to him. When he felt the warmth of her his chest rumbled in what could only be described as a purr.

Garrus slowly removed his pants, leaving him totally exposed to her, and he was totally at ease. She noticed how relaxed every muscle in his body seemed to be. He was at peace. Just like the peace she found in his arms, he had found peace in hers.

Garrus sat up on his knees and pulled Jane's shorts down her legs. As he pulled them off, he gently placed a leg on ether side of his waist. He allowed his fingers to graze up her legs to her hips as he laid over her. His lips found hers and kissed, as best he could, gently. His hands were all over her, gently rubbing and carassing. She felt like he was worshipping and taking in every inch of her, and he was.

Her lips found their way to his neck and began to kiss and nibble. With every nibble his hips arched into her. She could feel him pressing against her begging to enter her but trying to hold back. Trying to make it last. Jane wrapped her legs around him and pulled him closer to her. Her lips were at his ear and he heard her whisper his name. Soft, carassing, and it undid him.

He moved his hips back and pushed forward, sliding into her slowly until he was completely sheathed in her warmth. THey both groaned out and began moving together. Going at each others pace. Taking each other with each thrust and pull. Garrus wasn't going to be able to hold back for long and neither was Jane. it had been too long and they needed this connection so badly.

Jane's breathing started to speed up as Garrus started to thrust faster and harder. Jane grabbed to him tighter making Garrus reach up and brace himself on the small headboard. He thrusted harder and faster, grunting, moaning Jane's name.

"Jane, I….I'm…." She moaned at his words and he felt her body shudder against him and around him. 

He moaned out loudly with her and pulsed inside of her. He pulled her close as his body trembled and he finished his release. He kissed her, brushed her body with his hands, rubbed his forehead against hers.

She let her breathing calm down as she started to drift off in his arms. The fact that he could give her that kind of release, relaxation, and peace filled him with pride. He slowly pulled out of her and rolled to his back, bringing her tightly to him. He stroked her hair as she fell asleep. The last thing that could be heard in the room was the sigh of a peaceful turian.


	17. Preparing to Dock and Breakup

Shepard felt something gentle and soft rub across her arm. Most people would wake slowly to whatever it was. Shepard decided to wake by trying to put the offensive, whatever it was, in an arm bar. Her eyes fully opened when she heard an "Oww" through laughter and a deep guttural laugh. She sat up to a wide awake Garrus. He was already dressed in his armor from the feet up to his waist. His undershirt was in place, but not his top armor. She smelled coffee and glanced over at the table to see cups sitting out already.

"So, is this the turian way or are you trying to butter me up for something? I'm not complaining, just curious." She smirked and walked over to the table, grabbing a cup and making her way to the bathroom. Garrus heard the water turn on and smiled. Standing up he walked to the doorway watching Shepard shower in the hot streams of water.

"Ahh, call it a little of column A, little column B." 

At this words, Jane stopped with her fingers still massaging shampoo into her hair. She glared at him. "Spill it Vakarian."

He chuckled, turning his back on her and walking back into the main area of the quarters.

"Mordin has a cure. Meeting is in ten minutes." He smirked into this coffee as he heard the long list of cuss words and speciality words that only she could come up with. One of which being his personal favorite, tit whiskers. He still wasn't sure where it came from, but it always made him giggle when he heard it.

A few minutes later they were walking together towards the meeting in the war room. Shepard noticed that once they were out of the lift from leaving the captain's cabin, he went into full soldier and bodyguard mode. It made her smile, even though the little voice in the back of her head came up and questioned if this was all for the job. She shook that voice out and began listening to Mordin.

The shroud facility seemed like the right plan. She had to agree. She got everyone on board with it and looked at Mordin.

"What's the ETA Mordin? I want to try and handle a few things before we do this."

Mordin nodded. "Understood Shepard. It will take at least a day to get to the Krogan DMZ and another two days to prepare everything."

Shepard nodded and crossed her arms, a sign she was thinking over something. "Take the next two days to complete the cure and prepare for it disbursal at the shroud. We will make out stops at the Citadel and go to the DMZ."

Mordin agreed and everyone went to their separate areas of the war room and ship. Shepard walked over to Victus and Garrus as they talked in hushed voices. Garrus nodded at her. He had his arms crossed in front of him and his hip out a bit. It had only been a few days since Victus had lost his son on Tuchanka, trying to diffuse a bomb. She felt for him. He seemed to be holding it together though.

"Primarch." Shepard nodded.

Victus put his hand up. "Please Commander, Adrian. With this war, we don't need to be as formal as all that. I was just speaking to Garrus about the possible outcome of this cure on Tuchanka. We will give support as soon as we have Wrex on board. Do you see any potential issues?"

Shepard listened and took in a deep breath. She leaned her ass against the console and shook her head. "Honestly, no. If it were his brother Wreav I would. Wrex is solid. So is Eve. I think we will be safe."

Victus agreed. "Long-lasting peace. Now there is a different story. Though, it isn't long-lasting we are concerned with is it? Ah, I'll let you to it then Commander. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do. I'll be making arrangements for my bondmate and our youngest. They made it to the Citadel this morning, but I may be seeking other accommodations temporarily."

As he went to leave the two alone, he tapped a talon on Shepards right shoulder juncture at the base of her neck. Looking at Garrus he said, "Right about there I would think. Hard to say on a human."

He smirked and walked off leaving Garrus turning fifty shades of red and coughing nervously.

"Something I should know?" Jane was amused. She understood the reference easily enough. 

"Not...yet. So, need me for something?"

The two began walking from the war room and towards the CIC. Shepard stopped Garrus at the conference room. 

"Garrus, I'm going to the Citadel and...I don't want you to go with me."

Garrus looked at her for a moment and shook his head. "No, I'm going. Next."

"I knew you would say that. Fine, but you'll have to stand outside. I have to go see Kaidan."

She let the words hang for a minute. Garrus nodded. "Why?"

"He asked me to. He is feeling better and I want to set things straight with him. About our past, and about you..and us."

She let the last two words dangle in the air. She watched as Garrus took in her words and then moved to her. He put a hand on either shoulder and kissed her forehead before releasing her.

"Fine. I'll stand outside and make myself useful there. After that though, we go to Apollo's and I get you lunch. I also need to stop by my apartment and clear it out. I'm giving it up to house a general and his wife from Palavan."

"Wait, you have an apartment on the Citadel?" She looked surprised which made Garrus laugh a little.

"Yeah, the apartment was always there. It was my dads when he worked there, then mine when I joined C-Sec. Dad kept it up and then I took over when I was given the task force. It was a backup plan or place to stay when we visited. Nothing major. I'll show you around." He smiled. It seemed to please him to make the offer. She wondered if it was a turian thing. She really needed to brush up on social customs.

"Sounds good. We should be docking soon."

Garrus nodded and the both went their separate ways on the ship. 

Shepard stopped at her private terminal, cleared messages, and replied to the one sent by Kaidan with a quick note saying she would see him soon. She closed out the terminal and took a deep sigh. She hoped this would be as painless as she hoped it would be.


	18. Diplomatic Words Spoken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard meets with Kaidan for the first time since Mars. Relationships are discussed, truths are stated, and Kaidan begins to plan.

The docking at the Citadel took a little more time than Shepard would have liked. She finally received the call from Joker that they were clear to disembark. Garrus stood up and tossed his datapad on the bed. He had been reading some books by Earth authors that he had heard mentioned. Currently he was engaged in anything and everything Sparta. Not surprising really.

They made their way off the Normandy and filed out onto Docking Bay 24. Garrus nodded toward some of the other turians that had found their way to the relative safety the CItadel currently offered. Garrus escorted Shepard, very officially actually, to Huerta and her meeting Kaidan. Shepard had to wonder if part of that was to be seen by his own people and by Kaidan. 

As they entered into the hospital lounge, Thane called them over. He wasn't doing well, but he was able to talk and to enjoy some company. After spending some time visiting, Shepard let her gaze fall towards Kaidan's room. Thane looked at Garrus who just rolled his eyes and shook his head in response.

"Not a meeting you are looking forward to Shepard?" Thane's voice broke into Shepard's thoughts. 

"Hmm? Oh, not really no. I need to get a point across and I am trying to figure out a diplomatic way to do it." She templed her fingers and sat back looking at the doorway.

Garrus cleared his throat and sat back in the lounge chair. "Let's see. He trashed you on Horizon. Sent a sort of apology letter that was more like a woe is me this is why I'm depressed and it's your fault sob story. You moved on. He sees you again and then decides to make the jealous boyfriend speech, except Cerberus was the target not me. You also told him, from what I understand from Liara, to kick rocks back on Mars. I think diplomatic is something that isn't going to really help. Blunt force trauma to the head yes. Diplomatic kindness, not so much."

Thane smirked a bit. "Yes, the Major does seem to be a bit..what to humans call it...thick when it comes to a relationship with you. Most men would realize they had been too harsh and driven you into the arms of another. He doesn't seem to."

"Well despite the mainstream view of this, I still know him enough. We spent two years together. Diplomatic works with him. So, that's what I am leading with." Shepard stood up and smoothed out her pants. She felt something touch her hand and looked down.

Thane had handed her a small pistol. She looked at the pistol and looked at Thane with a raised eyebrow.

"For when diplomacy does not work." His dulcet tones replied.

Jane shook her head and chuckled as she walked off.

The doors opened and standing in front of Kaidan was Udina. She nodded at the councilor as he left and waited for the doors to shut firmly behind him. Taking a seat, she handed Kaidan some whiskey she had bought for him.

"Got this for you. How are you doing?" 

Kaidan took the bottle. "Wow, that's really nice. Thanks."

Jane cringed inwardly. Everything Kaidan said either sounded like he had no idea how to put the correct emotional response on his words or like he was being a sarcastic dick. 

They talked for a few minutes about the open spectre position, family, and how Kaidan was doing. When they were done, Jane decided to let Kaidan bring up the relationship issues. 

"Is there something else you wanted to talk about Kaidan?" Jane prepared herself for it. 

"Shepard, is there something going on with you and Garrus?" Kaidan asked with that tone in his voice that said not only did he know, but there was a fight he was ready for.

"Kaidan…" Shepard sighed for a bit and opened her mouth to continue when Kaidan cut her off.

"Don't lie to me Jane!"

"Whoa!" It was that tone and that word that made Garrus turn his head. He could hear what was going on anyway, but that tone of us was the kind you hear a mother use when she tells her kids to sit down or when a line has been crossed. 

Garrus listened, but stood up and began to walk towards the door. Just in case.

"You hold up right there Kaidan. You humiliated me on Horizon. You not only dragged me down, you ripped my heart out, and you did it in front of my crew. I get it. I was dead and apparently the first thing I should have done was contacted you. Here's the thing. I knew you well enough to know you would have moved on, if you weren't knee deep in your own self pity. Either way, if there was an us it would need to be rekindled."

Kaidan went to open his mouth, but Jane shut him down. 

"No, I listened to you on Horizon. You even sent a letter to make sure I had to listen some more. YOU are going to listen to ME now. You crushed me then Kaidan. You just shut me down. We were ready to walk down the aisle together. The one person in this galaxy that should have had my back was you. You hung me out to dry instead. I thought I had literally no one. Just another reminder of what I had lost."

She stood up and began pacing the room. She stopped with her arms crossed as she gazed out the window. She hadn't intended to, but something caught her eye. It was the tip of one of the cherry blossom trees in the old Citadel tower. Her mind clicked in with the memory of meeting Garrus for the first time. That memory made her smile. At the time she knew he was a missing piece to her life, she just didn't know where that piece fit, until recently.

She remained looking out the window. "That night, Garrus showed up at my quarters. Not for a sexual advance. Just to hang out. To help me forget what you had done. To forget the pain. We had some beers, ate some food, and watched the game. He passed out on my sofa in my quarters and I passed out on the bed. Kaidan, it took months before I approached him. Part of that was because of what you had put me through. Part of it was because I didn't think he saw me that way. The other part was because I knew I had feelings and your actions made me terrified of them."

She leaned her ass on the cabinets near the window and turned to Kaidan. "Is there something between me and Garrus. I don't know how he feels about it, but fuck I hope so. I hope there is something. I hope the one person in this god forsaken galaxy that I can still trust cares for me as much as I do him. I hope he has my back. I hope there really is no Shepard without Vakarian, because if what happened with you came out of his mouth, then the reapers wouldn't need to take me out. I'd have that covered. Is that clear enough for you Major Alenko?"

The look on Kaidan's face was a mix of shock and anger. Not exactly what Jane expected to see. It took him a minute to speak, but when he did the words weren't what she expected either.

"I understand. I hurt you Jane. But, you need to know something. I'm not seeing anyone and I still care. I would do anything to take away what I said on Horizon. I know I can't, so instead I'm going to do what it takes to prove I'm the one you need to be with. That this thing with Garrus is just filling a void temporarly, until you can let me back into your heart."

There were about a million and five things Jane could say at that point. She actually didn't know what to say. She was hoping his delusional reaction of them still having any sort of chance was due to the pain meds. Maybe he hit his head harder than she thought. 

"Kaidan, I'm going to get a nurse for you. I think she needs to check the level of your medication. It's making you delusional."

Jane started to walk out. The doors slide open and Kaidan caught sight of Garrus waiting on her. He smiled at the turian, and since Jane had her back to Kaidan she couldn't see it. Garrus nodded at him and began walking toward Jane. He stopped short in his tracks when Kaidan spoke.

"Jane!?! Never forget I love you." 

Kaidan's words hung with the exact intent he meant them. Jane stopped in the doorway. Garrus glared and Kaidan knew at that point he would do whatever it took to get Jane back. If nothing else to take something from Garrus that Garrus had taken from him.


	19. Dinner and Views

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit of sleeper chapter, but I felt it needed to happen. A bit of calm before the storm as it were.

Garrus was trying not to let Kaidan get to him. He heard what Shepard had to say to him. He knew how she felt. Kaidan was trying to get a rise out of him, and it was going to take a lot more than a declaration of love to do it. Shepard on the other hand was seething. So much so that Garrus wasn't sure if he should be amused or remove her from public for awhile.

They stepped into the elevator and Garrus paused the lift. He turned to Jane and crossed his arms. "You know you are letting him get what he wants right? He is just trying to get a rise."

Jane shook her head and sighed. "I know. I'm not mad about what he said. I'm irritated about his methods. The bottom line is, Kaidan is a good man. He is a great soldier. He isn't the best in social circles, but he holds his own. The problem is he has this viewpoint that I'm sorry fixes it all. He can say things, horrible hurtful things, and say it was because of his emotions. He says I'm sorry and you should open the doors back wide. He hasn't had the time in to realize it doesn't work that way."

Garrus nodded. He understood. He had the same viewpoint during his first relationship. He learned quickly after that. Maybe that's why this little fiasco wasn't bothering him as much.

"Shepard, you know he is going to try to go at us a bit. Just stand your ground." He smiled and flipped the lift back into action. He leaned in, letting his forehead brush hers. 

As they exited the lift and began their walk to Apollo's Shepard stopped and reached for Garrus' hand. He turned around, taking her hand in his. "Hmm?"

She looked down at their hands and back at his eyes. "If this is too much for you, if this is more than you want to deal with…"

He pulled her to him cutting her off. She had to relish in the fact that he didn't care who saw them or what they thought of what they did see. He rubbed her back and pulled back a bit, moving a talon under chin and lifting her eyes to his.

"I am exactly where I want to be."

He didn't wait for her to respond. He took her hand and lead her along to Apollo's. 

They ordered their food and drinks. The drinks came out and Garrus smiled. 

"What?" She asked him with a smile.

"We never had dinner out together. It's always been on the Normandy in the mess, your quarters, or take out. This. This is new." Garrus explained as he began to sip on the blue liquid he ordered.

Shepard smiled and sipped her drink. "And? How is it?"

Garrus smiled a bit and chuckled. "Nice. If you had told me ten years ago that I would be sitting at the Citadel, having lunch with a human, feeling at peace and complete.. I would have laughed. Funny where paths lead us."

Shepard nodded and leaned back as their food arrived. They spent the next hour talking and enjoying the food as if a war wasn't going on. What struck Shepard most was that it wasn't shop talk. It was everything from errands they both needed to run to him picking on her about her little OCD's. She never had that before. What she didn't realize was neither had he.

As they paid the check and got up to leave, their omni tools went off. They had two hours before they had to leave the Citadel and head back to the DMZ. 

"Apartment?" Shepard asked.

"Commander? Are you flirting with me?" He faked shock and put his hand to his chest.

Shepard laughed. "If I said yes?"

Garrus chuckled and pulled her to the transport. " I'm just making sure I'm not getting mixed signals."

They laughed as they got on the transport and headed to the apartment. 

Shepard didn't know what to expect. She knew there were levels of apartments just like in any area. She also knew there were smaller colonies all around the main area of the Citadel. As the transport kept going Shepard noticed they were moving into a much nicer neighborhood than she expected. It reminded her of the Garden District in New Orleans and the pictures she had seen of similar areas.

The transport finally stopped. Garrus took her hand and lead her off the transport. As they walked the covered pathways, he put his arm around her. She noticed there was no hesitancy. It was just natural. He smiled when they reached a doorman. Shepard quircked an eyebrow as the turian at the door nodded.

"Mister Vakarian sir. I trust you are having a good day?" He opened the door for them and Garrus nodded back.

"Yes, thank you. I hope you have a nice day as well." 

Garrus lead Shepard through the door and into the lift. As they stepped in, Shepard looked at him. Garrus cleared his throat.

"My parents have owned this apartment for a long time. That's all. Dad was well known and admired in C-Sec. The Vakarian name is, well it's well known."

Shepard looked at him for a moment. "How well known?"

Garrus was going to answer just as the door opened. Shepard turned to what she thought was going to be a hall of apartments but instead was a small entryway like the one to her captain's cabin.

Garrus took out a keycard and popped it into the scanning slot. They waited and the light turned green. He turned the handle and Jane felt the rush of cool air and the soft smell of honeysuckle and vanilla.

He stepped in and flipped on the lights as he dropped the keycard into a bowl at the door. He turned to her and held his hand out.

"Come on in. You are welcome in my apartment and in any dwelling owned by Vakarians."

The invitation seemed a bit formal. "That was formal." Jane stated as she entered the room.

"Was that a turian custom of some kind?"

Garrus smiled and stepped into a room that turned out to be the kitchen. It was beautiful with slate and copper accents. 

He nodded at her and opened the fridge. There was some fresh food in there and he nodded in approval. He closed the door and began checking things in the cabinets and around the kitchen. 

"It's a turian thing in a manner of speaking. It means you have a home in my home. Basically." 

He walked through and into the living room area and bedroom checking for things. Shepard watched as he grabbed a bag and began tossing items into it. As he did Shepard looked out the window of the living room area to the gardens outside. It was breathtaking.

"Yes, you are." She heard him say. She turned and he smiled as he tossed a book into the bag and went back to the bedroom. 

"I didn't mean to say that outloud." Jane said as she followed Garrus. She stepped around the corner and felt hands grab her and spin her around. Her back hit the wall and Garrus' mouth was on hers. 

There was a small groan from him as he kissed her then suddenly pulled back. He let his forehead rub hers before he pulled totally back and began packing things again as if nothing had just happened.

"What the hell Garrus?" Jane looked stunned.

Garrus smiled. " Just a friendly reminder from your neighborhood turian about what you have."

Jane smiled and watched him finish just in time for them to leave for the Normandy.


	20. The Shroud

Shepard was geared up and ready to go when Traynor contacted her. "Commander, the Salarian Dalatrass is on vidcom in the war room. She's asking to speak with you on an urgent matter."

Shepard was leaned over the war console. She shook her head and looked at Victus who was smirking. She playfully responded as she turned to make her way to the vidcom. "Yeah, yeah laugh it up."

Stepping into the room she hit the button to let the Dalatrass know she was available. It was just a matter of seconds when the Dalatrass showed up in front of her. Shepard stood her ground as the Dalatrass began asking questions about the potential genophage cure.

"Do you really think this will result in lasting peace, Commander?"

If it had been Wreav or any other krogan her answer would have been a flat no. With Eve and Wrex at the helm, and the krogan they could potentially influence, her answer was yes. In fact, it was yes without hesitation.

The dalatrass went on to give Shepard an option if she didn't want the genophage to work. A sabotage. Shepard took in her words and walked out of the vidcom room. Adrian was standing in the war room waiting. He fell into stop beside Shepard and walked with her to the conference room. Once there, Shepard stopped and looked at him. If Garrus could trust him, so could she.

"The dalatrass offered a sabotage. The shroud is rigged so this can't happen. I can say nothing and it will look as though it worked. No genophage. No cure."

Shepard said it softly. Partly so no one would hear her and partly because she wasn't sure how to take it all in. The impact it would have would be far reaching.

Adrian sat down and propped his feet on the table casually. He reached in a pocket she didn't know he had and pulled out a pack of turian smokes. Packing them, he took one out and lit it.

"Well, what do you think of it, Jane? Be honest. Don't think of it as just Wrex. Think of it on a broader scale. Don't think of the soldier, think of the war."

Jane sat down and let out a deep sigh. "With Wrex and Eve at the helm I think the peace could be lasting. Not just because of them. Because of the people they could influence and the clans they could bring on board and grow. He can hammer home, in some cases literally, that the last thing they want to do with the genophage cure in place is to go about expansion with war. With the current situation, even thinking of the what if's, not offering it to them would be horrific."

Adrian just nodded and listened. When Jane was done, he snuffed out his smoke and looked at her. 

"Then there you are. Now, Commander, go cure the fucking genophage and be the hero everyone thinks you are."

Jane smiled as Adrian left her alone in the room. She took a deep breath and turned around just in time to see Garrus lean in. "Ready?"

She nodded and headed out.

 

A few hours later Shepard was standing with everyone. She had told them of the sabotage and now they were discussing using a thresher maw as a weapon of mass destruction. It was Eve's idea and frankly, Shepard liked it. They acted on it, and within an hour it had worked. Shepard was tired, covered in Tuchanka dust, and running to the shroud facility. All of this, everything they had done, thousands of years of history looked down on this moment and what one salarian doctor could do.

She walked up and found Mordin. He explained the situation and it was clear what was about to happen. It tore her apart. All of this. All of the life that would come from it and all hinging on the life that was about to be lost. How could he face it so strongly? She did it. She faced death every single day, sometimes several times a day, but… it was danger not the actual coffin.

She had to let Mordin go. She watched as the elevator move up to the top of the shroud. She had to make herself break away and get away from the facility to safety. She didn't turn around until she heard the explosion. She held her hand out and caught one of the ashes containing the cure. Her heart sank.

They boarded the shuttle after talking to Wrex and Eve. As she sat down and readied herself for the trip back to the Normandy, she felt Garrus' hand on her. She looked up and Garrus pulled her to her feet, wrapping his arms around her. He had never done that before, but seeing the solemn faces of Liara and Cortez, she figured he needed the comfort as much as she did. She slacked into the hug and held to him.

A few seconds later she felt her shoulders shake with crying. It wasn't just Mordins sacrifice. It was everything. It was her own death, the Lazarus project, the coming back, all of it. The loss, the gains, the truths, and the lies. She finally hit a breaking point and it just happened to be now. Garrus did something Jane had never had happen. He soothed her. He didn't try to hold off, hide it, or push her away with a pat on the back until later. In fact, she heard him giving her soft shhh sounds as he held her. He even told her it was okay and to let it go. She was allowed to be strong in her weakness and she loved him for that all the more.


	21. Cures, Rest, and High Commands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been away for a bit. New chapters are going up over the next few days. Thank you so much for the support! I appreciate it. The comments have been great and very uplifting. I'm glad you are enjoying it.

Shepard stood in front of the vidcom waiting on Hackett to walk into view. She had cried it out, showered, and put her military face back on. It only took a few minutes for Hackett to show up.

"Hell of a thing you just pulled off Commander. Curing the genophage? I never thought I'd see the day." Hackett shook his head with leftover shock and disbelief. 

They spoke for a few more minutes. Jane letting him know that the cost of the Salarians was too high. She turned at the end of the conversation and began her walk back into the war room. Victus and Garrus were waiting on her. 

They discussed Turian military support and krogan assistance. 

"May the spirits watch over us all." Victus turned to go handle some final arrangements from the Normandy and decide where to set up a base camp for the Turians. 

"Shepard, you must be exhausted. Losing Mordin. It' can't be easy. Get some sleep." Garrus looked worried. He had talked to Joker and Adrian already. On his way to the war room the good doctor caught up to him too. Everyone felt that if they couldn't convince Shepard to rest, he could. It was his new job after all. 

"I'll sleep when I'm dead." She was leaned over the war room console. Garrus could actually see the lines on her face, the matching luggage picking up under her eyes from lack of full rest. He looked around to see if anyone was in ear shot or watching. When he confirmed no one was, he grabbed her elbow and leaned into her ear.

"Jane please. Don't make me carry you out of here. Remember, I still have my cuffs from C-sec."

She looked at his eyes and glanced down to his free hand that was tapping a spot on his armor. 

"Oh for the love of...you still carry them with you?!?" She rolled her eyes.

He nodded, smiling. "You see, I have this commander that I am supposed to be guarding. Real tricky sort. Have to be on my toes as it were. Now, go get some rest. We'll get you if anything comes up. I know where you sleep."

She sighed. "If you insist."

The sleep wasn't as restful as she had hoped it would be. She had another nightmare. That little boy again, voices from the past, and some park that she remembered but couldn't place. She sat up with a gasp and looked around the room. All she saw next to her was a note from Garrus. 

"I'll be back later. Working with Engineer Adams on some upgrades. Coffee is in your thermos. Love G."

She smiled softly, wishing he was there, but understanding. She had started washing her face when she heard the door slide open. A few minutes later she heard Liara. Shepard told her how she was missing Ashley and they joked for a bit.

As she came out she saw Liara standing next to the bed, glancing at the note that Garrus had left. There was a smile on her face as Shepard moved a data pad on her task and looked at her friend.

"What Liara?" 

Liara smiled and began looking around the room. Most of the room looked like nothing had changed, but there were a few aspects that were evident two people were staying there. There were two wine glasses on the coffee table clearly left from the evening before. There was a rifle being worked on sitting on the workbench. A second armor locker was set up. There was an extra pillow on the bed. It was little things.

"I would make a bet that if I went into the bathroom I'd find turian products in there. Am I right?" 

Liara crossed her arms and smiled a bit at Jane's blush. "Did you stop by to talk about old times and critique my cabin items or was there something else?"

"Actually yes. I received a communication from the Asari High Command. There is an issue. Commandos were sent in and haven't been heard back from. They are asking us to check it out."

Shepard nodded and put the datapad she was holding down. LIara showed her where the commandos went. "Okay. We can go there before going to the Citadel to refuel and restock."

"Thank you Shepard." Liara turned as Shepard began to walk out of the cabin. They stepped into the lift and Jane felt Liara's fingers touch her collar and move it up just a bit.

Shepard turned her head and Liara smiled. "I could say that I was adjusting your uniform, but we will both know that Jack was right about your likes."

Shepard shook her head as they both fell into laughter. 

Shepard left the lift at the CIC and headed for the cockpit. She walked up on Joker and Garrus sharing jokes. Leaning against the entry into the cockpot, she stood and listened. It was the moments like this she liked to burn in her memory. The battles eventually blended together. The victories would always be remembered. The losses too. It was these moments that she would remember years from now. 

When the jokes were finished, Joker turned around in his chair. "I'm sorry about Mordin."

Jane felt the sting of that loss again and nodded. They spoke for a few minutes. "Joker we need to head toward the point Liara just put on the map. Asari high command has requested our help. Give me an ETA as soon as you can."

She turned and Garrus fell in beside her. After discussing Mordin and the Salarian offer, Shepard took a deep sigh.

"What's bothering you?" Garrus' voice was deep as always but there was a concern and exhaustion in it. For all the she had on her shoulders, he had an equal amount. He hadn't said it. They hadn't talked about it. She knew though, from the few things she had heard and seen on his datapads, he was next in line for Primarch. If something happened to Adrian...well it was a lot to think about. It was starting to show.

"Asari high command wants our help. They sent commandos in on a mission. No word from them. Liara will want to go on this one. Garrus, I don't think it has truly hit her yet what this war can do. She knows what is going on, but I don't think how bad it really is has hit her. Hell Garrus, I don't even know what we are walking into with this."

Garrus nodded and leaned back against the wall. He had started to be less concerned about military appearance and protocol lately, or maybe he just didn't give a damn anymore with all the hell that was raining down on them. She had to admit, he wasn't the only one. A lot of crew members were more relaxed as far as how they handled themselves lately, and frankly Jane didn't mind. 

"So, where are we going after we do this for the Asari?"

"Why Vakarian? You have something in mind?" Shepard smiled and stepped back crossing her arms. 

"Me? Noooo. I mean I did have that discount at Azure but…" He said it with such a straight expression it made Shepard laugh a little louder than she had intended to.

"Azure huh? Hmm, that's tempting. But…"

"There's always a but…" He interjected. 

"But…. we are going to the Citadel after this. I have to meet with Udina, check on some supplies, and meet with Miranda."

Garrus looked shocked. "Miranda? I take it this is a very covert meet-up?"

Shepard nodded. 

"Well, keep me posted. I'm heading to the main battery. We had some problems with the forward guns outside of Tuchanka. I want to make sure everything is running smoothly in case we run into something."

Shepard nodded and took a deep breath, moving her head from side to side to pop her tense neck. This was going to be difficult if they were walking into what she thought. Poor Liara.


	22. Locked, Loaded, and Staring Down

The last few days had been hard. Liara went with Garrus and Shepard on the distress call only to find it was an Ardat Yakshi monastery. The commandos had been sent in to blow it up and had failed. Reapers had arrived and the only ones left were Samara, who had come to rescue her daughters, and her two daughters. By the end of it all, one daughter was left behind and alone while Samara was on her way to the Citadel.

Liara had seen the worst of what Reapers could do to her people and just kept denying it. Almost as if she knew it was there, acknowledged it, and then turned it off. As if the monastery was only that way because of the Ardat Yakshi. Then again, that was Liara. She had always seemed a bit removed from anything like that. Everything was academic to her. She was always the observer and always had a logical and reasonable calculation for why things were the way they were. 

What scared Shepard was that one day Liara was going to get hit with the fact that some things aren't academic. Some things can't be explained and some things were just horrific because evil was real. 

The Normandy had been asked to help with several small side issues that could gain them major footholds in the galaxy for the war. Needless to say Jane was tired. She was ready to get to the Citadel and have a few days of mandated leave for the crew. It would only be a few days, but the Citadel was still relatively untouched by the war, so it gave the crew a bit of relaxation even in the midst of the war. 

Jane was sitting on the sofa in her cabin, looking over a list of orders she was planning on dropping off at port. She found it was easier to take in all the orders, approve it all at once, and send it to be filled while they were in port. 

Garrus had left his order on the table and, as per usual, it was nearly all rifle related items or gear. She had just finished her order when she got a call from Joker.

"Commander, we can't raise the Citadel. I've been trying to get clearance to dock for half an hour."

Shepard was already in the lift and heading to the CIC. "I'll be there in a minute. Keep trying."

Shepard reached the cockpit in time to hear Jeff asking, yet again, for approval to dock. He turned to her and shook his head. Finally, he got in touch with someone. It was Thane. He told Joker that Cerberus had taken over the Citadel and communications with C-Sec were down. Shepard was turning and almost ran into Garrus.

"What's going on? I was talking back and forth with Adrian about coordinating some supplies and getting a docking bay set up for turian support. He went dark. I haven't been able to reach him in several hours." Garrus fell in line next to Shepard as they pushed through to the lift to gear up and get to the shuttle bay. Jane decided to answer him and call for a shuttle at the same time. She looked at him as she spoke into her coms. 

"Cortez, have James suit up and get a shuttle ready. The Citadel is under attack. Cerberus has taken over. Unknown approach options. I'm gearing up. Ten minutes until departure." She kept her eyes on Garrus as she spoke to Cortez.

They arrived at her cabin and began to suit up. She was moving in a daze and going off pure instinct. The sound of Garrus locking and loading his rifle snapped her out of it. She turned to see him geared up. They didn't say a word as they left the cabin and loaded onto the shuttle. 

The sound of gunfire could be heard before they even got to a landing area. Garrus told Cortez that the only reasonable area would probably be the C-sec landing zone. Shepard was thankful for three things right now. The first was having more than enough ammo to get through this. The second was having a former C-sec officer on her side that knew this place like the back of his hand. The third is how calm Garrus and James were being through this. 

Within the next few minutes they came in hot and fought there way through to Bailey. He was injured but alive. He got them in and got them in touch with Thane. After that things went so fast it was a blur. All Shepard knew is that they were about to step out onto the landing that held the council and Kaidan. They had Cerberus behind them. They didn't have time for bullshit. 

The doors opened and the first thing she saw was Kaidan with his gun drawn at her and hers was drawn down on Udina. Great. Just the bullshit she did not have time for. Thank the spirits she could talk him down and only Udina was hurt. She wasn't even sure how she did it. All she knew was that her finger was on the trigger, ready to go. Would she have shot Kaidan? That was a question she had to answer later. 

When it was all over, when the council was safe and the discussions were done, Shepard holstered her weapon and walked off for a minute. Garrus and James were answering questions from C-sec. When Garrus got done, he began looking around for her. He was stopped by Kaidan.

"Garrus? Can I speak to you for a minute?" Garrus turned to Kaidan as he took a deep breath. He wasn't sure he wanted to have this conversation right now, at all actually. It was going to happen though and he knew it.

"Hey Kaidan. Glad to see you up and around. I heard Mars was hell. Glad today turned out positive." Garrus went for his military side and stayed stoic but approachable. 

Kaidan smiled and kept his stoic military cool as well. "Thank you. It was not the best day of my military career. I know this isn't the time, but I wanted to ask you something. How serious are you and Shepard? I know there was something between you after Horizon." 

Kaidan paused and held his hands up in a bit of defense. "Don't get me wrong. I understand. I just wondered if it was a one time thing. I still care and…"

Garrus was turian. A bad a turian, in his own words, but still turian. If he wasn't sure how he felt about Jane yet, he damn sure knew now. His territorial instinct was starting to kick in. He kept it cool though. Bad breakups happened. People get hurt. It didn't make Kaidan a bad guy.

"We care about each other and we are figuring it out, Kaidan. That's really all I can say on it. Honestly, you need to speak to her about it. If you'll excuse me, I need to go." Garrus turned to leave and find Jane. He had an idea where she was. 

Kaidan stopped him. "Garrus, I don't want this to be an issue, but I still love her. I'm going to try."

Garrus didn't turn around. He stood still and felt his heart nearly stop. He thought, wanted to believe, that what he and Jane had was solid. He wanted to believe that they were good. Hearing Kaidan say that though, it shook him. 

"I wouldn't expect any less Kaidan. If I were in your shoes, I'd walk through hell to keep her. I did." 

Garrus didn't wait for a response. He just walked off to go find Jane. 

Kaidan stood on the platform. He was determined to make this right and get back what he had lost and what Cerberus had ultimately kept from him.


	23. Fountains of Memories

Garrus knew exactly where Shepard had gone. There was a spot, if you followed the Presidium lake down just at eye line with the fountains. He had shown it to her. You had to take some back entrances and stairwells to get there, but it was out of view from any passers by. He had shown it to her once. There was a breezeway access that only C-sec and Spectres could get to, but it was rarely used.

He made his way down the stairways and corridors, pushed past some of the broken doorways, and just as he suspected she was sitting on a set of rocks just off the breezeway. The water was gently lapping up onto the rocks below her boots. Her knees were up to her chest, arms wrapped around them. She wasn't tense. She wasn't anything really. She was just being quiet, lost in her own thoughts. 

Garrus stopped for a moment at the entry from the door to the breezeway. He watched as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and let the wind catch it up. If there was no war going on, no conflict, it would have been a peaceful image. He reached up, as he had done many times without her knowing, and clicked a button on his visor. He let the image catch, save, and cycle into a folder before he began his walk up to her.

"I heard there was a good fishing spot here. Two krogan gave me the info. Know anything about it?" He moved in across from her and sat on the ledge of the breezeway, one leg stretched out, looking off into the same direction she was. He didn't want to crowd her. What she had just been through was pretty mind numbing. Hell, he hadn't even been that close to Kaidan and it shook him a bit. 

A smile crossed Shepards face. She laughed that airy laugh she would give every now and then. "No, but maybe if we stay down here long enough we can find the spot."

There was a long pause. Garrus didn't know what to say or if he should say anything at all really. Shepard finally took a deep breath and began to speak. 

"After Saren was dead and the council met with the Alliance, I was given back the Normandy. You had already gone back to complete spectre training. Tali was with the flotilla. Liara was off doing whatever it is Liara does. Kaidan and I were dating. Nothing terribly serious just dating. He was put on the Normandy along with Joker and most of the crew."

Garrus leaned back and just listened. He could tell from the tone in her voice this was something that she had never shared with anyone. She took a breath and continued.

"We kept bunking together on occasion. If we were able to have shore leave we took it and acted like the normal couple, only to get back to the ship and have regs take over. The thing was we had already been cleared by Anderson. If we wanted to make it official, it was fine with the Alliance. The only change would be that Kaidan or I would have to make some adjustments. We may have to have a few weeks apart, or a duty that lasted 6 months, but nothing major."  
She shifted slightly and stretched her legs out over the rocks. "Even with approval he still kept things very formal. The only time it wasn't form was when the door was closed and even then, it was like he was always on his toes. Looking back on it, I'm not really sure why it didn't bother me."

There was a long pause and Garrus waited for her to speak. When she didn't, he decided to jump in.

"Haleyana and I knew each other from military training. It's a tradition, and in some clans of turians mandatory, to serve in the military. I met her during training. She wasn't particular good at any one thing because she was outstanding at everything. We got along well. After we were both done with our military tours we decided to make a go of it."

He chuckled and leaned back. "Our first apartment was...awful. Our command wasn't there and our parents weren't either so it was amazing. After a few months she started working as a nurse with the turian medic dispatch. They work with the military primarily, but as a civilian outpost unit. It started with subtle things at first. All new furniture to look good because someone may just stop by. Then it was hiding things we liked because "they weren't popular" or "well my friends don't really understand." I didn't think about it at the time because it was for her benefit and her career. It didn't bother me that the only time we were ourselves was when we were alone. It took a few years after we split up and she married a chancellor for me to realize that it damn sure should have bothered me but it didn't because deep down I knew she was the one at the time. Not the one of my life." 

Shepard watched him as he talked. She took in what he said piece by piece. She had to admire that he had moved on from it enough that he could still look back on it with fondness of some kind. She sighed and leaned back.

"Garrus, I never expected Kaidan to be a facet in my life again. Especially after Horizon. I don't know what to do with this. I care about him, but romantic viewpoints aren't there anymore. That was a different Shepard, somewhat literally as the case may be. Lazarus changed me. Not just physically in some respects, but emotionally. I don't remember anything. I was choking to death in space one second and then coughing on a medical table in the next. I remember nothing in between. It was just black. Just…." She noticeably shivered. 

Garrus stood up and began walking to her. She stood and turned her back to him and she looked out onto the fountains and water line. Garrus stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her pulling her to him. She could feel his warmth, his chest moving in and out as he breathed.

"He isn't a bad person Garrus."

He nodded. "I know, but Jane, he is going to try to win you back."

Jane leaned back and sighed as her eyes closed. "He is going to try to win Commander Shepard, defender of the Citadel, back. Not Jane."

Garrus nodded against her and sighed. It was funny to him how normal daily life still went on and even intruded even during a war. But this is what they were fighting for wasn't it? Love, life, friends, our past, our future. And he would fight, as much as he needed to on whatever battlefield it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So up next will be Kaidan joining the team, an appearance from Garrus' family, Victus, Wrex, and events in the storyline. Remember, we still have to get Tali, have shore leave, and loose Thesia. :) Thanks guys for being along for this ride. I appreciate it. Oh, and Kasumi, Miranda, and Jack will also be around.


	24. Talks with Friends and Cats up Trees

The destruction on the Citadel wasn't as bad as Shepard thought it was going to be. There were broken windows, and hundreds of injuries, but it could have been much much worse. The dead were mourned and buried within a few days of the attack. Even with that, there still didn't seem to be a realization that the war was even happening. It boggled her mind.

She had meet with Bailey, finished a few errands that gained support, and now was on her way to see Miranda. They had already met up twice. All Shepard knew was that Oriana had gone dark, Cerberus was hunting Miranda, and Miranda was trying to sort it all out. She had no idea what this meetup was going to be. It was the last thing she had to do before going back to the Normandy.

She looked at her omnitool for the room number Miranda had given her. Jogging up the stairs she found the room easily enough and used the key card she was given. The door opened and Miranda turned from looking out the window. 

"Shepard. Thank you for coming."

They spoke for a few minutes. Miranda asked her for access to Alliance files, which Shepard granted. They spoke for a few minutes about how Miranda fell terrible for choices she had made, or had thought about making. Shepard forgave her.

They stood at the window for a few minutes and Miranda spoke first. "Shepard can I ask you something personal?"

Shepard sat down at the table and smiled. "Sure. Ask away."

Miranda smiled and sat down on the bed, more relaxed that normal with her legs crossed. "Has he said he loves you? What I mean is… oh shit I'm awful at this. Has he...do you know how Turians handle relationships?"

Miranda stopped and got that look on her face. The one that was close to rolling her eyes. 

Shepard was trying to keep a straight face but her shoulders shaking was giving it away. She had moved her hand to her mouth to cover the laughter. She even put her hand up trying to apologize for laughing but couldn't do it. 

"I'm sorry...ask your questions." She was laughing at Miranda, but more for the way Miranda approached relationships and questions about them. It was all so to the point and clinical.

Miranda laughed a little and shook her head. "Well, has he?"

Jane took a sip of the beer Miranda offered her and swallowed as she shook her head. "Not in specific words no. But, I do know from the little research I have done that Turian's tend to approach that sort of thing much differently. They show actions of love, devotion, and commitment. The words are used but…"

Miranda cut in. "They are said, but not like humans do. They are very private, very personal, and very sparing. Saved for the most personal of moments. The reason I asked is because.."

Now it was Shepard's turn to kick in. "You're nosey as hell."

Miranda laughed a bit at that. "Well, yes, but also I didn't want you to start doubting him over something like that. He is a good man Shepard. From the bit I observed while serving with you he had your back. He covered you on the battlefield and off. He truly cared, even if just as a friend. Shepard, you rescued each other. I'm not sure you realize that. What I'm trying to say is, if you were going to be with anyone, if there was anyone I would fight for you to be with, it would be him."

Shepard nodded. "I appreciate that Miranda. Truly I do. It's been difficult in a way. Not for us per say. Just with everything going on. It seems like there seems to always a cat up a tree that if I don't go rescue we don't have the support we need for the war. Then when I get back from rescuing that cat, there's five more cats. He is there though. Everytime."

Miranda nodded. "Good. Everyone needs that Shepard. Everyone."

Shepard stood and smiled at Miranda hugging her, catching Miranda totally off guard. That made Shepard laugh a bit. 

"I have to go Miranda. Please let me know if you need more help. Send it through Liara if you need to. We have to go meet with the Quarians."

Miranda nodded. "Not sure how that will go for you Shepard. Good luck."

Shepard left and headed down the stairs towards the commons. She was hoping this went well. She knew they would likely have Quarian support, but she didn't like how this went down. The call was odd and frankly she hoped she wouldn't be dealing with the Quarians, Geth, and everything else. She wasn't sure where she would get the strength.


	25. Mending Bridges

Kaidan was standing at the docking bay entrance to the Normandy. He wanted to make sure he could talk to Jane without being interrupted. He knew she had checked on Thane and that he had passed peacefully. He knew she had visited someone in the apartments above the commons. She had also talked to someone about medical supplies, and wow he felt like a stalker. Truthfully he had viewed her public itenary in the spectre system. 

He finally caught sight of her walking towards the docking area. The doors opened and she smiled at him. 

"Kaidan, hey. I wondered where you went. What's up?."

He had a whole speech ready for her, but instead he got off on the topic of integrity. Did he act with integrity when he took out Udina. 

Shepard listened.

"If I hadn't backed down first, I feel like you would have taken me out."

Jane winced a bit. "I trusted you Kaidan. I knew you would listen."

Kaidan spoke for a bit longer then popped the question. Joining the Normandy. Jane agreed. The honesty of it was she had to think about the betterment of the mission. She needed what Kaidan could bring as a soldier. She needed him on her team, not just on a team. 

"Shepard, I want you to know I'll never doubt you again."

They shook on it and Kaidan turned. They walked onto the Normandy together talking. It was nice for a few minutes. She was catching him up on what had happened and what was about to happen.

"We received a call to go meet with the quarian fleet. They need us, but I'm not entirely sure why. I'm sure, though I'm hoping it doesn't, have to do with the geth. We have a few stops along the way that we need to take. In fact, I need to check in with Aria as well as Liara. They both have a major task they need me to hande. "

As they walked down the halls talking, Joker turned his chair. He saw them walk through the CIC and shook his head. He thought of Jane as a sister, and the brother in him wanted to beat the holy hell out of Kaidan. Well, if it wouldn't lead to him shattering into a billion pieces in a very dramatic way. He would talk to her later though. Oh yes, there would be severe talking. 

Joker watched as Jane paused in front of the map and Kaidan stood next to her. They were clearly talking about the next stops that were up as Jane pointed at the different areas of the map. That's when he saw it. A total facial expression change on Kaidan. A few minutes later he walked off the CIC and into the lift. Jane looked up at Joker and cringed a little as she started walking towards him. She got to the cockpit and actually took a seat next to him since EDI was handling things elsewhere in the ship.

Joker shook his head. "Young lady, you know there will be a talk when I am off duty."

That made Jane laugh a bit. "What did I do?"

"How about we start with the new addition to the crew? What is going on?"

Jane sighed and shifted a bit. She started playing and fiddling with something on the console in front of her. 

"He wanted to join the crew. I felt like it was a good option. He is a good soldier. He can handle himself on the battlefield. He…"

Joker jumped in. "He points his firearm at his former Commander, former fiance, and now current Commander. What?!? All admirable traits right? I get you. Continue."

Jane frowned at him and shook her head. "Just play nice. You two have never been the best of friends. I understand. He is here as a member of the crew. Nothing more."

Joker made a scoffing noise. "So, what did you say that made mister cut out of cream cheese upset?" 

She sighed "He asked if we could meet for dinner in the mess tonight. I told him that I wasn't sure. I was too comfortable and said the truth instead of the professional answer."

"The truth? So you told him that you would be rolling around with a half naked turian and couldn't make it for meatloaf surprise?"

Shepard laughed and caught herself. "Stoppppp. I wasn't that forward with him. I just told him that I needed to check in with a few people and Garrus and I had plans. Which is true. He has a plan that I am having my mandatory time to be left alone tonight. He still is on medical guard duty according to Chakwas."

She shifted in her chair. "He didn't like that. I think it was a bit of a shock. Anyway, he went to get his bags and items from the docking bay and move them into crew quarters."

Joker turned back to the console and nodded. Jane stood up and went to walk away. "Let me know when we get close to the fleet."

Joker called over his shoulder. "No problem. Just let me know if you need anything. Someone to talk to, bandages for when a turian takes that stick up his ass and beats a certain someone to death with it, cookies, milk, you know whatever."


	26. Love is battlefield

Garrus made his way to the main battery. He checked his personal messages hoping to see something from his father or sister, or both. There wasn't any news yet. He flipped through other messages, including news on battles and losses. He found one from Wrex. He had to laugh. Poor guy couldn't get away from the women now that the genophage was cured. Garrus felt good for Wrex. The genophage was cured and his people could thrive, assuming this war ended.

He flipped through more messages, deleting some and moving some. One stood out to him. It was from Victus. 

"Garrus, I'll be on the Citadel for a few days trying to work out support from the council. If you want to meet up to talk strategy or just for drinks I'd appreciate the company. I'm in the apartment that belongs to your father. The senator and his family set to take it over, well, they didn't make it. In any case, I'll be here. Stay safe, friend. Primarch Victus., Palavan High Command."

Garrus had to smirk. The closing was an automated closing. If he wanted to, he could set his outgoing mail to show his full title. It would take up four lines, but hey. 

He looked over the schedule for the coming days. They would be in Citadel dock for at least another two days, then they headed to the Quarian fleet, and if that went well back to the Citadel to bring the Quarians to the council. Garrus stood up and went to Shepard's quarters to change clothes. Even though he lived there now, it was still hard to wrap his mind around it being their quarters and not hers or the Commanders.

He changed into casual clothes and headed to the shuttle and docking bay. He caught up with Shepard in the med bay. She was talking to Chakwas about the medical supplies she managed to get. Chakwas looked up from her chair and smiled at Garrus.

"Garrus, I didn't realize you knew how to dress in anything that was issued." She laughed a little as he leaned against the wall.

"I have you know I have a very good sense of style. Most of the time. When I'm not being shot at. Did the supplies get here Doctor?" 

He smiled at Shepard who was already standing and moving towards him. It looked like the two women had been enjoying a drink together.

"They made it just fine Garrus, thank you. Commander, I'll leave you to your day. I have some supplies to inventory and sort out." Chakwas stood and moved towards the back of the med bay as Shepard and Garrus moved out the door and into the hall. 

Shepard smiled and gave him and up down look. "Where are you headed handsome?"

He laughed and looked around to make sure no one was paying attention. Leaning in, he touched his forehead to hers. "Adrian messaged me. I'm going to meet up with him on the Citadel and have a few drinks. I'll be back later. The guns are calibrated, spare parts haven't arrived yet, and unless there is an issue I'm free for a few hours."

Shepard nodded. "Just don't have drinks and blow off steam."

Garrus almost choked as he looked at her. "Oh ha, ha. Laugh it up. I'll see you later."

She nodded as the elevator doors shut. 

Within half an hour Garrus was walking up the stairs to his family's old apartment. He knocked and heard a muffled, "come in." Opening the door his first sight was a game of biotoball being played on the flat screen in the living room. He smelled food as he stepped in and closed the door.

"In the kitchen." He followed the voice and stopped at the bar area. Adrian was in casual clothing, data pads all over the place, and food was being heated up. Adrian picked up a piece of what looked like meat and took a bite.

"Food is terrible here. Always has been for us though. You want good turian food go to…"

"Omega." They both said at the same time and laughed. 

Adrian pointed to the living room and handed Garrus a beer. They sat down on opposite ends of the sofa watching the game for a few minutes before Adrian muted it.

Garrus smiled, "Why do I feel like I've been tricked in some way? Okay, spill it. What did I do?"

Adrian laughed, "Just a friendly talk that's all. What? You don't believe me? Come on. Seriously, just wanted to talk. How are you and Jane?"

Garrus rolled his eyes. "Here we go. The ex comes back so I must be worried to death in the corner."

Adrian looked at him and took a sip of beer. "Are you?"

Garrus messed with the label on his beer for a moment. There were twenty things he could say, but instead decided to just be brutally honest. Next to Jane, Adrian was the only one he knew he could trust totally and be himself with.

"I'm not worried. I'm not even concerned, at least not for Kaidan."

Adrian looked at him and if he could have raised an eyebrow, he would have. "What do you mean? Is there someone else causing issues?"

Garrus let out a small chuckle. "Yeah, me."

"You?" Adrian stood up and grabbed another beer.

"She's different Adrian. I knew getting into this with her that the differences between our races would show. I just always thought they would be personal. In the bedroom or they would be with having children, if we got to that point. I didn't stop to think about emotionally and how we handle relationships. I keep handling it the way I know how to and I feel like it's getting in the way somehow."

Adrian nodded and sat back down. "Okay, let me ask you this. Put it into a battle perspective. You need to win the battle. The prize is Jane. Look I know it's barbaric but we are a bit barbaric ourselves aren't we? So, let's go with this. We are soldiers. Think of it like a soldier. You are battling for Jane. What does he have in his artillery that you don't? Can you acquire the artillery he has? Do you know how to use it if you did acquire it? What training do you need?"

Garrus started chuckling a bit. Only a fellow turian and soldier would put it into battle scenarios. The truth was, it is how Garrus thought of things. Everything he tackled in life was for a battle. To win the battle. To put the odds back in his favor. 

"I've never been good at relationships, Adrian. I didn't date much in my younger years. I was a gun geek and a gaming geek. I preferred reading or going to the range over drinking and clubs. I had one serious relationship that was filled with a lot of hard lessons. When Jane came along, I was at C-sec. I was battling Saren. Then by the time Jane.."

He paused for a second and his eyes grew dark. He shook it off and continued. "Had her accident, I was too late realizing how I felt for her. Then by the time she came back in my life I didn't feel worthy. I had left C-Sec, left the spectre training program, gone vigilante… I wasn't worthy of her. Yet, she felt I was. She gave me the chance. When people see us, they wonder how a turian like me got her. I don't know Adrian. She's something amazing and special and I'm...not."

Adrian nodded. "Okay, now that you are done with your self loathing, let's take a moment of silence for your pouting. Done? Good. The truth is you do have her. Period. Doesn't matter how. What does matter is keeping her. So you got tired of the bullshit and left. Good! C-Sec is full of shit. Spectre training? Why? So you can do what you want until someone doesn't want you doing what you want. Same bullshit. Vigilante? Again, good. You did good work Garrus."

Adrian took a sip of his beer and shook his head. "That's my point! You did good work Garrus. You got the job done in the way it needed to be done with or without the proper channels. So, why is Jane any different?"

Garrus looked a little shocked. He didn't expect this bluntness from Adrian, though he probably should have. He went to open his mouth to speak and Adrian raised a finger. 

"Don't open that mouth UNLESS you plan on answering my previous line of questioning. Go ahead. I'll wait. I literally have hours to wait on this." Adrian waved his hand for Garrus to continue.

Garrus took a deep breath, finished his beer, got up, grabbed another one, and came back to the sofa. He cracked the beer open and took a large sip. 

"He has history with her."

"So do you."

Garrus blinked. "Are you going to respond to each and every point?"

"If I feel so inclined, yes." Adrian sat back with a look that said continue.

Garrus sighed. "He knows how to express how he feels in a way she is used to. He has the cultural aspects and species aspects. He can give her what she needs on those levels. No awkwardness with words and feelings."

Garrus looked awkward. He didn't usually talk like this. Good. Adrian liked putting people in this position. It was keeping things bottled up, especially concerns, that rose up on a battlefield and caused hesitation.

Adrian went to interject, but Garrus kept going. Adrian smiled. Now we were getting to it.

"He's gentle with her. He understands human jokes that I don't. He has compassion. He sticks to his guns. He stays loyal. He…"

Adrian raised his hand. "Let me stop you there and interject an outsiders view if I may."

Garrus nodded and leaned back. Preparing for the make yourself a better man speech. That isn't at all what he got.

"Let's just mark loyalty off shall we? He is loyal to one thing and always will be. The Alliance. His loyalty on a personal level comes second, in some cases last, depending on the tides. If the Alliance told him to pick between Jane and his career, he would choose his career. He may offer to keep Jane silent and on the side, but his career would come first. His expression of feelings. Yeah, he does do that all right. No one who knew would have any misunderstanding about his feelings for her and her past since Lazarus would they? So, yes he does have that. Cultural and social aspects? Okay, he understands it but he doesn't put it into action. He has an academic and military view of life Garrus. He doesn't have the practical experience and doesn't seem to want to get it. He stays shielded. That doesn't make him a bad person. It does make me want to recruit him for the turian army. Now, as for you."

Garrus went to speak and Adrian stopped him. "You don't seem to understand what you are bringing to this, so let me inventory for you."

"You aren't her species, you aren't used to human interaction, you aren't very social outside of the military and you can't give her a biological family. You have stumbling blocks." Adrian took a sip of his beer.

Garrus shook his head. "Yep, no talk like a you suck pep talk. Thanks for this. I'm going to go back to the Normandy and figure out the most effective way to end it all. You've been wonderful. Good times."

Adrian chuckled. "Wait for it. You've seen good and bad Garrus. You gave up so much for your mother when she was sick. You watched her die. You went to Omega and saved more lives than you took. I looked into it. You set up a safe house for homeless children. You set up another one for quarians on pilgrimage that was a safe spot for them to sleep and eat. You helped families that needed it. You have compassion for people in general. You fight for them, not for the people over them,"

He finished off the beer and leaned back. "You can understand her. You understand the nightmares. You understand what it's like to feel like everyone in your life is against you and all you have is that last bullet. You don't know how to express yourself? So fucking learn, man. You don't know how to make sure she knows how you feel? Figure it out! You don't understand some aspects of her culture? Ask, learn, figure it out. For spirits sake though stop fucking getting videos from that pilot. Those are porn. They don't work the same. Look for other ways Garrus. Figure it out. You have HER figured out. My god, do you even notice that she is one of the only humans I know that says SPIRITS when she is pissed? You have her on the line Garrus, now break through the last artillery line and get her."

Garrus sighed. "I'm just worried that I'll do all of this and his history will actually win out. I just want something to go right, Adrian. Just once."

Adrian nodded. "And there it is. All of that to get to this. You want something to go right. You've chosen the thing you want to go right. Not your career, not the war. Her. You want this with her to go right."

Garrus nodded. 

"Then, my friend, keep doing what you do. Keep being you. Don't force it. Let her in Garrus. All the way in. Trust me. She's what you will have after this war. She's what will be there when that rifle of yours is long since retired. Let. Her. In. As difficult as it is. Do it."

Garrus nodded again. He shivered a little and shook it off. "Okay can we watch the game now. I'm feeling weird."

Adrian laughed and turned the volume back on and started laughing. "You know what's funny? You can stare down a brute. You can lead a charge against the worst things this war has to offer."

"How the spirits is that funny?" Garrus took a sip of his beer and waited.

"You can do all that and a 5"6 human female scares the shit out of you."

Garrus swallowed hard and shook his head. "You've never seen her angry face."

They both laughed and finished watching the game. By the time he left, he knew exactly what he was going to do.


	27. Far Rim Ghosts

Jane was in the shuttle bay when Joker notified her of the ETA to the Far Rim and the diplomatic frigate carrying the Quarians. She, James, and Cortez were just chatting and relaxing a bit. To be honest Shepard liked going to the shuttle bay when Garrus was busy or Liara was stuffed in her notes and books. It was relaxing, nothing was expected of her. She wasn't the Commander there. She was just a soldier and she liked that. 

"So, Lola what's the deal with this meetup? Is the fleet going to help?" James was shining his boots while sitting on his cot. He could have bunked in the crew quarters, but he and Cortez didn't like the crowd of people and crewman in and out all the time. 

"Don't know. Initially we were told that the fleet had our backs. Now, I'm not so sure. We received word they were in trouble, but we haven't been able to pick up any evidence of reapers yet. I have no idea what we are walking into."

She stood up and headed to the war room to wait on the diplomatic arrival. She didn't like this. The last thing she needed was to deal with geth in the middle of a reaper invasion. She hoped it wasn't that far gone. Unfortunately, she was about to find out exactly what was going on. 

Admirals Raan, Gerrel, and Koris filed into the war room and began to explain the situation. All Shepard could do is shake her head. It amazed her that the quarians caused this hot mess, took no responsibility for it really, and then kept throwing themselves back into it. Shepard looked up from the console when she heard the word murder.

"It wasn't murder. We didn't try to murder them. We tried to deactivate them. We never intended on making an AI." Raan stopped talking and the diplomacy that Shepard worked so hard to control came out.

Garrus was standing at the entryway getting ready to walk in when he saw "that look" on Jane's face. 

"First of all it WAS attempted murder. Period. You can call it deactivation but at the end of the day it still kills them pretty fucking effectively. Second, you weren't intending on making an AI? What the hell did you think was going to happen when you people started this?"

Garrus smirked. The war was killing Jane's diplomacy, of which she had very little anyway, and was bringing out Jane in all her glory. He was so proud of her in that moment. He loved this side of her. He stood, arms crossed and leaning a shoulder on the entryway.

"It's all history Commander. The point is we are taking back our homeworld. We've run into a problem." Gerrel brought up an image showing a dreadnaught and flashing lights. 

Shepard sighed and shook her head. "The reaper signal. Beautiful. Let me guess, you want me to get you out of this in exchange for the fleet. Am I right?"

It was Koris that spoke. "We may have very well put our people to death with this endeavor Shepard."

Shepard glared at him and looked back at Raan. "What do you purpose, Admiral?"

The word Admiral had a distinct anger and disgust to it. It didn't go unnoticed. Garrus took a quick picture of her with his visor and sent it to Victus with a tagline "her angry face."

Victus responded. "I understand the fear now. If you need an evac I'll have one on standby."

Garrus chuckled and held it in as he continued to listen from his corner of the war room. 

Raan cleared her throat and pointed at the dreadnaught. "Board the dreadnaught and disable the signal. It will send the geth fleet into complete disarray."

Shepard took a deep breath. 

Raan continued. "Our newest admiral will assist."

Shepard saw Garrus in the doorway. He nodded his chin up, not changing his relaxed stance. Jane turned around just in time to see the new Admiral enter the room.

"Admiral Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy reporting for duty."

Garrus nodded approvingly. A message came through from high command. Shepard saw him scan it briefly and hold his hand up to let her know he was going to answer it. He turned to leave as Jane and Tali made their way to the conference room.

Tali explained her viewpoint of the war and then made it clear she had to play professional around the other admirals. Shepard nodded and patted her shoulder. "We can meet up after we take down the dreadnaught."

Tali nodded. "It's good to see you Jane."

Jane smiled and headed to her quarters to suit up.

Garrus was waiting for and already suiting up. Jane came in, waited for the door to close, and looked at him.

He chuckled a little. "Oh come on. You knew the geth had to figure into this somehow. Glad Tali is here though."

He was snapping his armor plating over his boots as he spoke. Jane walked past him to her armor locker and started to take out her gear. She put it on the bed, like she always did, and looked at Garrus.

"How could they do this? How could they pick now to do this? And why am I their last hope? Why am I anyone's last hope?!? Why do I have to be everyone's fucking savior?!?" She was getting increasingly angry and tossing her gear on the bed. The metal plates clinking together roughly. 

She turned to grab her boots and felt Garrus behind her. His hands on her hips guiding her back up to a standing position. He turned her into him and hugged her. "You're good at what you do. People see that."

She stood in his arms for a second. She was thinking of the things she could say. Before she knew it, she was just speaking. Garrus brought that out in her. Their trust in each other.

"Yeah, I'm so good at what I do that I couldn't even save a kid. I couldn't even save...a kid." She pushed her fist into his chest, pulled back and opened her palm. She laid her hand over his heart and just stood there feeling the odd beat.

He moved them to the bed. She protested a little and he gave her a soft shhh.

"They've waited 200 years, they can wait ten more minutes. What do you mean you couldn't save a kid? What are you talking about?"

Jane took in a deep breath and told Garrus about the little boy in that air shaft. The one that hours before had been playing on a rooftop and just a few hours later was dead thanks to the reapers. She told him about the nightmares she had been having. How just the sight of a grey hoodie made her cringe. When she was done, she had someone ended up sitting on his lap, looking at her hands, his arms around her.

Garrus took in a deep breath and ran his talons through her hair. "On Omega, there was this orphan kid. Human. He hung out mostly with the baterian kids and a few of the quarians. He always wanted to help. Anything he could do. He was in his mid-teens so I didn't think anything of it. We had him doing running for us, nothing illegal, just notes and that sort of thing. He would also act as a lookout. I had sent him to go handle a quick run."

He stopped and chuckled a little, running his talons over one specific strand of hair. His eyes focused intently on it. "I sent him to go grab everyone lunch. Even gave him the keys to my skycar. When I got back, the day Sidonis turned, the first thing I saw was my skycar. It was wrecked into the warehouse wall. I drew my gun, came around, and saw him. He had been shot several times, slumped in the seat, to food order next to him."

Jane looked at him and touched her hand to his scarred cheek. She went to speak and he shook his head. 

"Nah, it's fine. I wanted you to know you aren't alone in that. Hell, Adrian moved a group of turian kids during the first attack. We got them into a bunker we thought was safe. The reapers attacked. The bunker was set on fire. Everyone in it dead. You are triggered by grey hoodies. I still can't eat a turian noodle soup and sandwich. Victus can't see a campfire without shivering. We all have our demons and ghosts. It doesn't make you a bad soldier. It makes you a person who has a past, for good or bad. You tried to help him Jane and that's more than most people would do."

Jane sat there looking at him for a second. He kissed her cheek and rubbed her arm. Moving his talon up to her neck he pulled on the chain that held the angel wing he had given her, what seemed like a lifetime ago. He smiled at it. FInally he pat her hip and pushed her up. 

"Okay, now let's go fix this hot mess before they decide to spread this fuckery they have started."

Jane smiled and finished gearing up.


	28. Red Tape and Mag Boots

Garrus, Shepard, and Tali stood in the airlock waiting to board the dreadnaught. Jane didn't like this at all. To be honest none of the three of them looked all that comfortable with it. The Normandy was stealthed while geth and quarians battled it out. Joker let them know there was no way they were getting in that way. Shepard didn't think about it before she announced that she would go secure the airlock. 

Garrus just stared at her and when Joker cut off coms he spoke. Tali began talking to Raan and figuring out what area would be the best to have Shepard approach. As she did, Garrus pulled Shepard to him. 

"Let me do it. I've done the mag boot thing before. I can handle it."

Jane shook her head. "I've got this. Really, I do. I need to face it sooner or later right?"

Garrus shook his head. "No. When people talk about facing fears we mean the fear of swimming because we are going to a lake house for the summer. The fear of being rejected. The fear of public speaking. There is nothing that says you have to face your fear or zero gravity outside of a secure ship with only mag boots keeping you from death while you relive your death. Yeah, no."

Shepard smiled a bit. It was that smile that she got when she was about to do what she had planned on doing anyway. And yep, there she went to get her mag boots on. 

Even Tali had to laugh a bit when she saw Garrus fully roll his eyes. He threw his hands up and turned to Tali. "She never listens. Talk to her, Tali."

Tali shook her head. "Why? So we can both agree that she ignores us?"

Shepard got the boots on and stood by the airlock door. "How about this big guy. I stay connected to you through a private com link. I feed music in to keep me calm. I connect to Tali and the Normandy on another com link. That way if I do panic you are there to talk me through. I have my music…"

Tali interrupted for a moment. "Wait?!? You BOTH listen to music during firefights and fighting?"

They both turned and in one movement nodded. Tali shook her head and muttered something that sounded like "creepy."

Garrus shook his head and started pressing buttons on the side of his visor. "Channel 9, link it up."

His voice was total military at that point. She was going to do it anyway, he might as well handle it so she was comfortable even though this was ripping him up inside making him want to shake her. 

She nodded and went into the same mode. A few beeps later she nodded. "Linked."

She held onto the door jam as they got into place and lined up the airlock. She heard Garrus in her ear. "Which playlist? Mine or yours?"

Jane smirked. "They are pretty much the same. Just no battle hymn of the turian nation okay?"

He chuckled. "How's this?"

The music started to play through. It was from her old Earth music playlist. Agent Provocateur. Red Tape. She nodded. "Nice choice Vakarian. Drowns out my screams."

He stood straight up and moved to her as she started laughing. "It was a joke. Just a joke. Sorry." She put her hands up defensively as Tali laughed.

Garrus shook his head. "Not funny Shepard."

"Commander, we're ready." Joker's voice came over as Jane got into place. She noticed that Joker sounded like Garrus looked. Tense, eager to get this over, worried. She figured it had to be worse on Joker. He was the one that was reliving it with her.

It took Jane a few seconds to get orientated before she could start walking. A steps into it she caught sight of the dreadnaught.

"That thing is enormous." It really was too. She stared at it for a moment before she kept moving. She reached a specific part and a piece broke off. She almost lost her balance.

Garrus was leaning in watching her through a port window. He had tapped Joker into the private line just in case. He heard the pilot breath in. They both were staring at Jane. Waiting. The only thing Garrus could think was to get her talking. 

"Pumpkin ale." It was such an odd statement it made Jane breath again and Joker raise an eyebrow.

Jane responded. "What?"

Garrus leaned in, even though Joker could hear him and Tali could as well, he acted as if he was whispering in Jane's ear. 

"Pumpkin ale. They are supposed to be making a dextro option. Figured we could pick some up at Purgatory next time we are there." Joker had to hand it to the big guy, he knew how to say everything in something totally unrelated. 

A few seconds later Shepard responded. "Are you turning basic bitch on me big guy?" Garrus could hear her mag boots clicking. She was moving again.

"Maybe, but if I start carrying around a dog in a bag and wearing capris you'll need to stop me."

Everyone laughed a bit and Garrus heard Jane sigh, letting out that tension she was holding.

Joker's voice cut in. "So you don't want to solo the dreadnaught then?"

"Not if I can help it." There was a relaxation in her voice that put all of them at ease. 

They agreed to find another way in. As they waited Tali moved over to Garrus and touched his arm. "You okay?"

He nodded at her and touched his hand to hers patting it. "I'm fine. But, Tali. If my girl died because of your people's stupidity I'll never forgive them."

Tali nodded. "Agreed."


	29. Taking Fire

Joker threw his com set off and onto the console. The sound of a helmet being thrown across the shuttle bay nearly defeaned him. He winced and shook it off as he put the earbud back in. He could hear cussing and words he hadn't heard since flight school. Once Tali calmed down he could hear Garrus and Shepard. 

"Did you crack it?" Shepard asked Garrus about the helmet he had damn near ripped off and chunked down the hallway of the shuttle area. The anger in her voice, not directed at the hulkinly mad turian, was evident.

"Hated it anyway." Was the only response she heard as she watched him fume and pace between two shuttles. He kept clenching his fists and letting them go. He finally turned suddenly and punched Vega's punching bag so hard the chain broke and the bag flew a few feet. 

Jane stood up and walked over to him. James began to run up and Shepard held her hand up to him for him to stop. She heard Cortez talking to him and caught the words "shot at the dreadnaught" and "they were on it."

Tali looked at Shepard and Garrus and simply said she was sorry. "I'm going to speak with Raan. I'm, I'm sorry."

Garrus called after her. "Tali! It wasn't your fault. Remember, they shot at you too. Think about that."

Tali nodded and stepped into the elevator as Jane put her hand on Garrus' chest. She turned to him and he started to calm down a bit. She waited for him to speak. 

"They…"

She interrupted. "Shot at us. I know big guy."

He shook his head and broke free of her to start pacing again. "No! They shot at YOU. Fuck me okay. Fuck me. Fuck Tali. Fuck that dreadnaught. Fuck their war. Fuck the geth. They shot at YOU!!!" He turned and balled up his fist and began to aim it at a crate. 

Jane took three strides and put her hand in front his fist. "Hey! Stop busting up my ship you big angry asshole. I get it. They shot at me. I'm not dead. I'm fine."

He glared at her. "What if they got you? What if Legion hadn't been there? What if.."

He cut himself off. He grit his teeth, which Jane thought must have been painful, and looked to the side at the ground. Jane reached her hand up and cupped his cheek.

"Hey? Hey. I'm good. We're good. Right?" She waited and he nodded. She leaned up on her tiptoes to touch her forehead to his. He met her halfway, placing his hand on her hip. He nuzzled her a second and whispered to her.

"Go kick their ass. I have to fix Vega's punching bag." He shook his head and smiled a bit at the last part, bringing his hands up to rub her upper arms.

She nodded. "You got it big guy."

Shepard left to the sounds of Vega approaching Garrus and asking him if he wanted to spare and get it out of his system. She heard Garrus say yes and caught him taking off his armor as she rode the lift to the CIC and war room.

Tali was still in a meeting with the admiralty board when Jane reached the war room. She took the moment to speak to Hackett, who was equally unpleased at the firing on the dreadnaught maneuver Gerrel had done. 

"I'm going to make the choice that's right for this mission and will lead to us getting more support Admiral. Tell me if you want me to hold off." Jane stood at ease and waited.

Hackett looked like he was thinking it over for a moment. "Gerrel has been causing problems for years. Do what you have to do Shepard. Hackett out."

Shepard turned around and made her way out of the vidcom room. She made it down the steps and overheard the argument between Raan and Gerrel. Gerrel looked up at Shepard as she came in view.

"The parameters of the mission changed. You understand that Shepard." 

Shepard moved quickly to him and stood in front of him. "You endangered your people and the mission Gerrel."

He went to respond and frankly Jane didn't wait. She punched him dead in the stomach. "Admiral, get off my ship!"

Raan stepped in to try and calm Shepard down. It didn't go far or well. Jane pushed the conversation forward, with some help from Legion. Within a few minutes they had decided that Shepard would help Koris and finish the geth in one way or another, freeing Rannoch for the quarians. 

Within a few hours they had rescued Koris, though his team was lost to the geth. As Tali said, at least they died on their homeworld. 

Shepard had taken James and Tali with her for the rescue mission. It was rough on Tali, but Shepard couldn't help but agree with James. Tali had walked off when they got back to the Normandy and as she exited the room James looked a little upset.

"What's up?"

James turned and leaned on the table. "Lola, it's… can I speak openly?" Jane nodded and James shook his head.

"We come out here to get help from the fleet. We walk in and they have started a war, broken a treaty, and gotten in way over their heads. All they seem concerned with though is using Legion as a science experiment and getting their asses out of yet another fire they created. Sparks is all but shut down if they are around. She's not herself. Now, she's getting a planet back while we are losing our own more and more each day. It's like it hasn't touched the quarians."

Jane nodded. "Yeah, I know it's tough, but…"

James cut her off. "Look Jane, we hang out when we aren't all uniformed up. We've drank together. We've partied together. You know that isn't my only issue. What really burns me up is that we keep being reminded that they lost Rannoch 200 years ago. No! They left it. They didn't have it ripped from them in a blink of an eye. They didn't watch friends get killed. They didn't….They just didn't Jane."

Jane reached out and patted James' shoulder. "I know. I know it's hard to grasp. Believe me if this war weren't going on and if we didn't need them I would be damned if we would help with this. I care about Tali. Tali is a friend. Tali doesn't agree with this war. Please keep that in mind."

He nodded and looked at her. "Garrus headed up for a shower about an hour ago. Thought you'd wanna know."

Jane nodded and left him to it. She stopped by to talk to Cortez, convincing him to take a break and go to the Citadel the next time they were docked. 

She made a quick stop by the crew deck. As she came around the corner, she saw something she never expected. Sitting in the mess area were Kaidan and Tali. They were talking in hushed voices. From what Jane could tell, Kaidan was comforting Tali about the loss of her friends and the war she never wanted to fight. Jane nodded as she saw Kaidan reach out for Tali's hand. Good deal.

She turned to go up to her quarters. She needed a shower and to take in a few moments before they went off to rescue the mess that the quarians had gotten themselves into. She also needed to check on Garrus. There was a joke that he had taken the stick out of his ass and started beating people to death with it. Unfortunately, that meant that he was likely beating himself up too.


	30. Words not Required

The doors opened to Jane's quarters and she caught eye of Garrus. Poor guy. He was laid out on the sofa, a bottle of turian beer opened next to him with maybe a sip missing. He was in a pair of what Jane could only describe as sweat pants and no shirt. He was out like a light. He must have been waiting on her to come back. She decided not to disturb him as she headed to the shower. 

Her clothes fell into a pile on the tiled floor and she glanced in the mirror. Her face was streaked with dirt and sweat from Rannoch. She looked older, probably from the stress. She leaned in and really looked at herself. Her first thought was there was nothing that a few days of no war and a trip to a day spa couldn't fix. Maybe Liara would like to go with her, or Miranda. Not Jack surely. Tali, well she wasn't sure if they had anything like that for Tali. The image of Eve in a day spa made her shake her head and smile to herself.

She moved into the hot streams of water and closed her eyes. Letting her head move side to side as the water washed the dirt and grime from her slowly. She put her hands in front of her on the tile wall and leaned letting the water hit the back of her neck. She jumped slightly when she felt two hands on her hips. 

There were no words. There didn't need to be. Not with them. She felt Garrus move as close as he could to her. His talons ran up her back slowly, teasingly. She loved how he explored her. How his hands felt on her. How everything was tender at first. 

He slowly raised her up with a soft tug and ran his hands around her front. He cupped her breasts gently kneading them along with the hot water that rushed against her. He let his right hand move down her chest to her flat stomach, along a scar that not many knew she even had leftover from Lazarus. She gasped and pushed her head back against his upper chest when she felt a talon slowly and lightly graze her inner thigh.

She couldn't help but open her legs slowly at his coaxing hand. He moved slowly, almost painfully slowly, before finally running the knuckle of his finger against her clit. She gasped again and grabbed onto a soap dish attached to the wall. She heard him softly chuckle in her ear.

He leaned in and whispered, "That's my girl," as he gently rubbed her. 

Her hips were moving against him, grinding to the rythem he was setting for her. She could feel his plates move and feel his cock rub against her. He growled in the back of his throat making his chest rumble against her back. She was so close.

"Garrus. I...I" She gasped and immediatly felt him pull his hand away. He turned her, grabbing her and causing her to momentarily blinded by the water running down her head and into her face. She felt the wall against her back and his hands grip her hips as he picked her up. She gasped and felt his cock press against her. He grunted as he thrusted into her in one long deep, but slow, thrust. 

He was buried to the hilt in her warmth. His arms went around her as the thrusted in and out. He groaned and growled against her neck, gently nipping at it and licking it as her hips thrusted back to him. All that could be heard were the sounds of growling, grunting, and moans inside the splashes of the hot water. 

Garrus grabbed her tightly, burying his head into her shoulder as he shuddered in her and she in turn shuddered around him. Gripping each other in the hot water, breathing heavily. Her legs began to drop and he shook his head no. Grabbing the relaxed leg and pulling it back up around him. He didn't move his head. Just stayed buried in her and around her as deeply as he could. 

Her breathing returned to normal and after a few moments so did his. He let her down slowly and turned off the water. Reaching for a towel he dried her first, even her hair. She smiled at him the whole time before doing the same for him.

They walked into the sleeping area. Garrus laid on the bed drawing her to him.

"You know we'll be expected shortly to save the quarians and stop the geth." Jane said nuzzling him.

He nodded."Yes, but not right now." His hands rested against her, taking in the moment that thanks to the quarians he almost didn't have.


	31. Beachfront Property

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for all of the support so far. I know this is a shorter chapter than I normally do. I have been balancing a lot personally lately. But....chapters are coming :) I hope you like this one. It's just a small interlude. The next story to tackle may be in several parts. I'm about to hit the Citadel "dates" and meetups, Sanctuary, The Fall of Thesia, and then Shore Leave. Hope you like it! You can also follow me on Twitter (link is in the bio here) to see when I'm uploading, share your thoughts, or just to connect.

"Upload the code to th Geth. Tali, call off the fleet if you can." Jane's heartbeat was about to break through her chest. She had Tali standing next to her trying to call off the fleet. Legion in front of her uploading the code at 40%. So, she did what she always did. She rallied.

"If you believe in them for just one minute this war will be over. You have a choice. Please. Keelah'se'lai." She stood holding her breath. If Garrel didn't listen. If he kept firing…

"All units. Hold fire." 

She let the breath out she was holding. Blinking once, she looked at Legion who had just said there was an error in uploading.

"Shepard Commander, I must go to them. It's the only way."

WIthin a few moments Raan, a geth representative, Tali, and Shepard stood to witness peace in action. 

Shepard walked over to Tali as Raan and the geth discussed locations for settlement. 

They sat down looking at her waterfront property. Tali announced she would be coming with Shepard. They talked it over and Jane ended up agreeing. She honestly couldn't imagine facing the rest of the war without her. They stood and made their way back to the Normandy. As the shuttle moved into the shuttle bay, Jane had to smile a bit. Waiting in the window of the Engineering deck was Kaidan. He did a small finger wave at Tali as she disembarked the shuttle. 

There was a small part of Jane that was reminded that Kaidan rarely was waiting on her when she got back from a mission. She always had to search him out. The thought evaporated quickly. She had her back turned picking up some of her gear off the floor of the shuttle when she caught the smell of sandalwood and heard a deep voice behind her.

"Excuse me? Do you by chance see a human spectre and disgraced Commander Shepard on the planet surface? She said she was going out real estate hunting and I haven't heard from her."

She loved that side of him. He could sound totally serious and yet, if you knew him well enough, you caught only the humor.

Jane picked up her helmet and turned around. "You know I think I saw that woman down there. She seemed like a real bitch. You sure you're missing her? I mean I could take her place big guy."

Garrus crossed his arms and jutted out that hip in the way he did that drove her crazy. He shook his head and stepped towards her. 

"Oh, I don't know. She brings a lot to the table. Commander, Spectre…"

She moved into his space and smiled with one hand holding her uniform jacket and her other hand holding her helmet. "Disgraced. She's a disgraced Commander. Just ask the news caster on the Citadel announcements."

Garrus leaned in and kissed her cheek, leaned up and brushed his forehead to hers, then grabbed her helmet. Switching it to his left hand he put his right arm around her shoulders as they walked out of the shuttle and into the bay.

"So, geth and quarian peace huh? When you set out to do something you really nail it." They stepped into the lift. As the doors closed Shepard smiled to herself.

 

"Well, I set out to do you and I'd say I nailed…."

Garrus chuckled and nudged her arm. "Stop it. You have three vidcom's pending along with about 400 messages to clear. You also have range time and a few other things to handle."

She stepped out of the lift at the Captain's Cabin and turned to him. "Coming?"

He handed her the helmet and pushed the buttons. As the door closed he winked. "I thought we just discussed that."


	32. Dates, Truths, and Wind

Jane showered and came out to a hot cup of coffee. She didn't bother changing out of her robe and into regular clothes. She knew she wouldn't be bothered, her big mean turian bodyguard would see to that. She also knew that she was facing a huge amount of messages on her private terminal. She sat down with her coffee, took a deep breath, and began clicking through everything. She had a system going at this point. Read and delete all the news first, then start on correspondence from Hackett. Those two steps would weed out half the messages.

It took her about an hour to get that far and finally get to the personal messages. One from her mother appeared. It was very typical Hannah Shepard. To the point, professional, and asking what she thought she should be asking as a mother. Jane responded in kind. It was there way. Nothing too terribly personal or emotional. Simple answers for simple questions. 

The next message was from Adrian. It was simple, just asking if they would be taking any time on the Citadel, when, and if she and Garrus would like some downtime. He had relocated there since they pulled back from Palaven and began moving towards Earth. She responded and told him when they should be arriving and they would love to have some downtime with someone who "understood."

She had messages from various crew members needing some of her time. Liara wanted to meet up for lunch. Tali did as well. She was supposed to go see Grunt. The list went on and on. She had already had a chess game with Samantha, met with James about the N7 program, and talked to Cortez about going to the remembrance wall.

The next message she received was from Kaidan. He wanted to meet for lunch as well. She had already responded to everyone and decided to tell Kaidan they could meet one of the days they were on the Citadel. She left him a choice of several days and times. A few weeks ago she would have avoided this like the plague. The truth was, she had seen him around Tali so much lately, and he had virtually left her alone, so she thought it would be fine. He had moved on, she hoped.

The final message was from Garrus. She looked puzzled as she opened it. He didn't usually send correspondence through her terminal. Usually he just told her what he had to say. The message was brief. He wanted to meet up on the Citadel for some downtime. He made it a point to write a second message that said to dress casual. She didn't respond. She decided to respond by showing up instead.

After updating her omnitool with all the appointments she had, lunch dates, and everything else in between she contacted Joker.

"Jeff? When are we set to arrive at the Citadel?"

There was a pause and she heard him come across the coms. "ETA one hour. We should be arriving early afternoon cycle, Commander. You meeting up with Garrus? Hotel room maybe? Chicka Chicka bow wowwww."

He was halfway through the second chica when Jane started shaking her head side to side, eyes closed, letting out an audible sigh.

"We are meeting up yes. Could you let Liara and Tali know that I responded to them? Also, when we dock, could you get me a taxi to…"

She was cut off by Jeff. "A taxi to luxury hotel accomodations fit for a spectre? Sure. Do you and Garrus want.."

"Stop it. Stop it now." She was trying not to laugh.

"California King. Got. Garrus is a big guy. You want room to move. See ya Commander." He didn't wait for a response. 

Jane shook her head and got dressed. She wasn't sure what Garrus had planned but he was the first on her list to meet up. She wanted to make sure she had plenty of time with him. Everyone else got what was left. When they docked with the Citadel, Jeff came over her personal com.

"Commander, I'm patched into Citadel traffic control. Do you want that taxi? Garrus already took a shuttle and is waiting for you at the docking bay."

Jane looked away from her reading tablet and smiled. "Joker how did you know...nevermind. No, if he is waiting I'll meet him there."

"Understood."

Her com went down and she finished getting ready. A few minutes later she was exiting the airlock and heading into the docking area of the Citadel. She could see him waiting at a skycar parking area in the docking area. He was dressed casually, at least for him. She had decided to wear a pair of black leggings, and her N7 hoodie and tank. It was casual, comfortable, and if she saw anyone she looked somewhat above the "I don't give a hell" point.

She smiled as she walked up. He moved out of his leaning position and smiled as he walked to her. "Shepard. Glad you came."

Jane smiled at the slight bit of formality Garrus was showing. She mentioned them checking out the bar and he told her that he had thought of it, but he actually wanted to remember the day. He moved and escorted her to the skycar he had rented. She heard a small beep and the passenger door opened. 

"Garrus, what do you have planned?" She raised an eyebrow but let him play the gentleman and help her into the skycar. He winked as her door closed and walked to the drivers side. He stepped in and shut the door.

He drove for a bit before Jane moved her hand to his thigh. They had been in a few sky cars together, but not since they were officially together. She wasn't really sure if touching him like this was normal, okay, or if turians even did that sort of thing. It was one of those normal daily life occurrences that most people took for granted, but in their line of work, she and Garrus rarely had a chance to experience.

He surprised her by moving his hand and taking hers. He only moved his hand away when he needed to shift gears. "Ever have that one thing you wanted to do before you died, but never did?"

"I've woken up with a turian next to me." She looked at him and he smirked, but didn't take his eyes off the traffic.

"Still trying to make me blush huh?"

"Until it works. So, where are we headed?" Garrus explained to her about one of his favorite spots and how he always wanted to go there, but there were regulations why he couldn't. 

"So, you got them changed?" Jane asked and Garrus shook his head as he pulled the sky car to the platform. 

"No, I just don't give a damn." He parked the car and as he got out to walk to Jane's side of the car. She looked and noticed that there were some items already up there. A rifle case, a box filled with something, and a box that was clearly loaded with food and wine. She felt the rush of air as the door opened. He extended his hand to help her out, and she gladly took it.

Jane walked around and then stopped to stare out at the view. "It's amazing."

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope it would inspire a certain mood." He walked over to her and stood just a bit out of her reach. She turned and crossed her arms.

"Something on your mind Garrus?"

He nodded and she noticed he actually looked a little worried. He took a moment to speak. "It seemed like you needed time to figure us out."

He took a breath. "There was the separation when you were on lockdown. Then the attack on Earth and Palavan. Chakwas forcing the bodyguard situation, not that I'm complaining. Kaidan coming back. Well, it just all seemed to make you a bit standoffish." He trailed off a moment and took a breath. 

Jane spoke up. "Garrus the only thing that worried me even slightly was you saying you loved me. You never have. I understand why, but when anyone brings it up to me, it does make me think. The stress of this war added to it, and before I knew it I was faced with every possible issue and no time to sort it out. If that made me standoffish I'm sorry. I never wanted you to feel that way."

He nodded and moved closer to her. "So Shepard, are you ready to be a one turian kind of woman?"

Jane moved forward and put her hands on his chest. She looked up at him and smiled softly. "Garrus the only thing that made leaving Earth bearable was knowing you were out there somewhere"

"I felt the same way, Jane. The worst part about the galaxy going to hell was never being able to see you again."

Jane moved even closer. "Well here I am. Exactly where I want to be. I love you Garrus Vakarian." 

Garrus took in a breath. Hoping she felt that way about him was one thing. Hearing her say it, well he wasn't prepared for that.

Jane moved forward and kissed him. The kiss lasted the right amount of eternity, shutting out the war, and bringing them to the point they were the only two in the galaxy.

They pulled apart and Garrus smiled. "Now, there's one more thing before we go."

He stepped over to a the box and she walked behind him. He knelt down and opened the cardboard to reveal a box full of purple and blue empty liquor bottles. 

"What's this?" Garrus looked up at her and smiled a sad smile. He grabbed one of the bottles and tossed it in the air, catching it as it came down.

"When you...died...I went through a lot of changes. I left C-Sec. I tried Spectre training. Omega. Sidonis. Right after Sidonis and long before you showed back up, I started drinking. I kept drinking. I climbed in the bottle and I didn't climb out. The only reason i was sober when you showed up on Omega is because I had run out of bottles. Each one of these represents the bottles I lived in. Each one a night I drank away, a memory I tried to give back." 

He sounded a bit distant and somewhat sad. Maybe slightly embarrassed that he had gone the route of Oraka to a degree. He kept his back to her and continued to speak. "The day you showed up, I had been talking to my dad. It was the last time. I had run out of hope. I had run out of giving a damn. I had drank and shot my way through Omega. I wanted one thing and one thing only. To be with you. To meet you in that bar and to spend eternity with you. So, do my people say they love each other? Not really no. But, then again, I'm a bad turian. So, it's safe to say that yes, I do love you Jane. I've loved you since the moment I saw you walk up with Alenko and Ashley in the Presidium. I fell in love with you again when you came into my hold out on Omega. I gave you my heart when I left you with my wings on Omega. I'm giving you all of me now. For better or worse. Isn't that what your people say?"

Jane was in shock. Her eyes were pooling with tears. He heart was beating out of her chest. She had never heard this side of him. She had been close to it. She had shown it to her, but the words, he had never done this. This was Garrus. Bare, raw, and honest. For better or worse, this was him.

He stood slowly and turned to her. His eyes were intense and looking directly at her. He locked with her eyes and took a deep breath. "I love you Jane Shepard. I always will."

He leaned in and kissed her gently, as gently as he could. Jane had heard of people feeling a promise in a kiss. She felt that now. 

He stepped back from her and smiled. "So, now there is one thing we are going to settle once and for all. Not saying you don't know how to handle a gun, it's just that some of us know how to make it dance. So, let's find out who's really the best shot."

Jane caught the rifle as he tossed it to her. She checked it and took the safety off. "There are people in the galaxy that have seen me shoot. They seemed impressed."

He smirked a bit and tossed the bottle in his hand. "Yeah, but I've seen you dance. No comment."

"Alright Vakarian, you're going down."

Garrus threw the first bottle out and Shepard shot it with no issue. He took the next shot and shot the bottle. 

He grabbed another one and nodded. "Long range I wrote the book."

He went to toss it and Shepard knew what she was going to do. She missed the shot on purpose and watched the bottle flow down to the water below.

"I'm Garrus Vakarian and THIS is now my favorite spot on the Citadel." 

She let him gloat for a bit. "It's windy up here."

Garrus put his arm around her. "There there. I know there are other things you are good at."

They stood for a moment before putting the rifle up and having lunch. They were lounging, drinking some wine, watching the other cars fly by and just talking. Garrus' omnitool went off. It was a turian commander in the docking areas. A food shipment had arrived and they needed Garrus to approve and distribute it.

He said okay and sighed. She had already started to clean things up. He stood and grabbed Jane around the waist. "How about I get this done and meet you back on the ship then we can meet with Adrian tonight?"

Jane turned around, kissed Garrus, and smiled. "That sounds perfect. I have to meet Liara, Tali, Miranda, and pick up something for Adams."

He nodded and helped her take her seat in the car before they drove up and began handling their other tasks.


	33. In the Eye of a Shadow

The date with Garrus had been nothing short of perfection. After lunch, he dropped the keys off at the sky car rental and walked Jane to the commons. He had to meet with a member of the turian council, negotiate some supply chains, and maybe just maybe he would be able to make it back to the Normandy before it was too late to do anything. He even mentioned to Jane something about a poker game before he left Jane to go meet with Miranda.

Jane had to admit that one of the many things she loved about Garrus was the ability to remain somewhat normal even in total chaos. A poker game in the middle of a war where he was looked at as a leader for his people. One step under the Primarch was the going rumor, if she understood the politics at all. Hell, just a few days before the suicide mission he was shopping around Illium for some gun fittings and a new cleaning kit. They had even taken in a movie while they were there, as friends at that time, but still. Totally normal in a time of chaos.

Jane spent the next few hours meeting with a checklist of people. She didn't mean for her friends to become a to do list, but right now that is how it felt. Miranda was a business and personal meet up. She didn't say anything that Jane didn't already know or suspect. Though it did feel like a good bye last call sort of meeting. Jane didn't like it but what could she do?

She met with everyone else leaving the final two people on her list for the day being Kaidan and Liara. She decided to meet with Liara first. She was the closest and Jane was fairly sure Liara wanted to talk to her about things other than the weather and everyone's health. She was right on her hunch. They did talk for a few minutes and then, after some silence, Liara motioned for them to go sit at a quiet area away from the commons. 

They grabbed something to drink and sat down. "What is it Liara? Spill it."

Jane took a sip of her coffee and looked at Liara who seemed to be worried about something. 

"Shepard, have you and Garrus decided what you are to each other? When I visited you after you helped me, he was one of the things you were fighting for. A one night stand that had turned into something more. Or so it seemed. Is that the case?" She said it so calmly and academically that it took Shepard off guard. 

She wasn't sure exactly what Liara was getting at, but she was willing to play along.

"We have. It was a long road, that I wish we would have stepped onto sooner. Is there something I should know?"

Liara shook her head. "No, of course not. I just...oh I see. Yes, that could have sounded like I had a problem or there was a problem. Well, perhaps there is. It's my concern though and not anything solid."

"What's going on Liara? You only pull this academic and stoic act when something is really bothering you. Just ask it." 

Liara nodded and glanced over to Apollo's. Sitting at one of the tables, looking over a menu, was Kaidan. 

"Jane, are you sure you and Garrus are secure enough to weather the storm?"

Liara took a sip of her drink only to spit it out in a coughing fit when Jane answered her. 

"Do you mean can we make it through reapers and the attempted cock block by a certain Major?"

Yep, that did. Liara as coughing. Jane leaned over and patted her on the back as she chuckled.

"It's amazing Liara. You are a member of one of the most seductive and sexually open races this galaxy has to offer. Yet, the word cock always breaks you." 

She let Liara settle a bit and waited for the smile that would be hidden behind a hand. It was one of the cuter aspects of Liara. Jane laughed a bit when it happened.

"Honestly? I think he is into Tali. I really don't think that this conversation is going to be anything more than a friendly lunch, with a bit about Tali mixed in. Knowing Kaidan he will probably apologize for liking Tali and want my well wishes for him to move on. I'm not concerned. Garrus and I have more issues from Jimmy Vega that we would ever from Kaidan."

She took a final sip of her coffee and chucked the cup into the nearest bin.

"Yes, but Jane what if you are wrong. What if he is still interested?" Liara looked truly worried.

Jane shook her head slowly. "Doesn't matter. Could he make things a little difficult for us? Sure. Would he? Maybe. Is it going to make or break myself and Garrus? No. It's going to take a lot more than an ex-lover current Major to tear this apart."

Liara nodded. "Good. He's good for you Jane and you are good for him. Garrus spends so much of his time keeping things at an arms length waiting for it to explode. Seeing him with you. Seeing him happy. It's something I wish I could have seen sooner, but am glad to see now. I know that regardless of what happens, as long as you two have each other you and he will be taken care of. It's one less thing for a century year old Shadow Broker to worry about."

Jane smiled at her and nodded. "I'm glad you approve. You know that was a concern of his at first? The crew finding out and problems coming up from it. I'm just hoping that the people coming to me with support are also going to him. He needs to know we have support as well. Now, I have to go see what this issue with Kaidan is about. He is the last person to see before I head over to the Normandy, sit in on a poker game, and maybe…"

Liara smirked and cut in. "Not get cock blocked?"

Jane faked being shocked. "Liara! I am shocked at you. Such dirty wording."

They both laughed and Jane headed over to Apollo's.


	34. Sanity Checks and Explanations

Shepard made her way down the steps to the last tier of seating at Apollo's. She smiled at the waiter and asked for a glass of wine. Kaidan was looking over the menu. He even commented on how he wasn't sure how they got provisions like this with the war going on. 

"Maybe we shouldn't ask." Jane smiled and took a sip of the wine that had been placed in front of her.

They talked for a bit. Just ideal talk about their friendship. Where things had gone. Kaidan being sorry about Horizon...again. They agreed to have the rest of their early dinner be a sanity check. That took a 180 when the food arrived. Shepard took a bite of her apple, chicken, walnut salad hoping it wasn't actually an apple, varian, walnut salad. Her mouth was still full when Kaidan spoke.

"Does he love you Jane?" Kaidan said softly, but with the deep voice that actually showed some concern.

Her eyes got big and she swallowed the mouthful she had. "Yes. He says he does. He shows he does. I believe he does."

She was trying to cover all her bases with the answer. She didn't like where this was going. It was a bit personal and given their past she wasn't sure how this was going to go.

"I guess I'm trying to understand something Shepard."

Oh now she knew she didn't like the way this was going. Whenever Kaidan said he was guessing that he was trying to understand something it always lead to something personal and a conversation where she had to carefully choose her words. 

"What's that?" Was all she could think to say. She took another bite of food and tried to act like she was still comfortable.

"How did you two start? I guess I don't understand. You never showed interest in him before. You didn't look like a couple on Horizon. I've heard rumors. The rumors were mostly that it either just happened or that it was something that wasn't supposed to be so meaningful."

Jane swallowed and took a sip of her wine. She took her napkin off her lap and placed it on the table to the side of the salad bowl. She put her hands on the flat of her belly, one on top of the other, and drummed her fingers for a minute. 

"Okay, Kaidan. Let me start off with something very plain but very clear. There was never a point where anything that Garrus and I have shared or done wasn't supposed to be meaningful in some way. Everything from a simple chat to cleaning our guns to what happened between us has been meaningful." She paused to see if Kaidan had something he wanted to add.

"It's just that you were nothing on Horizon, or at least you didn't say anything."

"In my defense, you didn't give me much a chance Kaidan."

Kaidan sighed. Jane took a deep breathe herself. SHe didn't want this to turn into a "he is better than you" or the "you are a giant asshole" conversation. So, she decided to try and move it back to a specific topic.

"I'm going to tell you what happened as a friend. Just like I would tell Tali if she asked or Liara if she asked, which incidentally they both did. If you have a question after that, ask me. Deal?"

He nodded curtly, not looking at her, fingers interlaced in front of him. "Deal."

Shepard sighed and began speaking.

"After Horizon I was a wreck. It wasn't just because of you. You were just another reminder of time and people that I had lost. What was two years for you was a matter of days for me. It was hard to see how everyone had moved on and I was still stuck somehow. Garrus saw that. He and I had always clicked on some level. We had always been friends."

She took a swallow of her wine and held onto the glass. Twirling the red liquid as she glanced into it and kept speaking. 

"The night of Horizon, we went straight to a nearby docking station. Most of the crew disembarked to get some fresh air and some real food. I was in my cabin. I heard a knock and it was Garrus. He was in civilian clothes, had two pizzas, some beers, and a code for a game. He didn't ask about what was said. He didn't mention it. We spent the night drinking beer, talking guns, sharing stories, and watching the game. He stayed overnight. On the sofa."

She took another sip of wine. "The next few weeks we kept hanging out. Just getting to know each other more and more. Nothing major. A movie on Illium, a gun store on Sur'kesh. Things like that. We went for drinks one night on Omega, after the Archangel was presumed dead thing of course. He made me laugh by dragging me onto the dance floor. We came back to the Normandy and Jeff made a comment about it. He said it was good to see me happy. Then he said, it's a good match."

She looked into her wine and took the final sip. Holding the glass up she waived down the waiter who brought her another one. She took a sip and looked at Kaidan. He was waiting, listening. 

"So, that got me thinking. I ended up taking a detour and doing two missions. One for Kasumi and the other was for Zaeed. Zaeed's was first. Garrus went with me on that one which was interesting since he had just had a similar situation happen with him. Anyway, it was personal but let's just say that he got to see what he might have become had he made a different choice."

Kaidan looked confused. "Was Garrus in some kind of trouble?"

"No, just had a similar experience is all."

She ordered Kaidan another beer and waited for him to crack it open before she continued. 

"So, I went on the mission with Kasumi. I listened to her talk about Kaji. At first I thought the greybox must just be for information. Then I realized. It was him. It was all that was left of him. I found myself thinking about during that mission and there was this click moment. I was standing in Donovon Hawke's personal library. I glanced out the window at this amazing sunset. It was beautiful. Within a matter of seconds Garrus was in my head. I realized that if I were Kasumi, and all I had left of Garrus was this greybox with all his memories of him..of us...I'd make damn sure I got it back."

Kaidan looked a little stung and hurt. 

"You asked. I'm telling you. You want me to finish?"

He simply nodded. "I need to understand this Jane."

She nodded and kept going.

"So, I finished with the mission for Kasumi and went back to the Normandy. I took the next chance I had and went to talk to Garrus. We were talking about how Turian ships handle things before battle."

A smile came over her face as she spoke and looked at her wine glass. She ran a well manicured finger around the rim of the glass as she spoke.

"He said they would blow of steam and one of the ways was with sparing. He mentioned a match he had with a fellow shipmate. They held a tiebreaker in her quarters. Anyway, I asked him if he wanted to blow off some steam."

She chuckled as Kaidan's eyes got wide. "Yeah that was pretty much his reaction. But we talked about it. He went from shocked to a quick yes. So, the night before the Omega 4 relay, he came to my cabin. We held a tie breaker of our own."

She took a deep gulp of her wine and heard Kaidan sigh. "Okay, but how did a one night interspecies romp turn into this?"

She shook her head. "It wasn't supposed to if that helps anything for you. We didn't say much afterwards. We both figured the other would or both of us would die on the mission. The only thing that told me it was going to be more if we lived happened right before we jumped the relay."

"What was that?" Kaidan asked as he took a swig of his beer.

"We were leaving my cabin. He stopped me at the door and spun me around. He pushed me against the wall and kissed me like I had never been kissed before. Like it was the last thing he was going to do of his own free will. And, I suppose it was at that time. As we kissed he pressed something into my hand. It was a key to a storage locker on Omega. To his locker. After he pressed the key in my hand and backed up, he ran his hand down my face and just stared me for a minute. That's when I knew."

She took another sip and smiled, putting the glass on the table and leaning forward. 

"After that things just progressed. We just...were. Does that answer your question?"

She didn't mean it cruel or mean. Just meant it for what it was. Did she need to give him that full of an explanation? No, but then again she felt he deserved to know. 

"What was in the box?" 

Jane blinked. Of all the questions he had THAT was the one he went with? Okay.

She shrugged and pulled out a small key ring with a few key cards on it. Amongst them was a bright red one. She tapped on it. "Don't know. Never checked. He's never asked for it either."

Kaidan nodded. "So you just happened. How did you know though Shepard? How did you know in Hawke's library that what you were thinking and feeling was going to be felt by him too?"

She blinked. "I didn't. Just like you don't know that what you are feeling for Tali is going to be returned."

He coughed on a swig of his beer. She laughed with the thought that she was going to kill a crewmate at this rate. 

'How did you know?" He asked through coughs. 

"Well, I figured that you were asking about how Garrus and I became what we are for one of two reasons. The first was you just wanted something to beat yourself up or me up over. The other was that you were having feelings for Tali and wasn't sure how to handle it."

He nodded and laughed. "Always perspective."

Jane put her hand on his shoulder. "Just go with it. Be gentle though. Tali isn't like me or Garrus. She's been through a lot. She's tough as nails, but she's been through a lot. Losing Kaal was probably not a helpful thing either. I don't know how close they were, but I'm guessing it was really close."

The only confirmation Jane got was a nod from Kaidan. "Thanks Shepard. I mean it."

Jane nodded and finished her wine as she listened to Kaidan talk about Tali for a bit. They stood up, split the bill, and Kaidan watched as Jane smiled. Standing at the top of Apollo's was Garrus. He inclined his head in a hello of sorts to Kaidan. Kaidan nodded as Shepard walked to Garrus and put her arm around his waist. Kaidan turned and saw Tali standing in the commons. He began walking up to her to see how things would go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I promised, no Kaidan hating. Hope you guys liked it. Look for an upcoming chapter with Adrian, a visit from Kasumi, and then it's off to Thessia. Oh boy am I gonna need a drink for that one.


	35. Burning Fires

Garrus was sitting on the sectional in the Captain's cabin. He had a vid screen open to the Alliance News Network as he worked on his rifle. The truth was, working on his rifle was just a way to have something in his hands. He was watching as different cities burned, evac units worked to get people on shuttles, and those shuttles departed. News reporters wincing as they tried to give a report from the front lines. 

Shepard walked in and looked at him through the glass encasing her ship collection. He hadn't heard the door open or noticed her yet. She watched as he draped the rifle over his bent knee and outstretched his other leg. That's when she caught it. It was the rich smell of tobacco of some kind. She glanced and he had the lid of a cup of coffee tipped over as an ashtray. He had only had the one, but that one was a sign of how much stress he was under.

She had only seen him smoke on a handful of other occasions. He had even said once that on occasion he would light one just for the smell because his father smoked and it was comforting to him. She stepped around the corner and let her hand trail over him. He didn't jump. That was one of the things she loved about him. 

He leaned up, placing the rifle on the floor and leaning on the sectional. He put out the smoke and tipped it, the ashes, and the lid back over the coffee cup to seal it off. He put his elbows on his knees and took a deep breath. Jane watched him intently until she let out a small gasp as he suddenly leaned over and grabbed her. Pulling her into his lap and laying them both back on the sectional. She smiled as she heard him laugh low in his chest. 

"How you doing big guy?" She smiled and snuggled into him letting her Commander side go away for a bit. She was Commander Shepard from the moment she stepped out of that cabin to the second she stepped back in. Hours and hours, sometimes days on end. She needed to be Jane and Garrus let her do that. 

"Still no word on my dad and sister. Shuttles have been leaving the area and the word is that they did make it off. With no shuttle numbers to track and no ships for those shuttles to dock with, there's no telling where they will end up."

Jane hugged him. She felt a sort of guilt for having heard news on her mother earlier in the day. It didn't seem fair. Although, when she had told Garrus the news earlier he had agreed with her that the news wasn't fantastic. Her mother was alive, sure, but her mother was Alliance and in charge of not just her ship but several. She could be taken out at anytime and Jane wouldn't be notified until Hackett was and until he could notify her. It could be well after the war ended before she got any solid news.

"If you can think of anyone to get a message out to, let me know. I'll have EDI do what she can." It was all she could think to say at this point.

Garrus sighed and ran his hand down Jane's back. He didn't really respond to her statement.  
Jane sat up and looked down at him. Garrus reached up and smirked as he tapped a talon on the tip of her nose. "Credit for your thoughts."

She smiled. "I was just thinking that I've always heard a ship Commander's crew is her family. It never hit until right now."

He nodded and sat up slightly, keeping his leg against hers. He didn't want to be any further from her than he possibly had to be. His talons reached up and pulled out a hair tie. He let his talons untangle the mass of hair and smooth it out for her. "Indeed."

There was a long pause and he cleared his throat. "Speaking of family. I wanted to talk to you about something. Something important."

Shepard looked at Garrus with concern in her eyes. "Sounds serious."

Garrus nodded. "You could say that. It occurred to me after our date, while I was handling some meetings…"

Garrus was cut off by EDI coming over Shepard's cabin intercom.

"Shepard. Dr. T'Soni needs to speak with you immediately. It is regarding the meeting you had with the Asari councilor."

Garrus mouthed to her, "You saw the counselor?"

Shepard nodded and rolled her eyes. "Okay, EDI. I'll see Liara soon."

"Shepard, she needs to speak with you now. Jeff would like me to state that ETA to Thessia is 30 minutes."

Shepard put her elbows on her shoulders and reached out for her hair tie to put her hair back up. She sighed and shook her head. "Thank you EDI."

The com went silent and Shepard stood up. 

"Liara doesn't usually demand anything. This seems out of character. What's going on Jane?"

Shepard sighed as she checked herself in the bathroom mirror. "The short end of it is that there is an artifact hidden on Thessia. We need that artifact because it might maybe be something that helps with the crucible."

Garrus waved his hand in a "fuck that" sort of way. He turned and grabbed his armor to start suiting up. "So, instead of letting us know this when the crucible was first introduced, or when she asked us to help with the monastery, or at any given point along the way she decided to wait until the wet ass hour and expect us to run and do it for her. I am so tired of this from them."

"Agreed. We still need to suit up and go get it. I'm not sure what we are going to run into down there Garrus. It could be mild. It could be really bad. Have you ever been to Thessia?"

She began suiting up alongside him. He started fastening the buckles on his boots and lower body armor. "I went there a few times over the years. Once was when I was very little. I think we went there to visit a friend of dad's. The second time was again for dad. Something to do with a C-sec case. Then the last time I went was to escort Sol for a summer trip she had been approved for. It's our culture that the girls have an escort for things like that if they are under age. Just to get them there, make sure proper chaperones are there, and leave. So, I was there overnight basically. Think of it like Illium with more arrogance and sensuality."

She nodded. "Good to know. You ready?"

He nodded and grabbed his weapons as they walked out of the cabin. They had barely made their way into the CIC when Joker began calling for Shepard. Apparently the planet was under high siege.

"Shepard we're gonna have to go in hot. They are swarmed. This is bad Shepard. Real bad."

Jane turned just in time to see Liara running to her. "That's my planet! Those are my people! I'm going with you!"

Jane nodded. "Hurry up and suit up. We'll meet you at the shuttle bay."

Jane took another look at the feed coming in from Thessia. She felt Garrus touch her arm and whisper to her. "Come on. It's not going to get any better staring at it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's right guys. It's time for Thessia. This is going to be rough. Just so you know, Thessia then a visit to Adrian Victus. After that it will be a talk with Tali as well as Sanctuary. Kasumi and Jack will be making appearances as well to gear up for Shore Leave then the final push to Earth.


	36. The Fall of Thessia

Shepard didn't like this at all. They couldn't raise the scientists. They weren't even sure if they could get the artifact. Apparently, it was the Temple of Athame and had government funding. That didn't help the situation. As Liara talked about the temple and her mother, Shepard could hear and feel the explosions on the planet surface. She watched as Liara kept right on talking, but stayed academic. As if she didn't hear the explosions, or maybe didn't want to. 

Garrus tried to give her a sort of pep talk, but it didn't seem to affect her. She thought not thinking of her people and trying to get to what they needed was callous. That worried Jane. She remembered what she saw on Earth, what they saw on Palavan. She could only imagine what they would find when the shuttle doors opened and she was damn sure that Liara wasn't going to handle it well. She loved her friend, but the last thing she needed was to stop and baby Liara or counsel her through this.

The shuttle doors opened to hellfire on the planet surface.

"You must be Commander Shepard." The voice came from one of the soldiers at a barrier that was made up just before a bridge. It wasn't good and it was getting worse. Reapers were in the sky, the Asari were running out of ammo fast, and frankly they were running out of people too. 

Lt. Kurian caught Jane's attention and told her to get on a gun. She did and cleared the bridge along with Garrus and Liara. When it was clear off she heard something about a gunship.

"Commander, I'm Lt. Kurian. My orders are to hold this grid at all costs." Just after she spoke they were hit with more fire. She was getting her people out of there and fast.

Shepard explained what the situation was. The Lt., though not happy about it, agreed.

"This has to end," shouted Liara.

"Stay angry! You're going to need it to get through this." Garrus replied.

Garrus, Shepard, and Liara began to push through to the bridge. They fought through and finally made it to the end of the bridge. The building they headed into was destroyed, but had just enough walk area to get through and to the other side. 

"On that building. We've got fire support." Liara barely got it out of her mouth before the cover fire was killed.

They finally caught site of the temple after fighting through several battle packed areas. 

"This nightmare never ends." Liara shouted. 

"The hell it won't. We get to this artifact and we can all wake up." Shepard responded back as she fired off what was left of her ammo and ducked to reload. 

"Drinks will be on me." Garrus shouted as he covered both of them with his sniper rifle, picking off two more brutes. 

Garrus had just finished his statement when they were bombarded again. They met up with the only living member of Outpost Tikus. 

They were able to get two pilots to come in with weapons hot. They began to light up the reapers just enough to get Shepard and the team to the temple. 

They made it to the temple gates after what seemed like an eternity. All of them were breathing heavy and exhausted. Liara managed to override the security and within a few minutes they were in. It didn't take them long to locate the scientists. It didn't take long to figure out what was going on and to start an attempt to access the artifact, the prothean beacon. 

Jane walked by Garrus and whispered, "I don't like this. Liara is in denial. We have a government funded high security temple. I have a bad feeling Garrus. This isn't good."

Garrus nodded and touched her shoulder as he moved past and glanced at an Asari sculpture. "I agree. She's being way to clinical Shepard. Keep an eye out."

They finally triggered the beacon and released a Prothean VI. "Reaper presence detected. Shutting down."

Shepard managed to stop the VI from shutting down and got it to explain what was going on. It was just getting to the information they needed when the VI detected something.

"Indoctrinated presence detected. Activating security protocol." The VI faded just in time to see Kai Lang.

"Someone would like to talk to you." Was his response to Shepard. He held out a hologram unit that allowed the Illusive Man to appear.

"What are you doing here?" Shepard asked him simply.

"The archives, or did the Shadow Broker overlook that?" He stated as he walked towards the beacon.

Liara made a snippy comment to him. Shepard didn't hear it because she and Garrus had caught glances and both had the same question. How did she miss that? Shepard didn't like that feeling. It was hard for her not to though. Liara had kept a lot from her, from everyone, since Shepard had been back. Everything from information that she would keep until she felt the need to release it, regardless of how bad the timing was or how high the need was to how Cerberus got Shepard's body. 

After a few minutes of bantering the Illusive Man gave his order. Kai Lang was to take the AI from Shepard. The fight was on within seconds. It lasted for what felt like an eternity. Kai Lang, gunships, healing, the whole nine yards. Then it happened. Something Shepard never expected. 

She turned to see Garrus shaking his head after being thrown across the temple. Liara was out cold. In front of her stood Kai Lang. He smiled that horrific smile he had and gave the order to the gunship. Take down the support beams. 

All Jane remembered was lunging at him and then falling through the floor. How she managed to find the strength to pull herself up the hole she would never know. Determination probably. She got to the top and felt Liara pull her up. Just as her feet hit the stable flooring she took of in a run. 

It was too late. Kai Lang was gone and so was the artifact and information they needed to finish the catalyst. She felt her legs go out from under her. That's when she heard the distress call come over the radio. She tried to get a signal through, something, anything. It didn't work. She could only stand there and listen as another person died. Helpless, she looked up at the ship leaving with Kai Lang. Turning around she threw her weapon as hard as she could and kept walking. To where she didn't know. Anywhere. 

The next thing Jane remembered it was the next morning and she was in the med bay of the Normandy. She wasn't sure how she got there. She opened her eyes slowly and looked around. Garrus was sitting in the most uncomfortable looking chair she had ever seen. He was half in the chair and half propped up on the bed. He had fallen asleep holding her hand. 

She looked over at Dr. Chakwas who smiled at her and slowly stood up from her desk. She let her hand brush over Garrus to wake him gently. He sat up and took a deep breath that sounded like both exhaustion and relief.

Chakwas began scanning Jane. "Vitals are back to normal, no noticeable damage, your implants seem to be online and working well. I have a list of aftercare you need to do, so I'll give it to Garrus to make sure it's done. I'll leave you two alone."

She walked off and patted Garrus on the shoulder reassuringly.

Jane sat up slowly. She had a hell of a headache and felt light headed. "What happened?"

Garrus stood up and cracked his neck before sitting on the side of Jane's hospital bed. "You scared the shit out of me. Liara has locked herself in her quarters. The VI is gone. Hackett has tried to reach you a few times. I finally put him off and told him there had been a medical emergency. That seemed to shut him up for a few hours."

Jane nodded. "Didn't mean to scare you."

Garrus chuckled a bit and moved her hair out of her face. "If I thought you meant to do it, then I'd be disciplining you right now."

Jane raised an eyebrow. "Discipline huh? For what being the world's worst savior? The one who could do it all and failed?"

He shook his head. "I knew you would go there. I've even thought about the fifty things I could tell you to make you feel better. The forty pep talks I could give. The hundred things I could say. Jane, the truth is, no matter what I say or do it won't make this any better. Thessia has fallen. It is what it is. All we can do now is get the information back."

Jane nodded. "And what about Liara? Everytime she looks at me she will see how I failed her and her people."

Garrus shook his head and almost looked mad. "If that's how she reacts then it will be proof positive that her books could only teach her so much and at the end of the day she is a fool. You no more failed her people than I did. Hell if she wants to lay blame with that logic she needs to go to Joker. He was flying the Normandy, or Steve. Steve was the shuttle pilot."

He took a breath and held Jane's hand. She was shaking her head and looking away from him. Pondering the tiles and whatever else was not related to Thessia. 

He put a talon under her chin and moved her face up to look at him. "Look, is she going to be upset? Of course she is. Is it your fault? Not in the slightest. No one could have predicted that Cerberus would be there, especially with the hot mess of fuckery we landed in on Thessia."

Jane nodded and ran her face against his hand. "I know. I need to go talk to her. I need to talk to Hackett too and the Asari councilor."

"What you NEED to do is rest for a bit more. Go to our cabin. Lay down. Sleep for a bit. At least take a shower and eat something. Then you can come back here and talk to Liara. I'll stay on deck. If she freaks out or needs something, I'll be here." Garrus looked at her waiting for a confirmation of some kind. 

Jane finally nodded. "Okay. I'll shower and eat."

She stood up and slowly found her footing. Garrus grabbed the data from the doctor on any after care treatment she had written up for Jane. He walked Jane to the elevator and gave her a kiss on the forehead before moving his forehead to touch hers. 

"I'm right here when you need me."

He smiled and stepped back as the doors closed.

It took Jane until halfway through her shower before she realized he had said "our cabin" and that he said "when you need me" not if.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was not...the easiest thing to write and frankly the next chapter will be harder. Jane still has to talk to Liara and that won't be easy. Hope you guys are liking it. After the talk it's time for a visit to Adrian.


	37. The Truth is Loud

Shepard stood in the vidcom room staring at the beeping signal. Incoming message from the Asari councilor. Jane finally moved to the vidcom station and hit the button. She spent the next few minutes trying to explain what had happened and that Thessia had fallen. Shepard talked to Anderson after that. That helped a bit. He brought up how many times he had his ass handed to him in battles. The one thing that Jane kept wanting to say, but didn't, was yeah he got his ass handed to him but he didn't lose an entire world. 

She took a deep breath and stood in the room for a minute. She had been keeping up the good fight for too long. From the Blitz to Saren. From the Geth to the Collectors. Cerberus, the reapers, millions counting on her, everything all the time with no break between. It was getting to her. She was losing herself in it all.

She stepped out into the war room. She was done. She wanted it to stop. She wanted it all to stop. She decided to go with a bit of yelling to her get her point across. Maybe if her crew saw that she had hit the end of her rope they would respond. Well, respond is exactly what they did. It turned out Traynor had managed to trace where they might be able to begin looking. 

Jane gave the order to do whatever it took and stormed out of the room. She headed to the crew deck where she found Tali standing in front of the memorial wall. She was talking to Garrus about Liara. 

"Can you talk to her?" Tali asked softly.

Garrus sighed and responded. Shepard could hear him clicking away on his console. He was calibrating. That meant he was trying to fill his mind with anything and everything, but the very thing that was bothering him. 

"Tali, I'm just a reminder of everything that is lost."

Tali nodded and stared at the names on the wall. Jane touched her arm and broke into the conversation. 

"I'll talk to her." 

Tali nodded. "Thank you Shepard."

Shepard made her way to Liara's quarters and took a deep breath before walking in. Liara was on the bed with papers surrounding her. She was in tears, which was to be expected. 

"How did this happen Shepard? Did I just assume my people would be ready? That the council would protect them?"

Shepard tried to console her, but it didn't help.

"How many millons of my people died because I asked for their help?" Liara said so sadly. 

Shepard responded as she shook her head. "None. You've been warning your people for years!"

Liara shook her head. "My people are dying by the millions!"

That was it. That was all that Jane could take. That was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Every planet, every group of people, everyone is dying by the millions Liara! The asari aren't the only ones! You're people aren't the only fucking concern. I'm sorry they are dying, but for the sake of the goddess look at the big picture!"

She took a deep breath and kept going.

"Why was I in lockup Liara? You're the great shadow broker. Why was I there?!? I had to make a choice to kill MILLIONS of Baterians Liara. It was either that or allow the reapers to come right in. I was being questioned why I made that choice. I had to do that while Hackett sat on his ass and said nothing. He was the one that sent me, but he sat back and said shit."

Shepard took a deep breath and shook her head. "I was locked up. When they did let me go it was only because half the Alliance council was killed before my eyes and Anderson and I were it. Earth was coming down around me! I watched a little boy blow up. A boy that I tried to save! He got on a cruiser and the cruiser was taken out!"

Liara was blinking at her. Shepard had never spoken to her this way and maybe it was time she did. 

"I had hoped that you would see what was going on. That Palavan would have shown you if nothing else. Garrus doesn't know where his family is! His entire world is burning. Earth is burning. My God Liara! Crawl out of your books and scrolls and dust for five minutes. This isn't about YOU and YOUR people. This is about all of us. If you don't wake up and realize that then more of your people will die. INCLUDING YOU!"

She stood there breathing heavy, pissed off, tired of the stuck in her academics bullshit that Liara pulled from time to time. 

Liara wiped her tears and stood up. "You're right. I need to refocus. I need to help where I can. Use my resources. The refugees. I can help them. Not just Asari, but all of them. Thank you Shepard. Just give me some time."

Jane blinked. She was a bit dumbfounded. She had just ripped Liara a new one and all it had done is made Liara kick into gear. Well, okay then. Whatever worked. 

Jane left the room and jumped nearly out of her skin when she heard a voice next to her.

"Well, the angry Shep gets things done. Don't feel bad. We all have to be that guy sometimes."

Jane had her hand over her heart from the sudden shock of the unexpected voice.

"Kasumi! I'm going to put a bell around your neck, I swear. What are you doing here?" They began walking to the starboard lounge area. Shepard knew no one would be in there. 

Kasumi sat down on the sofa and smiled softly at Jane. "I had to drop off some things for Liara and pick up some items from the Shadow Broker. I got stuck here when you were on Thessia. I decided to stay a bit."

Jane poured a drink and sat down looking in the glass. "Kasumi, I didn't't mean to be so mean to her. I'm just…."

"Fed up. Shep no one blames you. You are being saddled with everything in the galaxy. Everyone is looking to you to fix this. The truth is, you can't fix everything."

Jane nodded. As usual Kasumi was right. "I need a break Kasumi. That sounds so selfish in the midst of all this."

Kasumi shook her head. "It isn't though. It's the truth. You can't win a war when you are too tired. You have to be at yourself. Even leaders go to a golf course once in awhile."

Jane leaned back. "You know Garrus said something similar to that."

Kasumi smiled. "Great minds." 

Jane drank some of her bourbon. "Garrus and I are supposed to meet up with Victus on the Citadel. I think I may schedule it off as a diplomatic meeting and take a full day and evening."

Kasumi nodded. "That sounds exactly like what you need to do. Take some time with friends and away. Forget the war, even for just a day."

Jane agreed and left Kasumi alone in the lounge. Shepard headed to the captain's cabin to make the plans.


	38. Arrogance, Loss, and the Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Sorry it's been so long. I had some personal issues come up. Regular updates are coming this week and hopefully the story will be finished within the next week or so. After that I'll be doing several more stories. Thanks for the support and I hope you're enjoying it!

Garrus and Shepard made all the necessary arrangements for the last day on the Citadel before they headed back out. They were not to be disturbed by Turian High Command or by the Normandy and Alliance unless it was a dire situation. Both of them put contacts in place to handle anything that may come up. As an added measure, they both shut off their omnitools and left them on the Normandy. That way, someone would have to take the extra steps to contact them and couldn't just call for every single issue. 

They arrived at the apartments around 10am Citadel time. Shepard could hear music of some kind coming out of the apartment that Adrian now occupied and was once Vakarian owned. Garrus smiled at her. "He's watching the a game. It's the pre-game music." He knocked and they heard a muffled sound that sounded like come in.

The doors slid open and revealed a wall covered in nothing but Turian military notices. It looked like a mini war room. There was only one area of the apartment that wasn't covered in some form of military paperwork and that was the L-shaped sofa in front of the flatscreen. 

Adrian appeared from the kitchen. He walked to Shepard and Garrus shaking Garrus' hand and clapping him on the back. Shepard offered her hand and he pulled her into a quick hug. They all walked into the living room and took seats around the sofa. It was a few minutes before Adrian spoke.

"The food will be here shortly. I ordered from Apollo's. So, catch me up. What's the new cat up a tree they have you chasing?"

Shepard took a deep breath and Garrus spoke for her. He knew that she would beat around the bush about what had happened on Thessia so he decided to be the one to rip off the band aid. 

"We lost Thessia." He said quickly before taking a sip of Turian beer Adrian had given him.

Adrian nodded and looked at Shepard, gauging her reaction. She sighed and looked out of the apartment window to the fountains outside. 

"You can't expect a small group of commando's, load of matriarchs, academics, and a spantering of strippers to know how to defend a planet. Unfortunately, they are so fucking arrogant they thought it would work out. Actually, to be more to the point, they thought what they always have."

Shepard sighed. "And what is that?"

"That they were untouchable. They made the biggest mistake in war. They believed they were protected and untouchable. No one is untouchable in war. Everyone is a target."

Shepard looked to Garrus who inclined his head in agreement before sipping on his beer again. She turned to Adrian who just sat, waiting, like he usually did. What he said was true, but he said it to get a rise out of her and she knew it. 

She took a deep breath. "The Asari have always been this way, That's all the more reason we should have seen their reaction coming and stepped in sooner to save Thessia."

The reaction she got was not the one she expected. Garrus looked like he had just been slapped and Adrian let out a bark of laughter.

He shook his hand at her and got up to grab another drink. He came back in and leaned against the doorway going into the living room from the kitchen. 

"Let me get this right. You think that we all, as a whole, should have seen the Asari being arrogant assholes and blind to anything around them. We should have forced them to see reason in order to save THEIR homeworld because this is just how the Asari are? And you felt that would have worked?"

She opened her mouth and he cut her off as he picked up a smoke and lit it. He took a drag and shook his head.

"Jane, I like you. Because I like you I'm going to be blunt with you. That's stupid. It's the most insane and ignorant thing I believe you have ever said and I don't think for a moment you believe it. That's your diplomatic side coming out. I'm not Hackett. I'm not the council. I'm a soldier. Talk to me like one. What do you REALLY think about the fall of Thessia?"

Jane sighed and reached for the beer Adrian had ordered just for her. She cracked it open and took a large pull of it. Shaking her head she stood up and walked to the window. She turned around and sighed. 

"I think they truly thought they wouldn't be touched and when they were they wanted someone else to swoop in and save their asses. I think that the only time they see any use for me or anyone else is when they are knee deep in shit and know they are about to have a real problem. They could have cared fucking less what I was saying until the reapers were knocking on their door. Then, then...you know what it was? It wasn't "Hey Shepard come and save our people." No, no fuck that. It was "we've been hiding an artifact that we waited until the wet ass hour to tell anyone about. Could you go get it for us, risk your life, and save our skins so we can be the saviors of the ones who had the final thing needed to destroy this shit. Gee thanks."

She shook her head and threw herself back down in a huff on the sofa. Garrus was chuckling at her a bit. It was the first time since Thessia that he heard her actually just let out how she really felt. Adrian let a smile take over and nodded.

"Now, what happened?"

Shepard shook her head. "The Asari counselor asked me to go in and get the artifact. We didn't know how much of hell they were in until we got there. Seems they had been hiding, and funding the hiding spot, of a prothean artifact. Liara didn't want to believe it. She just kept acting like her people wouldn't do that."

Adrian laughed and looked at Garrus. "Isn't that sweet? The poor girl still had hopes and dreams that her people had good intentions."

Garrus nodded and chuckled. "Yes, Liara isn't like us. She still has an affection for her government."

They all laughed and Jane shook her head.

"Cerberus was there. They got the artifact and left. Thessia fell within minutes."

Adrian nodded. "Hmm, let me ask something. If you had the artifact in hand, would the reapers had left? Full retreat of Thessia? Oh shit, Shepard got it. Well, we're done here."

Jane blinked and Garrus almost spit his beer out laughing. He held his hand up in an "I'm sorry" gesture.

Adrian looked at her and snuffed out his smoke. "Well? Answer me Commander. Would they have done a full retreat if you got the artifact?"

She blinked again and shook her head. "No, of course not."

"Then YOU did not fail anyone. You are not the reason Thessia fell. The Asari had multiple warnings and did not heed them. The Asari saw Palavan fall, Earth fall, and Tuchanka attacked. Yet, they did nothing to prevent it on their own planet. You're actions only work to help prevent further deaths, not their deaths. That was their job. The Asari lost Thessia, not you."

Jane templed her fingers and put her elbows on her knees. She looked over at Garrus and he nodded at her. "He's right. I didn't say anything before because I didn't know how to approach it with you. You were dealing with Liara's upset over it. I had no idea how to say this wasn't your fault and get you to listen to me."

Jane shook her head. "Wait this whole day was a set-up to give me a military pep talk?"

They both nodded and clinked beer bottles together before taking drinks. 

"Assholes!"

They both nodded and chuckled.

Adrian laughed and shook his head. "So, what's the plan? I mean, you have the choice of sitting and crying in your literal beer or getting the damn thing back."

"We are going to figure out how to find where Kai Lang went and get it all back. We will get it back. We will finish the Crucible. We will win."

Garrus smiled. "That's my girl. There she is."

Adrian nodded. "Indeed. Now, no more shop talk. We have a game to watch, two movies, pizza, wings, beers to drink, and some relaxation to have."

They all agreed as Adrian turned the volume up on the game.


	39. Nights in Purple Silk

Garrus and Shepard left Adrian's apartment shortly after midnight. Jane was enjoying walking arm in arm with Garrus. Just being a couple. For a few minutes she wasn't Commander Shepard. She was just Jane. Garrus wasn't Officer Vakarian or Sir. He was just Garrus. The night sky was clear, the fountains were making a soft waterfall like sound. It was nearly perfect. She was so much in her own thoughts, she jumped slightly when she heard the sky car dispatch.

"Destination Advisor Vakarian?"

Garrus moved his arm from Jane's and put it around her waist, pulling her closer. He cleared his throat and smiled. "Presidium commons. Apartment ward."

Jane blinked and tugged on his waist. "Garrus? The Normandy…."

He tugged her closer and whispered in her ear. "Will be there tomorrow. For the next 12 hours you are mine."

Jane smiled at him and looked around as she felt his talons moving lightly against her lower back. 

"Garrus, what are you up to?" 

She knew him all to well. If he had the apartment rented for the night, then he had done a lot of planning. Garrus was not the impromptu type. Hell, it took several talks about blowing off steam before he finally committed to a night. 

He kissed her forehead and rubbed her back instead of answering. She was just about to ask again when the skycar pulled up to pick them up. He opened the door for her and held her hand as she stepped in. She took her seat in the back, with Garrus taking the seat next to her. The doors closed and gave the signal for the driver to go ahead.

Garrus leaned back and snuggled into Jane's neck. He gently nipped at her neck and her ear as his hand traveled over her thigh to her flat stomach. He was greeted with a moan and the deep intake of breath she always took just before she bit her lip. He felt her hand run along his side, to his hip. 

"Garrus, the driver." His heart pounded and his pride soared when he got a giggle out of the great Commander Shepard. 

He leaned back from her and reached a talon to her hair, moving a strand behind her ear as he looked at her. "We have at least ten minutes until we get to the apartment. Besides, that driver has seen worse. Trust me. I used to work here, remember?"

Jane looked around at the driver and back at Garrus. He looked at her eyes and was puzzled. She had a look he had never really seen before. 

"Why are you staring?" She laughed a little and started smoothing her clothes, her hair, worried about what he was seeing.

"You're beautiful. I don't know how or why I've been gifted with you. I take every chance I can to enjoy it. To take you in, file you away in my memory, and keep you there. Now, what's bothering you? Have I misjudged?"

He ran his hand down her arm to take her hand. The same way he had done before they went through the Omega 4 Relay so long ago. 

She took his hand and smiled softly as she looked down. "You aren't ashamed to be with me. You also aren't showing me off. I'm not a trophy to be shown. I'm not something to hide. WIth you, it's like I'm cherished. Like you're proud of me. Garrus, I'm not used to that. I'm used to something so different. To either being paraded around and untouched behind closed doors or only being behind closed doors. I'm not used to this." She waved her hand around the back of the sky car.

She felt raw, vulnerable, and slightly uncomfortable. Garrus was the only one she had ever been with who made her feel so good and so vulnerable. It made her want to run sometimes, but she knew that he would just chase her. Funny, that the thought of that made her never want to run in the first place.

She sighed and he held her hand to his mandible. "Then I aim to change that. It isn't like I'm proud of you Jane. I am DAMN proud of you."

He was cut off by the driver. "Presidium Commons. Apartment District."

The door opened and Garrus leaned in to kiss Jane gently. He whispered to her softly, "Come on."

He pulled her gently from the sky car and paid the driver. He turned and put his arm around her waist leading her past Apollo's and up the stairs to the apartments. It only took a few minutes before they reached the door. He ran a card over the door and it opened. The room was dark but Jane caught the whiff of something amazing.

He lead her in and she stood just inside the doorway as he turned to shut the door and lock it. He guided her into the main room and the lights turned on. The room was filled with lavender and honeysuckle flowers. The bed was covered in her favorite colors of royal purple and gold. There was a small bag in the corner that was clearly hers with, if she knew Garrus well enough, a change of clothes and anything else she needed for the night.  
She stood looking at the room, a bit astonished. She felt Garrus put his arms around her and nuzzle her neck. His voice was dark and soft in her ear. 

"You ARE cherished. I don't say it enough. I don't say a lot of things enough, or at all. Tonight is for us. Just us. I don't want there to ever be a doubt how I feel or what I want when this is over."

He turned her around and sunk down to the floor. Jane's heart stopped. When this had happened with Kaidan, it was more of a discussion. This. This was out of a fairytale from her childhood or a movie.

Garrus looked nervous. The truth was, he was nervous. He pulled out a small video screen. He showed it to her and pushed a button on the side. An image of a plot of land came up. There was a house in the middle of the land. It was breathtaking. 

"When I left you on Omega, before you turned yourself in, I went to an agent. I bought this. I bought it for us. The plan was, when you got out, I was going to be there. I was going to drop to a knee. I was going to ask. The house is, well I don't know if it is still there to be honest. If it is though, would you consider, I mean. I…."

For the first time since the relay Jane watched Garrus stumble and become as vulnerable as she felt earlier in the sky car. She took a deep breath and swallowed hard.

"No, Garrus. I wouldn't consider it."

His eyes closed and his heart nearly stopped. He tapped the side of the vid, shutting the picture off. He slowly, and Jane noticed with a little shakingly, started to stand. She stopped him with her hand on his shoulder. Dropping down to meet his gaze. Her hand touched his face and he opened his eyes. It was like a dagger looking into them.

"Garrus, I won't consider it because I don't have to. The answer was and will always be yes."

She didn't know what to expect. What she got made her gasp. He tossed the vid to the side and grabbed her. His hands running up her back and cupping her at the base of her neck. He kissed her hard taking in the breath she exhaled. 

His heart was beating heavily against her. He pulled back and looked in her eyes. "You said yes."

It was the simplest statement. He said it in almost a whisper of disbelief. She nodded slowly and smiled. He kissed her again and stood her up slowly. As they kissed he walked her to the bed and laid her back gently. He dropped to his knees and pushed her all the way back. Slowly, he began to unbuckle her boots and remove them. As he removed each boot and pair of socks, he stopped to kiss each ankle and look up at her. 

His hands moved up her legs and to her buckle. He unbuckled her belt and unfastened her pants, revelaing her bare stomach. Leaning in he licked around her belly button gently. Just enough to tease. SHe gasped, bringing a smile and soft chuckle from him.

Her hands went down to his shoulders as he moved down along with her pants. He pulled them off her and tossed them to the side. He smirked and tapped his talons on her upper thighs. 

"My my Commander. What a dirty girl. No panties under your pants. Now that is shocking. Whatever would the press say if they knew?" He didn't wait for her to answer. He leaned in and spread her legs gently as he looked in her eyes. She gasped slightly and her eyes fluttered closed as his tongue found her. He slowly, devestantgly slowly, ran his tongue along her clit and down. As he reached her pussy he slid his tongue inside of her. At first it was just barely, then he slid into her a bit deeper.

Her grunt and grabbing at his shoulders were all that he needed for encouragement. His tongue dove into her and begin pistoning in and out. His left hand moved and pinned her hips down so he could suckle on her pussy while his tongue did its magic inside of her.

Her head went into the mattress as her legs went up and over his shoulders. He reached and helped her legs get into place as he pushed her knees back a bit and dove in even deeper tasting her. 

She kept reaching for his shoulders, moaning with each thrust of his tongue. He smiled against her as his hand gently rubbed her leg in time to his tongue thrusts. Jane moaned and began moving her hips to him. BIting her lip as she felt his tongue curl inside of her.

"Garrus! Garrus please more. Please." Her hand grabbed for him and her nails dragged hard along his skin. He growled into her and pulled back. Licking his lips he stood up and moved her back on the bed, giving him room to join her. She smiled as he began pulling at his clothes. 

Jane leaned up and tried to help him. Her hands reaching for his pants, the buckles, his shirt, and anything else she could grab on him. She kissed him, nibbled at his mandibles, and groaned as she finally felt his hot skin against hers. His talons moved up her back and removed her shirt, followed shortly by her bra.

He pushed her back on the bed and captured a nipple in his mouth. His teeth scraped over her skin and his talons moved down to her hips. He gripped her and moved her under him growling more.

Jane had always wanted him to stop holding back in bed. She loved him being sweet and romantic, but she also wanted that side of him that was priimale. She grabbed at him, letting her nails dig into him a bit. The motion caused him to toss his head back and moan a deep gutteral moan. 

"Garrus. Please. Don't hold back. Please. I need you, all of you. I won't break."

That was all he needed. He grabbed her hips rolling her over and pulling at her legs to get her on her knees. He got behind her, smacking her left ass cheek once then running his talons over the reddening spot. She groaned and thrust forward with the smack. Her arms going down in front of her causing her to lay with her upper body down and her lower body in a perfect position for Garrus.

He leaned over her and she felt his body covering her. His talon rubbed against her pussy and teased her clit. She was already so wet it drove him wild. He slid a finger in her as he moved his mouth to her neck. His teeth ran against the side of her neck making her shudder. As she shuddered he pushed a second talon in her and groaned. 

"Spirits your wet Jane. Is this for me?" He punctuated the question with a thrust of his talons. 

"Is this for me sweetie? Tell me. Tell me it' for me." He kept thrusting his talons in and out of her gently as he moved his lips to her neck nibbling softly.

She gasped and groaned, thrusting back to his fingers. "You know what I want Jane?"

She gasped and shook her head no. He had to smirk to himself. He had her exactly where he wanted her. Her wetness was just for him. Her body was just for him.

"I want to mark you Jane. i want to sink my teeth in right here." He paused to nibble the soft skin of her neck. He nipped a little bit harder than normal. 

"Do you want that Jane? Do you want to be bonded? Do you want to be marked? Do you want everyone to see your neck and know the great Commander Shepard is taken?"

He kept thrusting his talons in and out of her pussy gently. He could hear the smacking sounds of her wetness as he thrusted. The truth was, he wanted nothing more than to bond with her right then and there. It was up to her though. He would never assume…

"Bond Garrus!! DO IT!" With those words she came hard on his talons and he couldn't hold back anymore.

He pulled his hand from her and wrapped his damp hand and talons around his shaft. He stroked himself in a few long strokes. He rolled her over and looked in her eyes. She was beautiful. Red cheeks, covered in sweat, legs spread, body breathing and gasping for breath. He continued to stroke himself as she looked up at him.

She gasped, reaching for his cock and moving him towards her pussy. "Please."

He felt a surge at the request. His body reacted before he could think about anything. Leaning forward he put himself at her entrance and whispered gutterly, "Are you sure baby? Are you sure?"

She gripped onto him and nodded, moving her hips to him teasingly.

He didn't wait any longer. He thrust in in one long fast thrust. As he slid into her he moved his mouth over her neck and bit down. One thrust, one bite. He groaned as she screamed out. He would have felt horrible normally, but he heard the ecstasy and releasing her scream. He groaned tugging on her neck with his mouth, tasting the essence of her, and feeling his heart and soul calm. 

He pulled away from her neck and nuzzled her as he continued to pump his cock in and out of her pussy in long slow thrusts. He looked in her eyes and whispered. "Are you ready to be my bondmate Jane?"

She nodded, her hips meeting his thrusts. He turned his head and bared his neck to her. He kept thrusting slowly making love to her now. Her blood still covering his teeth and lips. She leaned in and he felt her teeth graze his neck. It made his entire body feel like electricity was running through it. He grabbed onto the bed, continued to thrust into her, and tried to relax. It took Jane a moment but she managed to sink her teeth into his neck.

He let out a growl as his eyes saw only stars and he began to pump into her faster and harder. His hips pinning hers as she suckled on his neck moaning and thrusting to him. 

SHe pulled back finally, breathing heavy, and grabbing to him. "Garrrrusss." She let his name drag out as she came hard on his cock. Her hips thrusting and her body vibrating against him. He grunted and got out the words "I love you" before pulsing inside of her and holding her to him. 

It was a short time later when Garrus rolled off her and to the side, pulling her to him. The bleeding had stopped on her neck and he looked over the area gently. She was already falling asleep. He pulled her to him. It took him a minute to realize that in his culture, to his people, he had just married the love of his life.

He whispered in her ear gently. "Good night Shepard."

SHe turned in his arms and looked at him as her hand came up to his cheek. "Vakarian." She whispered his last name gently. At first he thought she was simply saying good night to him. 

He nestled against the pillow, pulling her closer. Jane pulled back and whispered at him. "Good night Vakarian. Mrs. Jane Vakarian."

He blinked as she fell asleep in his arms. He knew this would have to stay between them for the time being. He knew that very few would understand. To him, this night was perfect and having something between them, something so intimate, was comforting. 

He held Jane as close to him as possible as he checked the corner to make sure his gun was in eye sight and reach. He confirmed both and closed his eyes, stroking Jane's hair, and drifting off into the most perfect peaceful sleep he had had in a year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the end. There is still a lot to go. I hope you guys are enjoying it.


	40. The Morning After

Garrus woke up the next morning to the artificial sunlight of the Citadel streaming through a small crack in the curtains. He was on his side behind Jane with his arm draped over her waist. He nuzzled her neck and sat up slightly. Moving her hair out of the way he glanced at her neck and the bonding mark. It would heal nicely, leave just the right scaring, and shouldn't be sore for more than a day or two. 

He had to admit he felt a little bad because he knew it had to be painful. He had even put a bit of medigel on it before they slept. He had to reassure her several times that it would not make it go away, just make it fade enough so it didn't look like she had been mauled. He slowly moved out of the bed, a trick he had been perfecting since their first night together before the relay. Turians only slept a few hours a night and much less than Jane did even on her odd sleep pattern. It left him up before her on most nights.

He made his way to the bathroom and moved a finger through the small basket on the counter. He grabbed some soap and flipped the hot water on. He normally liked this time when Jane was still asleep. He could think, get his mind straight, work on whatever he needed to before she got up. He didn't like that time so much this time though. This time he had too much to think about and worry about.

He turned to let his back face the water. Placing his hands on the tile in front of him he leaned over a bit to let the water run down over his back. He closed his eyes thinking about what was next. He knew things were drawing to an end. They had the Quarians, Turians, Krogan, and Salarians. The asari was a hit or miss at this point. They needed one more piece to finish the crucible. Find Kai Lang and they would find the information they needed. Once that was complete, it was a push to Earth and they would be done. One way or another.

He felt his chest clench at that thought. He stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. Wrapping it around his waist, he looked out to the bed. Jane was still sleeping soundly. Garrus leaned on the doorframe and looked at his mate. He knew the chances of them both getting out of this alive were slim to none. He hoped if they both went it was together. He didn't like thinking about it at all. Not that anyone did. 

He shook it off. His mother had always told him that the important things were in the here and now. That the future had yet to be written and rethinking the past did not change the ink on the pages. He smiled at the thought of her. She would have liked Jane. That thought reminded him to check his omnitool. He had packed both his and Jane's in the one overnight bag. 

He moved to them on grabbed what he thought was his. Instead he grabbed Jane's. He knew immediatly when he couldn't get the link on his wrist. He shook his head, but noticed there was a message blinking icon on the link. He took it over to her and sat on the bed. He rubbed his hand over her back gently.

"Jane? Janey? Wake up honey. They've already tried to reach you." He waited a moment, rubbing her back gently.

She rolled over and threw her arm over her eyes. Letting her free hand move down to intertwine with his. She glanced at him with one eye partially open from under her arm. He was smirking.

"Real cute babe. Laugh it up. What color is the light?" She laid still waiting to hear his response. 

He sounded odd with his response. "Blue?"

Jane sat straight up in the bed and grabbed the omnitool. "Shit! Miranda!"

She got up out of the bed and glanced at the omnitool messaging system. There was no message. Just the light. That wasn't a good sign at all. 

Garrus stood up and walked over to her near the closed window. "What's going on Shepard? You haven't said a whole lot about Miranda. I understand if you can't say anything."

Jane sat down on the bed and tossed her omnitool link on the bed. Garrus didn't like the look on her face, the worry. He sat down on the bed next to her and put his arm around her waist. He kept the hold on her loose to give her room to move. 

She took a deep breath. "There isn't much to tell really. She is on the run from Cerberus. She lost touch with her sister and thinks their father has something to do with it. The last time I saw her she was tracking him. She asked for alliance access. Garrus, I granted it."

He nodded and listened. "I'll help any way that I can Jane. You know that. I trust your judgement. Do you know where she is?"

Shepard shook her head no and turned to him. "I told her to contact me when she needed me. That was a few weeks ago. Now this. I'll just have to wait."

Garrus nodded and leaned in to brush his head against hers. He ran a hand up her arm and to the bondmark. He smiled without thinking about it as his fingerpads ran over the mark. A slight sigh and moan escaped Jane making Garrus smile more.

"Is it sore? I can get some more medigel if you…."

She grabbed his hand and leaned into it. "No, please don't. It isn't that sore. Unless you are having…"

He put his hand over her mouth and shook his head, eyes closed, and a small clicking sound coming from his throat.  
"Don't finish that sentence. Don't even finish the thought."

He sighed and looked at the clock. Jane sighed as well and went to stand. She felt Garrus grab her hand and tug her back down. 

She looked at him to see his eyes were closed as if he was choosing his words carefully. He began to speak without opening his eyes at all. 

"When I first met you, well let's say I wasn't in the best place in my life. My career was not going well. I was in a job suited for my father, not so much for me. I was doing what my people said was right. I ended up leaving C-sec to go with you. Oh sure, I could say it was to chase Saren down, and part of it was. The other part was something I can't describe. It was like I had to do it. I neded to do it. I needed to be with you."

Jane turned her head a bit listening to him. 

"When I saw you on Omega, I had one bullet in the chamber. I had a small clip next to me. Nothing major. I was between a rock and a very very hard place. Then there was you. Like a beacon of light."

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes. "When you asked me to blow off some steam, I said yes initially because it would be a tension releif with someone i trusted. Then over time I started to think about you in ways I had only dreamed about."

He stood up and began pacing the room. "So, I did something I never thought I would do. I talked to Joker. I told him I was confused why I was having thoughts beyond a one night stand. Why I felt this way. What was wrong with me. Do you know what he told me?"

She shook her head, trying to follow him and make sense of where he was going with all this. He could sense that and nodded. "I promise I'll get you there. Just give me a minute."

She smiled at him and got a smile in return.

"Joker told me about his mom and dad. He said his dad told him once that he knew what true love was because of how it burned. It consumed you. It made you think things you never thought about with anyone else. It made you look at things, including yourself, differently. It made you do things, react, and say things that seemed insane to you. It was like a fire on the horizon. You could feel the heat but you still kept walking towards it until you become part of the horizon."

Garrus smiled and fiddled with his hands for a minute. "Do I regret our bonding? Not in the least. Do I regret anything that has brought me here, to this point, right now? No. Why?"

He knelt down in front of her and grabbed her hands in his. He smiled softly making her look up a bit and at him. 

"I have no regrets because I followed the fire on the horizon and melted into the horizon myself."

He kissed her gently until she began kissing back and they fell back into place on the bed for the last few hours before they had to return to the Normandy and finish this once and for all.


	41. Control, Shore Leave, and Bodyguards

Garrus and Shepard made their way back to the Normandy later in the day. The Citadel was under repair, security was tighter, and the war had arrived in the protective bubble the Citadel offered. Any other time Shepard would have been very aware of how she and Garrus looked to others, presented themselves, and corresponded. There was a time when all eyes were on them, and not because they were a couple. Everyone wanted the latest news on the great Commander Shepard. 

Now? Now she didn't give a damn and neither did anyone else it seemed. Garrus tested the waters a bit as they dropped the keycard in the kiosk in the commons. He placed his hand on her back as they moved through the crowd. When they made their way through the sea of people, he moved his hand back down. Shepard moved her hand and took his. They did this off and on until they reached the Normandy.

They stepped on the Normandy with Garrus' arm around her and didn't give it a second thought. As they stepped through to the bridge they talked to a few people and began gathering their bags. They turned to leave the area when they were suddenly stopped by Joker. He motioned quietly for them to step into the airlock area. The door shut behind him and he stepped to Shepard.

Garrus smirked and looked at the floor shuffling his feet a bit. He knew exactly what Joker was doing. Joker kept a deadpan face as he approached Shepard. She spoke first.

"What? What's wrong? Joker?" She moved her head back as Jeff pushed his hand to her collar and pulled it to the side.

He flung it back in place and followed it with thumping the sore area as hard as he could. 

"Oww! Hey!" Shepard grabbed her neck and Garrus let a chuckle out.

Jeff stood with his arms crossed. "I knew it! I knew you two would do something crazy like this. Just running off, bonding.." He waved his hands in a jazz hands manner.

"No thought to us. No thought to those of us who would have wanted to be there. No, no. Don't try to defend yourselves. Just go and think about what you did." He waived them away and shook his head as he sat back down in this pilots chair gently.

Garrus cleared his throat and walked over to him. He patted his large hand on Joker's shoulder. "Hey, flight lieutenant. It wasn't pre-planned. It just happened. We haven't talked about it, but I'm sure after the war we will make it official and you will be there."

Jeff nodded once. "Fine. Deal. But, you may want to cover that up or something. Your neck looks like it was mauled on prom night."

Garrus shook his head. "I don't even know what that is."

"And yet here we are." Joker replied before turning back to the console.

Garrus shook his head and put his arm lightly around Shepards waist. As they walked into the CIC they stopped short when everyone turned around and began clapping. Shepard turned back to Joker who was now looking at her, also clapping. 

"I might have heard and may have told a few five or twenty people. We're happy for you Commander. Throw us a bone. We need some good news right now."

Shepard smiled softly and did something totally out of character for her. She stepped over and gave Joker a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you Jeff."

Joker nodded once and turned back to his console, leaving the couple to walk out and through the CIC to he elevator.

As the doors to the elevator began to shut, Shepard noticed a notification on her terminal. She paused the doors and stepped out, moving to the console, and pressing the key to access her messages. She read over them and nodded, stepping back. 

"Traynor, have Joker set a course for Sanctuary. Hackett's request. Give myself or Counselor Vakarian and update on ETA as soon as you have it."

Shepard walked back to the elevator and let the doors shut. As she and Garrus walked to the cabin, Garrus began to speak.

"So, Sanctuary eh? What's going on?" He put the bags down and headed to the bathroom. He stood in front of the mirror and leaned his neck slightly to see how his mark was healing. It had already started to heal nicely. He admired the way the mark she had left looked very circular and connected. He smiled softly and stepped back out. 

"Hackett said they lost contact with Sanctuary a few days ago. They sent out a team, but didn't hear anything back. We are next to go in. He says it isn't a rescue mission. They don't have much hope that anything is really left, or anyone."

Garrus moved over and checked his own messages as he listened. "Looks like we are back to work. I already have a message myself."

Jane nodded and began getting ready for the stop at Sanctuary. 

______________________________________

Shepard decided to take James and Garrus along for this one. She wasn't sure what they would run into and she needed braun and braun for it. What they found was horrific by anyone's standards. People trying to escape death and being turned to husks. 

The most surprising part was finding Miranda, her sister, and her father there. Along for the ride was also Kai Lang. Thankfully, they didn't leave empty handed. Miranda and her fast thinking got them a tracking device on Kai Leng.

Shepard came in through the airlock just behind James. Garrus was behind her. None of them were speaking. Shepard stopped at Traynor's station and handed her the tracker Miranda had give her. 

"Track this. It's Kai Lang. Let me know when you find something. Also, tell Jeff to use protocol 42. He will understand. Vakarian and I are not to be disturbed. The cargo for Jeff is in the hold and guarded." She shook her head. She was exhausted and the things she had just seen shook her to her core.

"Fuck it Samantha, he knows what to do and so do you. Just go with it." She waved her hand at Traynor and turned to go. She heard Traynor's voice behind her.

"Jane, we've got this. We've got you."

Shepard turned her head to look over her shoulder and saw Sam nod and look back at her console. Jane looked at Garrus who gave her an affirming nod and smile. She walked over to Traynor and touched her shoulder. 

"Thank you Samantha. Really. Thank you."

Samantha smiled. "Thank you Commandar."

Jane turned and walked into the elevator to join Garrus. As the door closed she heard Samantha's voice. "And congrats you two."

Jane smiled and felt Garrus put his arm around her shoulder pulling her closer. They made their way to the Captain's cabin and stepped in.

"Home sweet home." Garrus said as they stepped in. He tossed his bag to the floor and threw himself down on the bed with a groan. He looked up and saw Shepherd sitting down on the sofa. She had grabbed a bottle of wine they had left and started to pour it.

"Spirits Garrus." She shook her head.

He chuckled slightly and sat up, putting his visor on the side table. "Well, I know it isn't the greatest home, but after the war we can upgrade. I showed you the lakehouse."

She looked up and glared for a moment, but couldn't hold it long. She laughed and shook her head. Garrus was now sitting up with one leg out and one knee bent with an arm draped over the bent knee.

"Very funny. I thought I had seen it all Garrus. I thought we had seen it all. This was just a nightmare train. I still can't believe this is what the Illusive Man had in mind. How does he think he can control them? What is the ultimate plan? How can we stop him?"

She shook her head and sat back sipping the wine. 

Garrus looked at her. "I don't know. I don't think he does think. I think this is a situation where he is obsessed and trying anything he can. As far as how we can stop him? We can't. Jane, you can't stop everyone. You can't fix everything. We handle this first. We get this stopped then we worry about him."

He stood to get some wine and heard the private message indicator go off. She sighed and leaned into his hand as he touched her shoulder.

"Could you get that?"

He nodded and moved over to the desk with a glass of wine in his hand. He ran his hand over the console and brought up the messages. 

"Anderson is available. Wants to speak to us. Adrian wanted to check in. Miranda is fine. Thanks you for using the old protocol for smuggling her and Oriana to safety. Claims Joker referenced her low cut top. Tali is in the lounge. Ohhhh that can't be good."

He swiped his hand over the screen closing it all out again. He moved over sitting next to her on the sofa. "So how do you want to deal with this? Divide and conquer or joined front?"

She laughed. "Joined front. Anderson first then Tali."

He nodded and stood, downing the glass, putting it down, and taking her hand. They headed to the war room and stood in front of the vidcom waiting to see Anderson. He came into view and they both smiled. 

"Well, I hear congratulations are in order. Sincerely you two, good for you. It's been a long time coming. Just promise me when you make it official I'll be there."

Jane smiled, "How about you give me away?" She was half joking until Anderson chuckled.

"I'd be honored." That sealed it for both her and Garrus. There was a small pause and Anderson spoke first.

"I read the quick report on what happened at Sanctuary. I knew Illusive Man was crazy and obsessed, but this? I'm in shock. It's disgusting and the council is already moving for charges of war crimes to be placed on him. He is a minor thought right now. Think about that for a moment. Things are so crazy that what he did is a minor issue right now." Anderson shook his head and sighed.

"Anyway, Hackett wanted me to issue some orders to you after all of this. Apparently there are some issues with the crucible. Nothing major. Just some supply issues. They will be cleared up in two weeks and there is no sign that two weeks will make or break this at this point. They are attacking daily, but it has been 5 months. Two weeks isn't going to matter. With that in mind, Hackett wants you fully rested and ready when you hit Earth. You have all been granted shore leave on the Citadel for 12 days. It is mandatory."

Jane went to protest and Anderson held his hand up. "Jane, I'm going to say this as blunt as I can. We have word that a Dr. Bryson may be involved somehow. In order to help him and in order to be ready for Earth, we have to finish the retrofits on the Normandy. We have to make sure she is ready and her Commander and crew are ready. The ship will be in dock during the 12 days being worked on and repaired. Take the time and enjoy it Jane. Enjoy the time with your friends. Most important take the time with Garrus. I wish I had the chance with Kaylee."

Garrus stood in the video site and nodded. "You know David, I'm still a bodyguard for her. Doc never took that away."

Anderson looked at Jane and nodded at Garrus. "Use it. Keep this one in line, off the Normandy, and on shore leave." He pointed at her and nodded once.

Garrus nodded back. "Yes sir."

Jane turned and looked between them. "Hey! FIrst off you aren't even Alliance Navy."

They all laughed without thinking about. The kind of laugh you do when you are tired and you've been fighting so much you forgot that there was anything to laugh about.

A few minutes later Garrus and Shepard walked out of the vidcom room and into the war room.

"I'll notify the crew and get everyone ready for the extended shore leave. Can you handle some things for me?"

It was the first time Jane had ever asked that question on a personal level. She had never trusted anyone enough to actually help her outside of the uniform. She wasn't sure if Garrus realized that or not. It was a huge step for her and something she was unsteady about.

Garrus nodded at her. "Of course. Send a honey made me list to my omnitool and I'll get on it."

Shepard laughed. "It's a honey do list."

Garrus chuckled and moved his hand side to side. "Little column A, little column B."

He turned to walk out of the war room and start work on his list and hers. She shouted out to him. "Thank you Vakarian."

He made sure she was looking as he winked and tapped a talon on his bond mark on his way out of the room.


	42. Realizations of Self

Garrus entered the cockpit area of the Normandy and leaned on the barrier wall just to the left of Joker. He didn't say anything. He just stood staring out at the empty space in front of them. Edi's fingers made slight clicking noises on her console as she entered in whatever data it was that she dealt with day in and day out. Edi stood and left the area, saying something about going to the engineering deck. Joker finally shook his head, in a bit of annoyance, and turned his chair to Garrus.

"What happened down there? And don't tell me the shit that EDI fed me with the basic rundown. What really happened?" 

Garrus sighed and turned to look at Joker. He finally walked over and sat down in EDI's seat, trying to get comfortable. 

"There was a computer lab. One of the systems had camera feeds from the Lazarus project. One of the feeds talked about the extensiveness of her injuries. It was bad. They practically rebuilt her and she was…." He paused for a second. It was clear Garrus was taken back by the information himself. The reality of it was still hitting him. 

He had always thought of her being dead simply as that. She had been spaced, she lost oxygen, she died. He never thought about how extensive it had to have been. It never occurred to him. He simply knew that the Lazarus project had brought her back. He didn't know how fast they had grabbed her, what they had to work with, anything. She was back and that's what he cared about it.

He took a deep breath and braced himself. "She was braindead. They had just enough to work with. Literally just enough."

Joker shook his head. "I knew it was bad. I was there Garrus. There was no way they wouldn't have to rebuild some parts of her. I'm guessing from the way she's robotically going through the motions the last two days that she isn't taking it well."

Garrus nodded. "Indeed, she is not. She is questioning everything. How much of her is her. What of her is implants and what is still Jane. She's even questioning if she was built to make the choices she is making. It's pretty bad. I've tried to tell her that she is still her. She needs to have that moment. She needs to see it and feel it and know it. I can't do that for her."

Joker nodded. He looked worried. Garrus took a deep sigh and stood up. He felt so much older than his years at that moment. The war was growing old. The loss was growing old. He was tired. He just wanted it all to be over. He wanted peace to come. He longed for the meetings and the appointments and the vids that would come from interviews following everything. He almost begged for it. It would be chaos, but it would be welcomed chaos.

He patted Joker on the shoulder, gently, and stepped out of the cockpit. "When are we set to arrive for shore leave?"

Joker looked at the console. "Twelve hours."

Garrus just nodded and made his way to the battery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was short. I've been waffling with trying to tackle shore leave and get to the push to Earth. I decided to do the Illusive Man's base first and then do shore leave, rather than how the game has it as shore leave happening first. There is a reason behind my madness for this. I promise. The next upload will be for the rest of the fiction. Shore leave, push to Earth, and the concluding chapters. I hope you guys like it and thanks so much for comments, kudos, etc. If you want updates on upcoming chapters and fiction, you can follow me on Twitter. :)


	43. Shore Leave Begins

Garrus made his way through the shops and storefronts of the Citadel. The goal was to get all of the meetings and items on his to-do list out of the way so he could actually enjoy shore leave with Shepard. He had already handled brokering some food and medicine exchanges, picked up some cleaning supplies for three of his rifles, upgraded the mod on his visor, and now he was on his way to see Adrian. 

He spotted the Primarch standing near the C-sec office trying to break away from the Asari councilor. Garrus had to smirk at the scene. He watched for a moment and finally decided to save him. Walking up he cleared his throat and put on his best professional voice.

"Primarch Victus! We have a situation that needs your attention right away. The fleet has been recalled to Earth, but we have formation issues. We need your assistance immediately." Garrus walked up with all the professionalism and military grace he could muster. 

Victus sighed and nodded his head. "Counselor, though I do understand your plight I have urgent issues to attend to. You've met my counselor? Yes?"

He waved a hand toward Garrus who simply nodded. The counselor sighed heavily. "Vakarian." She nodded to him and turned back to Victus. "Adrian, we simply must discuss this later. Advise me of an appropriate time."

Adrian nodded as the counselor left. He turned to a chuckling Garrus. 

"Garrus, had you not come when you did I would have moved to drastic measures. Like stabbing my own leg."

Garrus laughed out loud and patted Victus on the back leading them toward some tables in the commons. They sat down at Apollo's and waived over a waiter. It took a few minutes to get their orders in an get drinks. By that time they both were leaned back and relaxed. 

"So, let's see it." Adrian looked at Garrus and tapped his own neck.

Garrus leaned up and moved slightly so his neckline was visible. Adrian nodded as he looked over the now shiny scar that was left behind.

"Very nice. Clean mark. Looks like she doesn't just have a big mouth when she's talking." He chuckled a little and took a sip of his drink.

"Oh ha ha. Laugh it up. Keep going and I'll go tell the Asari councilor you have your entire afternoon free."

Victus looked up from his drink. "You wouldn't." 

"I was C-Sec. I can bellow across this entire commons so loud she could hear me across the Presidium. Try me."

Adrian shook his head. "Bastard. So, tell me what the plan is for the actual ceremony. There will be a ceremony, yes?"

Garrus nodded and swallowed the sip of beer he had in his mouth. 

"Yes. The plan is to have it after all this over. It will probably be just a small gathering. If there is anything left to gather to." His face got grim, which made Adrian pause.

"What's wrong Vakarian? War getting to you?" 

Garrus shook his head a bit. "No, not really. I suppose the problem is the same as it is for anyone else really. The last time I was facing a suicide mission I knew what the outcome would likely be. I also didn't have anything to really fight for. Jane and I had one night at that point and within a few hours of it we were fighting collectors. When the Reapers hit Palavan, I didn't even know if she was alive. I went straight into fighting with the hope she was alive, but I didn't know where we stood really."

Adrian nodded, listening, as he always did with Jane and Garrus. They were a lot alike in the regard. Adrian simply needed to start the ball rolling and let them carry it the rest of the way. Maybe that's what made the three of them such good friends. They understood each other.

"And now? What's changed now? What is different?" He took another sip of his drink.

Garrus took a pull off his beer. "You know what's changed. I have a bondmate to fight for, to live for, to worry about. It's driving me fucking crazy. It's made me a madman."

Adrian chuckled at that. "You've always had her to fight for Garrus. Be honest with yourself. In one way or another. You've always had her in your heart. You fought to be with her, to be back with her, to see her, to make sure she was safe. Now, the only thing that has changed is the stakes are higher. You're still fighting for her."

Garrus nodded. "I just wish she would stop worrying about this thing with the Lazarus project."

Adrian perked up at that. "Is this about the thing you messaged me about? The video feeds she saw?"

Garrus nodded as he sat back letting the waiter set down his plate. Garrus picked at his food about and took a bite. Swallowing he nodded. "Yeah. She didn't realize how bad it was. How awful it got. I'm not really sure what she expected to be honest."

"She probably didn't. If you stopped breathing in a horrific accident, woke up breathing in a new location, would you really put a lot of thought into the how and what? Probably not. She probably buried it, focused on the fight, and then had to face it. Were the vids really that bad?"

Adrian didn't know much about what had happened to Shepard. He had heard rumors, but other than that, he really didn't know much. Most of the stories out there were whispered on battlefields and the stuff of legends. You could only believe so much of that. 

Garrus sat back and thought on what Adrian had said for a bit. He pushed past the bondmate side of him and moved to the soldier side of him to answer the question he had been posed. 

"From what I can gather based on what I already knew and the vids, it was pretty stark. She was spaced while trying to save the rest of the crew. A rip happened in her suit and there was an issue with her breathing. She passed out from lack of oxygen, they believe she may have had a heart attack from it all at some point, and she died. She was spaced for an unknown amount of time before she was rescued by Cerberus. They took her to the labs and began the project. She was kept in a medically induced coma for 2 years while they rebuilt her. Rebuilt being the operative word. Her brain was still...in tact."

He cleared his throat at the last words and took a final swallow of beer before holding the bottle up to the waiter. 

Victus nodded. He hadn't realized it was that bad. "Well, that's pretty fucked up. The key thing she needs to keep in mind is in fact her mind."

Garrus looked at him oddly and Victus smiled. He leaned back and lit a smoke from his pack. 

"Her mind was in tact. That's where it all is after all. Her memories. Who she is. What she is. Her thoughts, dreams, feelings. We say it is in our hearts or souls, but without the mind…. She is still her Garrus. That's what she needs to remember. Who cares how many implants are in her."

Garrus took that in for a moment and nodded. He'd have to relay that to Jane when he…

He jumped when his omnitool went off. "The hell?"

He tapped it and an image of Joker came up. "Garrus! We got a problem. A major problem."

Garrus and Adrian both sat straight up. Neither of the soldiers liked hearing the words major problem in the same sentence.

Joker put his hands up. "No, wait. She's fine. She just. Okay, there was gunfire, people that don't like her, some agent named Brooks, and then Jane sort of fell through a fish tank. She's in the lower wards. At least I think that's where she landed."

Adrian blinked and then looked slightly amused. "Did he just say a fish tank?"

Joker heard the Primarch and sighed. "Okay, here's what happened."

 

It didn't take long for Joker to explain what had happened and for Garrus to be well on his way to Shepard. Over the course of the next 36 hours they dealt with a conspiracy, one dead casino owner, a rogue agent, and a clone of Shepard. Now, they were knelt down crawling through the ductwork of the Normandy, after saving it with a toothbrush. If Garrus thought too long about it he would need a stiff drink. 

They sat with Wrex, crouched down under the CIC waiting for Shepards go ahead. She gave the signal and the fight was on. Garrus, for one, was a little disappointed. Cerberus had really slacked on their training. It was way too easy to take that crew down. 

"That was too easy." Garrus said as they moved to the lift to go after Brooks and the clone.

Wrex grunted. "I'm kinda offended to be honest."

For the first time in two weeks, Jane laughed. The thought of going through all the had in the past just to have them be offended that a fight was too quick had her laughing. Garrus let the chuckling take him over as well. Wrex interjected a small chuckle. They pulled it together just as they got to the cargo hold and went straight into another fight. 

The three carefully walked into the cargo area. It wasn't long before the clone of Jane walked from around the corner of a stack of crates.

"Well, that's creepy." Shepard said taking in a deep breath. 

"You wanna stop shooting up my ship?" the clone said after taking cover.

"It's not your ship!" Shepard yelled back from her new cover spot.

"You think fake fingerprints are gonna fool the council? Or Hackett? How's that big plan looking now?"

Garrus had his eye on Shepard. His heart was racing as he glanced at Wrex. Wrex nodded to confirm he had his eye on the right Shepard.

The fight was on with one swoop from the clone. It was a rough fight, Garrus had to admit. They were in the middle of the fight, moving with the turns the Normandy was taking as it flew and shot at, what Shepard could only assume was Joker flying the shuttle.

"Lola, you copy?" Shepard took cover again.

"James!?! Did you get through the jamming systems?"

He confirmed and the ship kept taking turns. Jane and the clone were still fighting as Garrus and Wrex tried to keep everyone off her. That's when Garrus heard it. When he heard exactly what he needed to hear after those videos of the Lazarus project and the clone arriving.

"Do you know where these scars came from? I got these scars on Earth. I got these scars on Tuchanka and the collector base. I got these scars on Palavan and Thesia. I got these scars helping Thane and Jack. From taking down Donovan Hawke. I got these scars from my life. Not from a lab!"

That's when he saw her turn and take a run at the clone. He and Wrex popped up and Garrus kept his rifle trained on the clone then he saw it.

"Watch out!! That cargo door is unsecured!"

Just as he said it the two Jane's collided and began rolling down the open cargo bay.

"Shepard!" He and Wrex took off running to her. 

Both the clones were hanging on to the door.

"Quit slacking and get your ass up here!" Wrex yelled as he yanked one arm and Garrus pulled them up to safety.

Shepard breathed rapidly for a moment. It was Wrex that snapped her out of it.

"What about that pyjak?"

Jane leaned to the clone. "Take my hand."

The clone looked at her. "Then what?"

"You live!" She held her hand out and the clone moved, letting herself drop from the ship.

Jane's eyes closed and she felt Garrus pull her back.

A few minutes later, Brooks was in custody and being carted off and the ship was docking.

The crew made their way off the ship and into the dock.

Jane smiled. "Finally. We can have some shore leave time. Just us. No explosions or anything."

"I'll believe it when I see it." Garrus said.

He put his arm around her and smiled at the others as they walked off. "What happens on shore leave stays on shore leave."

As they departed with their arms around the others waist, Jane looked up and laughed. Standing at the dock, leaning against a pillar and shaking his head in amusement was Adrian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed my mind on finishing it all at once.


	44. Relaxation and Planning

Garrus walked with Shepard to the Silversun Strip. He had his arm around her waist as they strolled slowly to the apartment. They had picked up some things for the upcoming party they were planning, and for the three days after when they would be alone before having to go back to the Normandy. Shepard had made a pit stop during their shopping trip to spend an enormous amount of credits on Grunt.

"I still can't believe those damages. He burned up a C-Sec car." She said in disbelief as she glanced at some of the shop windows. It occurred to her, at one of them, that she had not worn civilian clothes in months. She didn't even know what was in style anymore. She was wearing what would pass for civilian clothes. The problem was they were yoga style pants, a zip up hoodie, and a tank top that all had the N7 logo. None of it was exactly fashion forward.

Garrus chuckled. He was dressed similar to her. The only difference was his hoodie, or what would pass for one, had some Turian script on the back that she was told stood for an academy on Palavan. Someplace he had taught at years ago as a summer internship of sorts. 

"Might I remind you that you fell through a fish tank. Hmm, great story. Good one to tell when you meet the family for the first time. Always good to have an ice breaker with Turian in laws."

She smiled at him as they made their way to Tiberius Towers. They stepped through the elevator and inside. 

"So he just gave it to you? That seems rather final don't you think?" Garrus asked as the elevator climbed to the apartment.

"Yeah, I thought so. I think if he makes it, and if Sanders makes it, his plan is to find something away from military activity. So, no Citadel. Some place quiet." 

The doors opened and Garrus stepped through. Taking her hand they walked past the small furniture shop and to the entrance to the apartment hallway. He watched as Jane took out the key card and swiped it. The door beeped and they stepped through. 

"So what do you want to do with the place after the war?" Garrus said as they made it to the door and inside the apartment itself. 

"I hadn't really thought about it to be honest. What do you think?" Garrus blinked at that question as he sat the bags down in the kitchen. He looked around the apartment, just the two of them standing there for now. 

"It's awful big for two people. We might have to work on filling it up." He smirked and pulled her to him as she smiled.

"Biology? Every think about that?"

He nodded. "Mmhmm. Adoption isn't unheard of. I'm thinking one human, one turian, one krogan. We could also go with one asari instead."

She pulled back a bit confused and amused. "Why just one asari?"

"They are a blend of all of them." He let the straight face go and started laughing.

"Sorry bad turian joke." He laughed.

She popped his arm and walked to the living room area. He watched how easy it was for her. She already seemed at home. He loved it. If he were to be honest he liked it too. It seemed right. Seemed easy. He could see children playing on a blanket in the tv room. Maybe one learning the piano, like his mother had played. Changing out the furniture a bit making the decor their own. He could live here. Easily.

He walked in to join her on the sofa. Reaching over he ran a talon through her hair. 

"Penny for your thoughts." He said softly.

"Garrus what if…"

"No." He responded simply.

"But Garrus we have to talk about it."

"No, we don't. Because let me tell why. We've always had a back up plan. We've always had something in place. A protocol only we knew about it. Something we could pull out of our ass when we needed it. We will do the same. Once we get to Earth. Once we see what we are dealing with. We will do what we always do." He smiled at her. 

He was right. She knew it. They had always come up with something. But what if this time there was nothing to come up with.

"There's always something to come up with. As long as you have one bullet, you have hope."

She blinked. "Did you just read my mind Counselor Vakarian Sir?"

"Um, that's advisor Vakarian and you can just call me...what is that you always call me during certain times? Oh yeah? God."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. He loved seeing her finally relaxed. Loved having her in his arms. He loved this. He could easily forget anything was going on outside those doors.

He cleared his throat a little and Jane caught the scent of sandalwood that she loved so much. 

"No, I didn't read your mind, but I know what you were thinking. I have thought it too. We will come up with something. We always do."

He hugged her to him and she leaned back against his chest. They laid on the sofa like that for what seemed like forever. It had only been half an hour when they heard glyph. 

"Commander. Would you like me to send out invitations now?"

Jane nodded and stretched against Garrus. "Yes, glyph. To everyone Adrian Victus on the list please."

Jane stood as glyph moved away. "Oh and glyph? Give us at least three hours to prepare."

Garrus laid on the sofa looking up at her. Damn he looked relaxed, she thought. She could get used to this. 

"Come on you old soldier. We have to shower and get ready."

He smiled at her. "But I'm not dirty."

"Well maybe we should get you a little dirty then."


	45. Thoughts and Metal

Shepard stood in front of the half fogged mirror in the master bathroom. Garrus was still showering and letting the hot water run down his back. He finally admitted to her that his neck and back had been a little stiff since the assault on Thessia. He had tried some pain killers, but they just weren't kicking in. The shower in the apartment was much hotter than the Normandy and it seemed to soothe him a bit.

She ran her hand along the mirror, smearing away the fog. Turning her neck a bit she looked at her bondmark. Her hand absently moved to it and her fingers traced over the scar. She had kept it hidden on and off. Sometimes it was just the diplomatic thing to do. Other times she hadn't really thought about it because the uniform covered it. After the videos from the Lazarus project and then the clone though, things had changed.

She remembered, for a moment, seeing the clone the first time. When she saw the lack of a bondmark on the clone it jolted her for a minute. She remembered feeling sad. Sad at the thought of being the clone, of not having that memory. Of not having any memories of Garrus or how they got to where they are. That's when it hit her. She couldn't be all machine if that simple of a thing caught her right in the feels. 

The truth was, she never thought of herself as married really. Sure she had been engaged to Kaidan, but it never seemed as real as this. It always seemed like a lot of hassle with planning everything. Everything was about planning. Not with Garrus. Hell, there was no planning. It just was. They were together. There were no invitations, seating charts, music, or food. It was just simply them, in that moment, making a choice for a lifetime that didn't need a second of debate. That thought made her smile. It also made her realize that it was time to stop hiding Jane from everyone. 

Sure, everyone had seen a bit of her here and there. But, these were her true friends. Her closest friends. Her family. None of them had seen Jane fully except for Garrus, Adrian, and Joker. The rest...only glimpses. Tonight that would change. By the spirits if she was going to be taken out in a blaze of reaper light, she was going to make damn sure people knew the side of her that meant the most. The out of uniform Jane. The Jane that sat in far too old PJs on a sofa watching a stupid broadcasted show while she ate cereal and let her hair fall in a messy ponytail. The Jane that liked to sit in shorts and a tank top and read a real book while she had coffee. The Jane that, on some mornings, woke up and turned on Krogan death metal while she made coffee. Okay, maybe not that Jane. But, the rest. Yes.

Garrus stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. "What are you doing? What's the smirk for."

"No one needs to see death metal Jane." She said through laughter.

"I know I didn't need to when I did." He shook his head as he reached for some oils for his shoulder.

"I think it's time for our friends to see the us that we usually hide away. The full off duty versions of us." She leaned on the counter and looked at her mate. 

Garrus took a glance at her as he rubbed oil on dryer parts of his skin. Thessia had really messed with his moisture levels which normally would sound odd, but for turians and krogans it could be painful.

"So you decided to lead with death metal?" Garrus asked.

"No, I was just thinking that was an aspect of me. Like my cereal eating side."

"Equally as disturbing the first time I saw it. You looked like an overgrown kid." 

Jane laughed a little and walked into the bedroom to find something to wear for the party. 

"Really, because that picture you thought you would embarrass me with.. You know the one you sent to your sister Sol? Yeah, she got back to me and said it looked just like you used to when you were a teenager." She raised an eyebrow at him as he walked in looking shocked, removing the towel and tossing it to grab clothes.

"She didn't message you." He said as he pulled a shirt over his head and down his chest.

He turned just in time to come face to face with Jane holding up a tablet with the email. He read one line. 

"OMG That looks like Gar when he was a fucking teenager. That's great!!!!" He frowned and scanned down to see his sisters signature.

"Fine! But it was still disturbing. And also I don't like you two teaming up. That makes me nervous and paranoid." 

"But she is my sister in law now and as sisters…"

He put a finger up at her. "Stop it. Stop it now."

She let out a true full laugh, which honestly made him smile.

They both got dressed and Garrus smiled when he saw Jane choose a dress. It showed off the bondmark perfectly. He walked over tapping it lightly with his hand, then leaning in kissing her gently there. 

"I love seeing that." He said roughly as he took in her perfume.

"I love seeing it on you too. I never thought I'd be married. I love it. I love you." Jane replied softly.

Garrus smiled against her neck and held her for a moment. "I always wanted the spirits to grant me with someone. I never imagined I'd luck out and get perfection."

Jane melted against him. It wasn't long before they heard the doorbell. The party was about to start. 

"Are you ready to make our first social debut Mr. Vakarian?" She smiled up at him, her hair flowing down her shoulders like he liked it. 

"I believe I am Mrs. Vakarian. Let's do this." He took her hand and lead her downstairs to greet everyone.


	46. What Happens on Shore Leave

Glyph asked Jane if she wanted the party to be quiet or upbeat. She would have enough quiet later. Right now she wanted a full party. She and Garrus separated during the party. It would have seemed odd to her years before. She was always used to staying by whoever she was dating or with at the time during parties. This didn't seem odd to her. It seemed comfortable. She could almost feel Garrus throughout the apartment. She even tested the theory by stopping during a conversation with Jeff and looking in the direction she thought Garrus was in. There he was. Exactly where she thought he would be.

He just looked at her and nodded his head smiling as he kept talking to the group. A few minutes later, after convincing Jeff to dance with EDI, she moved around to everyone. She made sure to talk to everyone, to have fun, mingle. Get the feel for the party.

She stepped into the bar area after talking to Tali. Wrex, Garrus, Cortez, and Jeff were talking shop. She shook her head as she walked behind the bar and let her hand casually slide across Garrus' waist and back. He let his right hand drop from the bar and found his fingers touching hers. He kept talking as he squeezed her hand lightly.

"You boys talking shop?" She quipped at them as she poured herself a drink.

Cortez answered first. "Nah, Commander. We like this. It's fine. It's all in fun."

She listened for a bit as they picked on Jeff about not having a firearm in reach and it being a long time since he had qualified on the range. 

"A weapon you can't reach is no weapon at all." Garrus chimed in. 

Jeff tried to use EDI as his reasoning. Jane shook her head. She thought about it for a minute. She knew that Garrus was as good, if not better in certain cases, a shot as she was. In fact, she would admit sniper wise, he was better. He could be right there beside her, wide awake, and she would still have a gun within palming distance. She was about to make her point when Wrex chimed in.

"This is a man-mergency!" He was slightly drunk and she could tell by his small hop and hand clap. This was going to end with broken things and she knew it. She just smiled to herself and shook her head as she patted Garrus and let her hand trail over his back.

She made her rounds again and the drinks started pouring a little more freely. That's when she heard the door open. She turned from her place on the kitchen counter where she was perched. She and Jack were laughing as they teased each other about MIranda. 

Jane looked at her and laughed. "Hey all I'm saying is that tension is a good thing to blow off with someone and she…"

Jack laughed and threw back a shot of whiskey. "Stop right there Shepard. Besides she'd probably start cheering in the middle of it and I'd have to punch her in the throat."

Jane looked over at the door and let a wide smile across her face. Now it was really a party. There stood Victus, someone she had considered to be a closer friend that anyone else, next to Garrus, at this point. He got her, he got Garrus, and they got each other. 

He was in casual clothes and holding a bag that she was certain was full of drinks. She jumped off the counter and half jogged to him. He was a bit surprised when she hugged him. He hugged her back with his free hand as he nodded over her shoulder to Garrus.

"Thank you for coming." Jane said in his ear.

He smiled at her and kissed her cheek. "I wouldn't be anywhere else."

He moved from the embrace and moved to Garrus with his hand extended. Garrus took it and pulled the Primarch into a hug. 

"Glad you could make it Adrian. This party has been good, but it's early." Garrus stepped back and took the bag. Taking a look inside of it he smiled. "Oh hell, you didn't."

Adrian left and guided Jane up the stairs to the sitting area on the second floor. "Oh yes sir, I did. If this is going to be the last party, by the spirits it's going to be a party."

Everyone was dancing and enjoying themselves. The three were not really missed as people started pairing off and things started becoming a lot more like Vegas than shore leave. 

Jane looked up and blinked. "Did I just see…."

Garrus was sprawled out on one of the sofas facing Adrian who was sprawled out on the other sofa laying in the opposite direction so they could easily talk. Jane was sitting between Garrus' legs relaxing. 

"MIranda leading Kaidan into a room. Yes, yes you did. And yes, I am frightened as well."

Adrian laughed. "What happens on shore leave stays on shore leave. Some things apparently should. So, you two. When is the real ceremony?"

Jane blushed a bit. She knew then she had to be drunk. "When the war is over."

Adrian nodded. "I'm not sure about human customs. Turian customs are for the female mate to be given to the male mate and vice versa. The person doing that is usually someone who is a father or brother type. Do you have that?"  
"Well David Anderson has offered. I don't have a father. He is the closest thing." Jane said softly as she drank her beer.

Adrian nodded again. "Garrus? I'm assuming your father or sister then?"

Garrus simply nodded. "That was my assumption."

Garrus took a breathe. "Will you perform the ceremony Adrian? We would be honored."

Jane looked at Garrus and to Adrian. He looked taken back. She was about to say no that it was okay when Adrian spoke up. "I would be honored."

He held his glass up in a toast. That's when Garrus noticed it. He followed Adrian's eyes. Oh, this was going to be interesting.

Garrus leaned and looked over and around the corner. "T'Soni! Get over here."

She came up a bit giddy, very drunk, and very relaxed. "What Garrus? I was busy with Kasumi watching push ups. It was getting...interesting."

Garrus stood up, as much as he could with as much as he had been drinking. He took Liara's hand and lead her over, surprised look and all, to Adrian. Adrian quickly put his drink down and stood up, clearing his throat a bit. He also took a moment to give a glare to Garrus.

"Dr. Liara T'soni, this is Primarch Adrien Victus. I know you met briefly but I think you two may have a lot to talk about. You see Adrian, T'soni has actually done some study on your military tactics. You might find her viewpoint interesting. And T'soni? Adrian dabbled in some archaeology in his earlier military days. A hobby of his I believe. He visited one of your earlier digsites."

The two were smiling at each other as Garrus stepped back from his introduction. He moved back over to Jane and held his hand out to help her off the sofa. As they walked with their arms around each other through the apartment, Jane shook her head.

"What was that all about?"

Garrus rubbed her side and laughed a little. "We aren't the only ones that need to get laid. I'm not marriage brokering here, but his wife has been gone for a long time. He needs to…"

"Release some tension?" They both laughed as Garrus stopped against the wall and brought Jane to him in a close hug. 

"Indeed." He said against her forehead. 

"Now speaking of releasing tension. I have something for you." Garrus raised an eyebrow at Jane's statement. 

She turned and crooked her finger at him as she walked to the master bedroom. He smirked and downed his drink before grabbing a suitcase of beers and taking them up the stairs. Everyone else was pairing off in either discussions or doing the things that stay on shore leave. He made it to the room and the door slid shut behind them. He jumped slightly. He hadn't seen any doors when he did a security walk through earlier. Nice.

Jane giggled, actually giggled, and stepped into the master bathroom. Her voice carried out of the room and into the bedroom. "Why don't you get comfortable Officer Vakarian. I'll be out in a minute."

He chuckled and made his way to the bed. Taking off his boots he leaned back with his back on the headboard and legs stretched out. He had just leaned over to grab a beer and crack it open when he noticed a shadow in the bathroom doorway. He looked up and nearly choked. There was his bondmate standing in the doorway.

She was wearing a black silk robe that was open in a split down the middle. The rob stopped at mid thigh. She was barefoot and standing just inside the door frame so the robe showed off the curves of her breasts. Her hair was down and flowing like it was that last night on Omega. Soft curls around her shoulders. Like silk. His eyes traveled and that's when he saw it. The wing necklace he had left her. She wore it often enough, but seeing it like that, cradled just at the top of the curve of her breasts. He took in a breath and went to stand. 

She shook her head and began a slow walk to the bed. Deliberate walking that made sure the robe never opened totally and showed off just enough to play with his mind. She made it to the bed, crawling on, and straddling him. Her hand gentle on his chest as she pushed him back against the headboard. 

Her voice was soft and sultry. She placed a kiss at his bondmark. "You know it occurred to me. Every Time we have been together it has either been about me, us, or just getting the tension out. It's never totally been about you. Tonight it is. Tonight is for you Garrus. 

He shuddered a bit and for several reasons. The first for the shear impact of her words. The second for the fear that this may be their last night together. The third because no one, no ex girlfriend even, had ever done this for him. He wasn't sure how to react. So, he took her lead. 

She smiled as she leaned down and began to kiss her way down to his hips. He gasped and gripped the sheets as he felt her teeth nip at his hips. The left, then the right. His hands found their way to her hair as she smiled. He had just started to gain back some sort of composure when he felt her warm lips and wet mouth surround him. His hips bucked off the bed pushing himself further into her mouth.

Jane responded with a moan that vibrates all the way through his body. She let her hands move over his legs and thighs as she moved her mouth up and down slowly enjoying his reactions and the sounds he was making. The subharmonics that should could catch made her entire body come alive. She worked her mouth lower and lower until Garrus could feel his mates throat against him. He took in a deep breath and gripped her hair as he felt her swallow against him. It nearly did him in. 

She moaned against him and that was it. He couldn't take anymore of the sensual torture she was giving him. Jane felt Garrus grip her hair and guide her up sternly, but not too rough. He grunted as her mouth came off him and she looked up to him with a smirk on her face. 

"Oh, you're in trouble now Commander." He smirked back at her and took her shoulders. Pulling her up she moved her legs to straddle him only to be surprised by being flipped over on her back. Before she could blink Garrus had his body over hers and his mouth at her neck. He grunted and pushed himself further between her legs until she could feel the tip of his cock brushing against her.

"I'll never get used to how wet you get for me love. Never. It's like being surrounded by warm wet silk." He moaned as he pushed into her. His hand reached down to grab her leg and pull it up almost to his shoulder. He positioned himself and began driving into her fast and deep. Looking her in the eyes watching her face contort and the moans escape her mouth.

"Garrus. Garrus, faster. Harder. Don't hold back. Please. I need to feel you. All of you." She managed to get it out between dragging breaths caused each time he thrust up into her. 

He chuckled at her begging. "What you ask for you shall we receive." 

He moved slightly and got on his knees between her legs. Her eyes widened as he brought her legs up positioning her just like he wanted. He took one thrust and drove his cock all the way into her warm waiting silky core. She let out a gasp that she was fairly certain would be whispered about by their houseguests later. He laughed. He loved bringing that out in her and seeing her give in to the feeling. It was one of the things he strived for. To break her walls down and get her to release to the feelings. Let everything go. That was the best gift to him.

He began hammering into her faster and harder. His talons grabbing onto her hips and thrusting harder and harder. He grunted. He knew he was close. 

"Cum for me Janey. Cum for me. Cover me in you. Do it. Let go. Let go…"

He moaned out as he felt her grip him tight. He could feel her spasming on his cock. Gripping and massaging him through her own orgasm. That's all it took. He grunted and pushed in pulsing and cumming inside of her. Flooding her as he covered her with his body again. She managed to get her head near his ear and whispered "I love you."

He nodded and licked her neck whispering it back to her. As they finally both came down from their spirals they pulled each other equally close. Both thinking the same thing as much as they tried not to. 

They didn't need to speak about it. Nothing needed to be said. This moment was for them. Just them. No matter how many people were in the house. No matter how many people were nearby. They were in their own little world. With jobs like they had, and with everything expected of them, they had to take moments like this. 

Jane moved her hand up to Garrus' shoulder and to his bondmark on the side of his neck. She began to drift off as her fingers moved slowly and lightly over the mark. It was something she had started doing the past few nights they were lucky enough to actually sleep. Garrus moved one hand behind her head keeping her tucked into his shoulder and the other hand on her back slowly rubbing her back and hip. For the moment they had comfort in each other and in the knowledge they would never be alone. Never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has been so long, but it's finally here. The final chapters of Fire on the Horizon. I hope you love it.


	47. Beacons of Light

Jane was exhausted. She had never been as exhausted as she was at this moment. They were two days away from Earth, at most. She had to stop on the way to check on an issue with a Dr. Bryson. Long story short, at least shorter than her report on the matter, was a series of issues that included the usual suspects. Indoctrination, brainwashing, a hidden possible allegiance, and a near death experience by the Commander herself. The end result was some information and an ally in the fight. 

When they had returned to the ship, they found out that the Citadel had been moved to Earth. The catalyst was in place. It was real now. Jane knew it, the crew knew it, Garrus knew it. Everyone was gathering to end this for good or bad. 

They had faced this before, but this time it felt different. Jane wished it was just her that felt different. She knew that wasn't true. She could see it on everyone's face. They all knew. This was it. The big it. 

Garrus had gone to take care of some final calibrations and make sure engineering was ready to go. That's what he had told her. She knew better. He was saying his farewells. He knew that he would be down in the trenches with her and his chances were about as good as hers. It was odd in a way. Jane felt calmer than she ever had. Was she ready to die? No, of course not. But her mind and body seemed to have synced with the idea that there was truly nothing more she could do. Nothing more she could say. Nothing more she could do but fight the final battle and be done.

Over the course of the next two days she and Garrus acted as if nothing was really happening. This was a mission like any other. They were just going on a mission. Even when they arrived on Earth and say the truth of what they were facing, they still looked at it as a mission. And now, here they stood. Looking at each other. This was it. This was the rush to the finish.

Garrus joked about a turian human baby. It was a half joke. They had talked about it before. Briefly. They agreed that neither of them had ever thought they would get here or to a point that they would be married, much less having kids. They agreed adoption would likely be best. This talk now, in the streets of London, was to keep their minds off the truth. As Jane hugged Garrus and kissed for what may be the final time, he caught her off guard.

"Commander. Forgive the insubordination, but your bondmate has a request for you. Come back to me alive. The galaxy would be an awful lonely place without you. And not because other people need the great Commander Shepard. Because I need my wife." 

It took everything she could to hold it together as she walked toward the war room. Hackett was on coms, Anderson was waiting, and there were a few soldiers and generals she had never seen. She let it sink in for a moment how young some of the looked. Not surprising. It had always been said the fastest way to rank was a war and death. She shook off the thought and stepped up to the table.

It was a fairly quick discussion. The basic idea was to rush through, get to the hammer, press "the button", activate the catalyst, and then hopefully win everything. The problem was getting there. Fighting their way through. Shepard made her speech and began the walk to the battlefield. It was like hell out there, but she had battled through hell before. 

As she walked out, she looked at Garrus, waiting until everyone was out of earshot. "Did adrian get in place?"

Garrus moved closer to her, nodding and putting his hand on her shoulder. He dropped his voice to almost a whisper. "Yeah, he got to the Normandy. He gave some bullshit speech about how he needed to be closer to the Turian fleets but far enough away to survive should something go wrong. Joker gave me the protocol signal that the plan is in place."

Shepard nodded. She didn't like the escape plan they had come up with. It relied on too many what if's. The first and main one being that the four people that knew about it lived long enough to enact it. The second thing was making sure they could actually pull it off. Shepard knew the second she had talked to Hackett about the citadel moving towards Earth that this was a suicide mission. She would be damned if she would lay down her life for the Alliance again just because they were too lazy to come up with a way for her to get out. Lay it down on the field for humanity? Sure. Lay it down for Hackett so he got the pat on the back and didn't have to really do anything? No. She learned her lesson with that man the hard way through the Batarians.

Shepard, Garrus, and James made their way to through the reapers on the ground. Fighting through buildings and killing or clearing anything they could to make sure the final push team could even make it to the front lines. Medical supplies had been left in locations throughout for them by previous teams. It reminded Shepard of what they found when they helped Grunt.

She kept hearing things like "being slaughtered out here Commander" and reroutes of companies and teams. That always bothered her. Not just because it meant the death of soldiers, but also that it came off like she was in the middle of her nail filing hour rather than fighting. Yeah, Garrus was right. They had done this too long. It was time for them both to retire. She laughed a little at that making Garrus turn his head from behind the building cover he had taken. She shook it off and smiled at him, making him shake his head and go back to fighting.

She looked up to see Anderson, his small team, and a beacon of light ahead of them. The beacon was in a tower near them. It was to give them a directional source to the control room. The room had been set up my engineers and would act as a way to get to the citadel. A small team would get to the beacon, get on the citadel, and find the control room to set off the crucible. The fact that they still didn't really know what the crucible did, other than dock and open it's arms, didn't seem to bother anyone. Well, anyone but Shepard. 

 

A few people had thought it was a beacon from a reaper, until Garrus and Shepard explained that they had reddish beams or blue tint beams, not pure white like this was. The whole light beacon was a hell of a risk, but one they had to take to get this done. There was no way they would have found the control room and tower in this hot mess of shit without it.

They finally began to get close when they saw, directly in the way of the beam, a reaper. Luckily for Shepard's team they had EDI on the Normandy. She could target it and take it out just like on Rannoch. That's exactly what she did. Once they met up with Anderson, they discussed everything one last time and got on the shuttle. 

The shuttle landed hard in front of an open field directly in line with the beacon. The small team stood and looked for a second then began to move. Hammer squad was on the move. It took what seemed like an eternity to make it across the field. Shepard felt like the closer they got the farther away the beacon was. She was close. She could hear Garrus behind her. The last thing she saw was a beam of light and an explosion. She could still hear her coms though. 

"My God, they are all gone."

She looked around trying to sit up. Everything was hazy. She could still make out the beam. 

"Did anyone make it to the beam?" Shepard tried to answer, but couldn't get her jaw to move. She stood up and began to fight toward the beam slowly.

She felt sluggish. Like she was walking through mud. Finally making it to the beam, she felt a warmth and heard a voice. 

"Shepard…Shepard."


	48. No Hero Left Behind

During that final push, James and Garrus were right behind Jane. Garrus turned his head just in time to see a military truck get hit by a reaper beam and fly into the air. He ran one way and James ran the other. Unfortunately, some of the metal from the truck hit Garrus, knocking him down and to the side. Jane stopped and ran to him. James and Shepard managed to get to Garrus and move him to cover. 

"Normandy! Normandy, I need an evac. I need an evac now Joker!"

She turned to Garrus and looked at his leg. It was mangled pretty bad. She took the damaged side of his face in her palm and looked in his eyes. He kept his focus on her and smiled. "Don't think I'll be doing that tango again anytime soon love. Sorry about that."

She smiled a bit and looked toward the sound that had to be the Normandy. "Awww, that hurts my feelings honey. You know how much I love dancing."

The Normandy landed and she and James picked Garrus up, helping him to the Normandy. James didn't notice Jane whisper to Garrus.

"Garrus, get to Adrian. I'm going to head to the beam. Just make sure you guys are in place. I don't want to die here Garrus."

He nodded. They got him on the ship just in time to see another military truck explode. Shepard heard the sound of the reaper and turned to see it. She turned back waving her hand. "Go, Go!"

Garrus thought fast. He knew that he had to do something or people would catch onto the escape plan and try to stop it. There wouldn't be time to explain everything.

"You've got to be kidding me."

She turned and realized what he was doing. They bantered back and forth until Jane finally walked up the plank to her bondmate. 

"Garrus, please. Go. I love you and I always will." Her hand touched his and he let it linger for a minute.

"I...I love you too." He felt her hand slip his as she turned to the beacon. 

Once they were on the Normandy, Garrus broke free of James and leaned on a stack of crates. He hit his comm link and pushed James away. 

"Joker, I'm on the Normandy. Protocol 42. PROTOCOL 42!" He screamed the last part of it through the pain in his leg.

As they flew out of range, he heard Hackett. "This is it. The arms are opening. Ten seconds to contact."

Eleven seconds later, because Garrus was that kind of asshole that counted it down, there was a surge against the Normandy and some cursing from Joker.

Garrus got up and made it to the lift. He stumbled onto the CIC and to the cockpit. Everyone was as silent as death. It was Adrian, who was standing in the cockpit behind Joker, that spoke first. 

"We did it. It's done." Garrus looked out at the area that Victus was pointing to and saw the reaper forces falling off one by one, exploding, just caving, and for all intents and purposes dying. It was silent in the cockpit with only a few small jolts every now and then. 

Joker turned his head and looked at the two Turians standing behind him. "Okay, let's go get her."

Before anyone could say anything, Hackett came across the coms. "No one is going anywhere. She did her part. It's over. She will be given all the honors…"

He was cut off by Joker. "What?!? Oh my God. You used her and Anderson. You used them as a distraction. They were…."

Adrian finished the statement. "Bait. Fucking human bastard."

That's when Garrus saw it. He was already trying to figure out how to get an evac team down to Jane's last location and get her. Victus was five steps ahead of him. He grabbed the comm link and cleared his throat. 

"Joker, open all channels. On the ship and off."

Joker blinked, but did what was asked. He waved his hand to let Victus know the comms were open. 

"This is Primarch Adrien Victus. We had two missions today. To end this war and to get Commander Shepard out safely. We have just received word that only one of those things was the intention of some of our allies. Shepard has laid down herself, and possibly her life, for this. She is a bondmate to one of our brothers. We will not leave her on a battlefield as a casualty of war. We can't save the ones we have lost, brothers and sisters. But, we can retrieve her. We can retrieve the woman who gave her all for us."

He cut the comm for a moment to let that sink in and to look around him. The crew was nodding. He looked at Garrus and patted his back before going back to the speech.

"We have been told by Admiral Hackett to stand down. We are turians. We do not stand down. I need Armach company to clear the Normandy a path. As of this moment, the Normandy is now under control of the Turian government under my orders. We have one mission. Get into Earth, find Commander Jane Shepard Vakarian, and get her the fuck out of there."

You could hear cheering across the Normandy, and if you were on the ground you would be deafned by it. Hackett stood with his hands on either side of his console and his head down. He shook his head and turned to his right hand. 

"Sir, do you want us to shoot down the Normandy?"

Hackett shook his head. "And do what lieutenant? Shoot down the entire Krogan, Turian, and Qurian fleets that will fire on us? She's their god damn savior and hero. Ever fleet in the galaxy will have our asses. No, let them do this. Just fucking let them get their hero."

Comms were silent for a few minutes. A gruff voice broke through. "Garrus! We're clearing you a path to her. We know where she went down. There's a lot of rubble though."

Garrus laughed. "Wrex. You old bastard. We need a medical team to her."

He winced and looked down at the med team working on his leg right there in the cockpit. The floor was getting covered in blue blood. 

"That's my sister down there. We'll get her Garrus."

Garrus stood up and looked out of the cockpit. He was following Joker and Adrian's gaze. Just in their view was an entire fleet of escort. Lead by the Quarians. Raan was in the lead with the Turians not far behind. If anything got in their way, they would be decimated.

It took about half an hour to get back to Earth and get the medical team suited up. Garrus made it to the cockpit, limping, but made it. He blinked when he got there. Standing in the hanger and loading up the shuttle was Dr. Chakwas. That wasn't a surprise. What was a surprise was Kasumi. She was helping them load up. 

"Kasumi?" She looked up at Garrus and smiled. She walked up and hugged him. 

"I am the only one that can get in and out of there if there is a problem. I know enough about medical to keep her alive until you can clear in there. Jack is on the ground. Her students will put up a barrier around us. We can do this Garrus. One way or another."

He nodded and patted her shoulder. Karen came out of the shuttle.

"We're ready. We have her locked in. We are bringing her home. One way or another."

Garrus smiled at her and got on the shuttle. No one questioned him or tried to stop him. This was his battle more than anyone's. They were going to get Shepard and bring her home.

 

The escorts managed to get them a clear path in. Kasumi spotted Jane's body before the shuttle could land. Finding a clear landing spot was difficult. Especially at ground zero. Kasumi shook her head and vanished out. A split second later Garrus saw her appear next to Jane. Kasumi checked for a pulse as Garrus held his breath. It seemed like an eternity before Kasumi looked up and gave the all clear as she nodded. That's when all hell broke loose.

Every troop, every unit, everyone began working and clearing a path. Wrex was at the lead of the ground units. It took a few minutes, but the shuttle finally landed and Garrus was on the ground before anyone could blink. His leg was killing him, but he ran anyway. He tore through to the front and got into the ground zero area. He finally made it to Jane and Kasumi. Kneeling down he scooped his bondmate up and began carrying her back to the shuttle. 

The vids would later show Garrus carrying Shepard to the shuttle as he was flanked by soldiers saluting.


	49. Living off the Royalties

The minute he got Shepard to the Normandy the medical team started working on her. Dr. Chakwas explained to Garrus that they needed to put Jane in a medical coma for a few days to allow her to heal and to make sure there were no issues. He agreed and signed of on it. The irony was not lost on him that the first time he signed off as her husband was at this moment. The nearest medical treatment center that had not been hit by reaper forces was on Virmire, so that's where they went. 

Garrus handled a few interviews here and there while Jane was in the infirmary. His answers were always the same. "She's doing better everyday. Yes, we are bonded. You'll have to ask her about a big wedding." 

Within about two weeks, Jane was sitting up in the bed and trying to escape. Garrus had to threaten her at one point with strapping her down. Her response was a dirty one that actually got a blush out of him since it was stated in front of three nurses.

The day before she was being released she finally started asking questions. The main one being what had happened.

Garrus had taken a seat in the chair next to the hospital bed. He had to move the numerous flowers and gifts, balloons being the most annoying. As he moved one set, he began to grumble.

"Of all the things the reapers could have killed off, they left us balloons. Fabulous. So, why don't we start with what you remember. I'll fill in the blanks."

He sat down, propping his feet on the edge of the bed, and leaning in to grab his coffee. He took a sip and watched her. He knew she was thinking about the whole ordeal.

"I remember leaving you at the Normandy. I remember the last push to the beam. I remember an explosion. I remember hearing Anderson. From what I understand the rest was a dream of some kind." She stated this all as she looked down at her hands. 

Garrus nodded. When she had come out of everything she was babbling about a child and asking if everything was destroyed or somehow synced up. They had to bring in EDI to prove that nothing had happened other than the reapers were gone. They got their hands on as many vids as they could. The vids filled in some of the blanks for her. Garrus did his best to fill in the rest.

The oddest thing to her at the moment, was seeing Garrus with a limp and using a cane. She had to admit. He still looked dead sexy to her. Her injuries weren't without their permanent place either. She had dislocated her shoulder and taken some massive damage to an implant that was there. She could still fire, but shotguns and launchers were no longer part of her arsenal. She also had some implants removed that were unnecessary for a retired Alliance soldier. She finally was getting what she wanted. To be normal again.

After Garrus filled in the blanks for her he sat back watching her taking it in. Then he smiled. 

"What? That smile means you are up to something." Garrus laughed a little and leaned up to take her hand.

"Do you remember when I showed you that plot of land? On the datapad?" He waited a moment for her to answer. Nervous for her to answer. Her memories had not shown signs of being damaged. He still was concerned. 

She smiled and reached her hand up to her bondmark. "I remember. What about it?"

"Well, here's the thing. The most suitable place to set up residence right now is someplace that is near the mass relays, but close enough to what civilization currently is. That's where we are. Virmire, ironically for us, is it. I couldn't exactly find a log cabin in the woods here. But…"

She let a smile creep over her face. "But?"

"I found something and well, I went ahead with it." He took out a datapad and showed her.

It was a cabin, but it was a cabin on the water. The brown wood of a typical cabin was replaced with a white washed wood. Birch was in there somewhere she could tell. Or something like birch wood. There was a dock with a covered end to sit and enjoy the water. The cabin looked to be a one story but large. There were even to sky cars parked outside. 

Garrus cleared his throat. "You know I did mention living off the royalties from the vids. It also turns out that the retirement salary of an alliance commander and war hero combined with her husband who is much higher in the Turian hierarchy than he let on gives a really nice retirement fund. So what do you say Mrs. Vakarian? Life on the water, being diplomatic counselors and living off royalties?"

Shepard smiled and nodded. A few days later, after being released from the confines of the Salarian run hospital she found herself in one of the two new Vakarian sky cars. A few hours later she was at her new home. 

Garrus had dinner brought to the house and set up on the screened back porch for them. They ate, laughed, and Sheppard finally felt at home. Both of them had found comfort in the arms of someone far from home. And as they both looked out onto the sun setting like a fire on the horizon over the waters of Virmire, Shepard knew she was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to take this moment to thank all of you that have stuck with this story and seen it through my eyes. I'm so thankful for the readers, the kudos, the comments, and the people I have met here through this story. You all have been my inspiration to keep going, to keep writing, and to do more. 
> 
> More stories will be coming. The next story is the prequel to this one and starts at the beginning of ME2. It will detail what lead to Fire on the Horizon. Look for it to start soon. If you want updates and to know exactly when I am posting on the new stories, please follow me on Twitter @ThaliaNixFic I post when new updates are coming and new stories are posted. I'd also love to connect with you there! Thanks again and I'm looking forward to you traveling with me on the upcoming fics.


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